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I'm getting sleeved but my partner isnt. Anyone have this situation?



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Well it's not really a "situation" but we're making it an interesting competition. See, I weigh 355 at 6'2 and he's about 315 at 6'3. So theres a good 40 pounds difference. The goal is for me not to pass him in weight. I am getting sleeved in 19 days so Saturday is the official start date. Even though I do not have to go on a pre-op diet I am because I want to be in optimal health for the surgery and recovery.

(ssshhhhh, I probably WILL pass him because I'm getting surgically altered but I wanted something to help keep him motivated and interested in doing this journey with me and thankfully he is totally on board.) This is not only my journey but his as well because we both have some nutritional changes we need to make and now, thankfully my ability to binge and throw not only me but him off course will be altered).

We've been together for 4 years so far but I really want another 50 at least so we need to get right on this, the sooner the better.

Anyone else have partners who have been on this journey with you?

Alan

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Oh, here's a pic of us... and of course I am hiding behind him. I'm sure yall know how it is.

selfie.jpeg

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Ohhhhh! That's a toughie. I wish you both the VERY best in your journey to good health. I can't wait to see how this one goes! I truly hope you two have an excellent wager going on this one.

Thank you! Its been a struggle, we both kind of directly AND indirectly sabbatoge one another at weight loss. We also both have a weakness for going out to eat ALL.THE.TIME so that has to change. The weird thing is, we both totally know how to cook.

No wager really, just some good old fashioned faith in one another. He has been so supportive of me in this process. He trusted my decision to do it because he knows I would never do something like this just on a whim. Hell, I've never even been into a hospital for myself before (minuts the time I thought I had gallbladder issues but it was a pulled muscle). I've certainly never had surgery. He's just been so supportive that I really wanna give back to him by assisting his weight loss in any ways that I can and (this is by his own admission) holding him accountable for working out at the gym 4-5 times a week. Even if I can't go.

I just kind of feel like we're standing on a precipice together and life 2.0 is what we're looking out at. I'm excited.

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Best wishes to you both. I was sleeved in May. My husband needs to loose a lot as well. With me, the restriction prevents me from eating too much but I still have to make sure I eat healthy. For my husband there is no restriction so it's more of a struggle for him. Like you and your partner, we have not always been the best together when it comes to food!! He is falling off the wagon more days than not, but I keep trying to encourage him. He appears to get upset with me. I think he is probably more upset with himself for not following through. His parents have expressed their concerns with his weight to me, but I don't know what else to do. I wish you and your partner a long and healthy journey together. You both are lucky to have someone to go on this new lifestyle journey together!! If you come across any pointers that helped with your success of working together as one sleeved and one not, please share!!!! Best wishes!!!

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I have no advice to offer, but just want to wish you both well. I hope you keep us up to date on your journey!

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Y'all are adorable! My husband who is 5'9 and 200lbs (healthy as can be) has said he's going to try and eat like I do. I'm 7.5 weeks post op but had a leak that just healed so I'm just now eating regularly but he's determined I won't get skinny and fit (I have 250lbs to lose, he has nothing to worry about) without him, it should be fun to see how he does... But he asked for peach cobbler tonight so he must not be starting yet, LOL. I wish you both luck! Help him be accountable, but be understanding, he doesn't have a tool like you. Is he interested at all in surgery?

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I was sleeved in March and have lost almost 80lbs. My partner wasn't sleeved but I did most of the shopping and cooking - so needless to say he lost weight by default. But now he's used to smaller portions and just as conscious as what goes in - just like I am. Working out with someone else and trying to get healthy is easier with a buddy for sure! Now it looks like I'm going to be the skinny one in the relationship, and that's a whole other dynamic - but love is love and ultimately we fell in love with each other's personality and looks. I was just as cute before being sleeved as I am now - and I'm sure you are too. So good luck, you guys will be fine!!! Keep us updated! You'll do great!

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I wish you both luck and health! My partner decided that she was going to lose, partially for her health and partially because I am not telling anyone about the surgery. So her thought was that she could tell people we are working really hard together. Four months later, I am down nearly 70 pounds. This would be impossible for her to keep up with, but it is also easier for her to slide. She has the option of a soda or a biscuit at dinner. I have this amazing tool that helps keep me in check. But, overall, she has been incredibly supportive and this has been a great journey to have with her.

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My husband has been very supportive of my surgery and WL journey. 8 weeks ago when we started this, he began to work out daily. However he has fallen of the "band wagon", lately. I am now more aware of both my and his eating habits(portion control) and I decided that I am going to help him by preparing his plates for him when I can. He has no concept of Portion Control and just eats and eats. He is 5'11" and @ 250. As partners, I feel like we have to do this together. I want to support him as he has supported, loved and accepted me over the last 17 years. I can't loose weight and get healthy and not do my part to take care of my honey too. He and I both decided last night that our goal weight is 200lbs. I told him that works for me(although I plan to go a little lower). So now we are going to move forward together and support each other. Thanks for posting this topic and best of luck to you and your partner.

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Cute picture! My husband decided to take this journey with me as well, without surgery. He really only needed to lose 60 pounds where I need to lose 125 (66 down, 59 to go!) It has really helped because now I don't worry about what to make to please the family and then something healthy for me. The whole family is eating better now and actually enjoying it. Was a little hard for him when I passed by him in weight and was smaller than him for the first time but he's accepting it now that I'm going to lose faster than him because in the end he benefits with a hot mama (I hope!) He is frustrated that he's only lost 30 to my 66 but I'm proud of him because usually at this point he'd give up and start sliding down that path again and instead he's continuing to eat healthy and ride out the stall. Good luck to the two of you on keeping each other sane on this journey.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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