Why maintenance is so hard...

[M2G 1,836]

Yep I was lifting weights hot and heavy again till about 3 weeks ago when I strained my shoulder....again. The scale wasn't moving but I was definitely seeing results in the mirror. Good news is the shoulder is just this week showing signs of feeling better. Hopefully soon I'll be able to get back to the weights. I'd love to join a crossfit gym but the closest one to me is 45 minutes away...and my job is the other direction so it's not very convenient at all. I exercise at home everyday, but the gym seems like it would be a great boost in terms of being around some like minded people. I'm thinking hard about moving very soon and hopefully that will open up some options for me. The whole "house in the country" thing hasn't been all I thought it would be. Gotta get back to civilization.

I have made some lifelong friends based soley on our desire to exercise. I think it would serve you well to join other "like minded" individuals.

Be careful about the shoulder strain and baby it nicely. I injured my back this month and tried to rush too quickly back into my normal exercise routine. Not the wisest of ideas.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

coops, I knew but forgot you had the TT. another survivor - always gives me hope.

I used spinning as the technique that got me the last 20# off to get to goal. It is insanely intense if you have a good instructor. I loved it, and found it to be very effective!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

It was heart breaking.

I didn't loathe myself for being obese, but failing at WLS, well, I took a self esteem hit of epic proportions. That was back when I was naive and thought that I was about the only person on the planet who actually got fatter after WLS. I felt so much shame, and a sense of failure. Very few people knew I was banded and one of the reasons i kept that useless piece of crap for 10 years was I just tried to deny it all.

I now understand so much better what happened, what my body needs and why that procedure sucks.

I no longer see myself as a failure and i no longer even regret it.

I see having the band as proof of how hard I tried, how committed I was (and still am!) to weight loss.

When people ask me what finally got me motivated to lose weight I tell them that i have always been motivated (desparate is more like it!) but really didn't have the right tools and understanding of what i needed to do. It is like the cigarette smoker that has to fail at it 35 times before he can finally permanently quit. That is me. I will never give up now.

Jane....you've mentioned this before, and I have to say....I salute you for pulling yourself back up and trying again with another WLS. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been. I've seen strong people give up after alot less. You're a real champion.

[E-girl 98]

The whole time I was losing' date=' I never gave 2 thoughts to maintenance. I figured the body would find a happy weight and just stay there. Well, it kinda has. But my mind isn't coming along for the ride. Maintenance is hard for me because it's emotionally taxing. It's like there is this constant, permanent low grade stress that I can't shake. Losing weight was great. I was getting somewhere. Maintenance is like standing still.....and standing still is too close to backing up. Its disconcerting.

In my old life, if I worried about my weight, I'd have that same low grade stress all the time, always worried about my health. But back then I was able to shroud myself in denial for periods of time and forget about it. Of course, when I did that, I always gained weight. I think that's my fear now. If I relax....if I forget about what I need to do....I'll gain. And I will, I've already done it. The couple of times I've thrown caution to the wind, I gained back a few pounds very quickly. Those new habits aren't as ingrained as I'd like them to be. They still take a certain amount of effort and diligence. Perhaps they always will.

I often hear people say they didn't have this surgery to be on a diet for the rest of their lives. Well, what is a diet if not being diligent about what you eat? If that's a diet, then I'm on one and I'll have to stay on one forever. So be it. Better that than regain the weight.

It's hard yes, but worth it.

What's hard about it for you guys?[/quote']

I am almost 18 months and for me I was surprised how easy it was the gain back. I am 12 lbs past my goal because I wanted to make sure that if I started to gain weight, I would have a "buffer" to make changes. I didn't want to start the cycle of beating myself up for not maintaining at goal. I think we get fooled during the first months that even if you cheat, you'll still lose. I was surprise how old habit creep back. I was tracking everything I was eating in the beginning and I fooled myself that I didn't need to track anymore. I starting snaking more. I starting eating more sweet things. I was eating larger portions again because suddenly I could. I stopped working out. I stopped weighing myself weekly about 4 months ago.

Well 3 weeks ago, I weigh myself just before my plastic surgery because I wanted to know pre and post surgery and I noticed my pants and skirts were snug. I gained 5lbs! Post surgery because swelling I weighed my goal weight. Now I am 3 weeks out but I am still 7lbs heavier than at my lowest...And I am struggling to get it off. I am still below my goal weight but it's shocking how hard it is to lose now.

I realized I was one of those fools that thought this would be magic. I am back on track (for now). Broke out my books provided by my doctor and reminded myself this journey didn't end at goal but it's a never ending journey and I make a promise that I would not forget it. Oh how easy it is to forget.

[coops 1,790]

coops, I knew but forgot you had the TT. another survivor - always gives me hope.

