Self Image

[QueenCityGal 76]

When you look in the mirror, what do you see and how do you feel about yourself (before and after surgery)?

Last night I got a bit of a wake up call. I was at a party where there were lots of picture being taken. I saw some photos of myself, and was like "holy crap, is that really me??" Was not feeling too happy because I look really large in pictures, yet I never felt like I had gained so much weight back, and didn't see myself as being so overweight. Reality check, bigtime. I'm way larger than what I perceived. In the mirror, In my eyes I still saw that person that I was 10 years ago, but on paper (and on screen) the fact is that I am so NOT that person I was 10 years ago... and not perceiving the true reflection of the person I am in reality helped lend itself to the big weight gain (again) I now think. "But I don't FEEL that large, so I can't possibly look so fat in pictures..."

Contrarily, I have a friend who had a full bypass a few years ago. She's dropped almost 200 pounds, yet she tells me she still "feels fat". She is far from that and looks good.

I know I'm overweight, but don't feel it sometimes. Well what I mean is that I do feel it physically (because I'm uncomfortable) but I don't feel that people see me that way or that I look that way, it's very strange. I suppose I need to keep looking at pictures of myself to reinforce my reality and the fact that I really need this surgery to happen. And when it does, I don't want to fail at it.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Very perceptive.

There is a difference in the way we perceive ourselves and they way we actually are. My mother could not believe that old woman in the mirror was her. Now that I am 64, I know what she meant.

I did not begin thinking of myself as fat until the physical limitations and discomforts set in. Now I think of myself as thin but not perfect which is OK with me.

There is a body-mind-emotion connection. When changes occur in any of them the others must change accordingly. Change takes time and work, it is not automatic. If you want the best for yourself you will lead the body into health and ability. Irrational and illusionary images must be defeated with self-truthing as in the case of your friend.

You are facing reality and that is good. Remember, you are looking at a temporary picture. You are making change happen. When the time comes that the obesity is gone you will be able to adjust your self picture and enjoy the new you because you faced the old you head on.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

It blew my mind when my daughter showed me a picture of myself she had taken on the sly before my surgery....I was so upset to see how large that photo made me look because I never saw myself that way....sure I would suffer abuse from ignorant people... I knew I was big, but not that big....I always tried to carry myself with pride no matter how big I was...

She took a picture of me a couple months ago sitting in the same chair and instead of spilling over onto the arms of the chair there was room to spare in the seat....

When I think of that first picture I want to die........

10 months out, I can cross my legs and wear a XL to a L in most clothes.....

I was on a waiting list for 4 years....Can't believe it is my turn to get this straightened out and feel healthier....

You will not fail...You won't be perfect because none of us are ...But if you want this bad enough you will reach your goals.....Mind over matter and changing your eating habits and working with your tool, you will succeed...

Go girl go!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gamergirl 4,609]

I'm always horrified by my pictures. I was very shapely and at a healthy weight as a young adult, when our self-image is formed for the most part. I hate when I think I really look good because I did whatever today....and then someone takes a picture and what do you know! I'm FAT! How the heck did that happen I wonder?

But wouldn't you know it, when I was 120 lbs at 5'6, and measured 36-24-36? Oh then my thighs were sooo fat! That's what I thought then.

I'm hoping that now that I'm all grown up, I can get m weight and my self-image aligned in a realistic fashion.

[PaperBullets 53]

I never really felt overweight even though I knew rationally when I was. I was always just so very active that I didn't have time to feel it I guess. But I was also horrified at any pictures taken of me and would usually be the person behind the camera. It wasn't really until the night before my surgery when I took a couple random "before" pictures that it hit me. I just cried like a fool for hours when those candid photos showed me just how large I really was.

But what's getting me is that now after the surgery and almost 80 pounds lost in total is that I still feel morbidly obese. People do the complementing thing now and I have more energy which was a surprise but it doesn't really matter. I can't see it when I look in the mirror. I still see the me I was the night before my surgery.

On the upside, people do say that it takes some time for your brain to catch up to your body since the changes are done so fast. Fingers crossed for that one! So far the only way I can really "get" how much I've lost is if I take the one outfit I kept from before and hold my current clothing up next to it and marvel at how tiny they seem in comparison. lol

[bethxxx 304]

This is something that I struggle with as well. Before surgery I always felt fat, but I never new I was as overweight as I was until I looked back on photos.

Now I am an AUS size 8 (US size 4, UK size 6) and I feel like I still have a bit of weight to lose. My friends and family tell me I should stop now but I feel like I need to keep going.

I see myself as overweight, even though I know deep down I'm a healthy weight. But I see myself in the mirror and I just see so much flab.

Anyway I'm sure it's just something we need to get use to

[Lunaya 64]

This is funny as I am so opposite! I have always felt huge!! I have lost 70lbs and only notice it in my face, arms, and legs. I feel like my stomach has not changed at all even though my clothes no longer fit and the tape measure says it has. I can't seem to notice any real changes where I wanted them. I can't seem to make myself exercise and I am getting so weak it is hard to get up from a chair. IDK feeling pretty upset and lost at the moment.

[LouiseC 1,029]

I look back on photos of myself and honestly do not believe I got that big. It blows my mind. Some photos I still find quite upsetting as while I knew I was big, what I see in the photos now I never saw back then. It has made me hyper vigilant now about really looking at myself in the mirror, having my eyes actually open and looking at myself without denial.

[buplee 556]

I have lost 90lbs since being sleeved on 2/19 and can only see the areas of my body that still need to improve or where I need to lose. I also know I am losing since I am wearing clothes a size I have not worn for 30 years. I can only see the 40-45lbs I still need to lose to reach goal.

[Nervia 9]

I'm always horrified by my pictures. I was very shapely and at a healthy weight as a young adult' date=' when our self-image is formed for the most part. I hate when I think I really look good because I did whatever today....and then someone takes a picture and what do you know! I'm FAT! How the heck did that happen I wonder?

But wouldn't you know it, when I was 120 lbs at 5'6, and measured 36-24-36? Oh then my thighs were sooo fat! That's what I thought then.

I'm hoping that now that I'm all grown up, I can get m weight and my self-image aligned in a realistic fashion.[/quote']. Isn't it odd that we can remember numbers like that? I'm 60 now, but can remember young adulthood when my measurements were a hip-swinging 34-23-36!! And ,back then, I wouldn't wear pants because I thought my thighs were too big! Yet, i wore a size 20 jeans on my way up, and convinced myself I looked good in them...go figure. Oh we'll, well have to see what I do on the way down after surgery, I'll keep y'all posted....

[kj44 215]

Yup. All sounds hauntingly familiar. I've always avoided the cameras at most functions and last Christmas when I was at my heaviest I saw the pictures with me in them and felt like someone kicked me in the gut. I started to think of how few pics there really r of me in all the family albums and this made me sad. I realized it was selfish of me cuz now there r not many to pass to the kids and grand kids for them to keep. Didn't seem too important to me before I lost my dad but now I realize how dear those pics r to me. I'm glad he didn't shy from the camera (he was also obese ) I am looking forward to being at a weight (physically and mentally) where I can truly smile at the camera. I will try to do better thus holiday season even tho I'm still far from my goal.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

When you look in the mirror, what do you see and how do you feel about yourself (before and after surgery)?

Last night I got a bit of a wake up call. I was at a party where there were lots of picture being taken. I saw some photos of myself, and was like "holy crap, is that really me??" Was not feeling too happy because I look really large in pictures, yet I never felt like I had gained so much weight back, and didn't see myself as being so overweight. Reality check, bigtime. I'm way larger than what I perceived. In the mirror, In my eyes I still saw that person that I was 10 years ago, but on paper (and on screen) the fact is that I am so NOT that person I was 10 years ago... and not perceiving the true reflection of the person I am in reality helped lend itself to the big weight gain (again) I now think. "But I don't FEEL that large, so I can't possibly look so fat in pictures..."

Contrarily, I have a friend who had a full bypass a few years ago. She's dropped almost 200 pounds, yet she tells me she still "feels fat". She is far from that and looks good.

I know I'm overweight, but don't feel it sometimes. Well what I mean is that I do feel it physically (because I'm uncomfortable) but I don't feel that people see me that way or that I look that way, it's very strange. I suppose I need to keep looking at pictures of myself to reinforce my reality and the fact that I really need this surgery to happen. And when it does, I don't want to fail at it.

There were days, prior to surgery that i felt big or fat, most of the time I felt like the biggest or one of the biggest girls in the room, whenever I was at a Christmas party or whatever. I look at pictures of me from back then and I was actually BIGGER than I felt like I was. I did hate to shop and always felt HUGE but most of the time I did NOT feel as big as I was. Weird. Now, the scale and the size of my clothes, tell me I'm pretty thin. People have called me thin, skinny, small, and I am still taken aback when that happens......that said, there are still days that I call my fat days. Just a day every so often, I feel out of sorts, it's just me, but now I know how a naturally thin person can 'feel fat' or have a fat day. I use to think they were fishing for a complement and thought they might need a swift kick, but it happens. I look at pictures of me now and smile, I can't believe it's me. I still have my husband point out someone at a mall or grocery store that is my size. It is much easier to see someone else as they really are, than it is to see ourselves. Boy, the head games we play!!! LoL

[annasue 8]

That happens to me too. I feel smaller than I am until I see a picture if me :/