I used spinning as the technique that got me the last 20# off to get to goal. It is insanely intense if you have a good instructor. I loved it, and found it to be very effective!

Hi Jane - year, I'm a survivor. Really starting to feel the benefit of the TT now and almost back to my 'normal self' - still swell in the evening, but that is completely normal.

I can't believe the difference that spinning has made to my hubby - once I get permission, I am defo gonna give it a go. I've not heard one bad thing about it... and it is low impact on the joint too - bonus!

[aroundhky 1,174]

Yep I was lifting weights hot and heavy again till about 3 weeks ago when I strained my shoulder....again. The scale wasn't moving but I was definitely seeing results in the mirror. Good news is the shoulder is just this week showing signs of feeling better. Hopefully soon I'll be able to get back to the weights.

Sorry to hear about the shoulder Butter. How did it happen? Was it an immediate thing or gradual over time? I've had to cut back on my military press behind the neck, it ruined my shoulder.....I knew it would, no one to blame but myself. I had surgery about a year ago to remove bone spurs and it feels better now. I've gone back to military press, but now I come down with it in front of my face.... it's a lot better that way and giving me no problems now. Was just curious as to what exactly you did to your shoulder and how. I hope it continues to improve for you!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Sorry to hear about the shoulder Butter. How did it happen? Was it an immediate thing or gradual over time? I've had to cut back on my military press behind the neck, it ruined my shoulder.....I knew it would, no one to blame but myself. I had surgery about a year ago to remove bone spurs and it feels better now. I've gone back to military press, but now I come down with it in front of my face.... it's a lot better that way and giving me no problems now. Was just curious as to what exactly you did to your shoulder and how. I hope it continues to improve for you!

Yep...overhead press....same thing that hurt me 6 months ago, but the other shoulder this time. It was immediate...too much weight too fast. No warm up. My PT back then told me never do overhead press again...even in front of the face. It's too detrimental to the shoulder, and there are other ways to build those muscles. My BIL who is a PT told me the same thing. They must be teaching them that in PT school. I may have to start listening, or at least spend some months building mine up without the press. I forsee lots of lateral raises in my future...and I hate those.

But before I got hurt, I was doing deadlifts with the trap bar and was amazed at how much I felt it in my delts and traps. It really worked those muscles, but in a good way. Mostly a static contraction. I'm going to have to ease back into that in another week or 2.

[aroundhky 1,174]

Yeah, gotta lookout for that lift Butter. Probably a good idea to drop that and sure thing......there are other ways to work the shoulders. Keep with those deadlifts. If your traps are sore.....that means your doing them right. Also, shrugs help me some with traps as long as I get that full range of motion in. High pulls are good too. A high pull is basically one of the stages of a power clean, except without the final stage of the lift. They always hit my shoulders nicely. They are kind of like a ballistic upright row/shrug combination. Yeah, easing back into is a really good idea.....be careful with that shoulder and good luck bud!

[M2G 1,836]

Yeah, gotta lookout for that lift Butter. Probably a good idea to drop that and sure thing......there are other ways to work the shoulders. Keep with those deadlifts. If your traps are sore.....that means your doing them right. Also, shrugs help me some with traps as long as I get that full range of motion in. High pulls are good too. A high pull is basically one of the stages of a power clean, except without the final stage of the lift. They always hit my shoulders nicely. They are kind of like a ballistic upright row/shrug combination. Yeah, easing back into is a really good idea.....be careful with that shoulder and good luck bud!

You sound like YOU would make a good PT!

[aroundhky 1,174]

You sound like YOU would make a good PT!

Haha! Maybe that is due to all of my old injuries from the past. Everytime I injured myself, I became a little more informed of how it happened, how to best prevent it, etc. I don't want to learn anymore new stuff!

[E-girl 98]

I am almost 18 months and for me I was surprised how easy it was the gain back. I am 12 lbs past my goal because I wanted to make sure that if I started to gain weight' date=' I would have a "buffer" to make changes. I didn't want to start the cycle of beating myself up for not maintaining at goal. I think we get fooled during the first months that even if you cheat, you'll still lose. I was surprise how old habit creep back. I was tracking everything I was eating in the beginning and I fooled myself that I didn't need to track anymore. I started snaking more. I started eating more sweet things. I was eating larger portions again because suddenly I could. I stopped working out. I stopped weighing myself weekly about 4 months ago.

Well 3 weeks ago, I weigh myself just before my plastic surgery because I wanted to know pre and post surgery and I noticed my pants and skirts were snug. I gained 5lbs! Post surgery because swelling I weighed my goal weight. Now I am 3 weeks out but I am still 7lbs heavier than at my lowest...And I am struggling to get it off. I am still below my goal weight but it's shocking how hard it is to lose now.

I realized I was one of those fools that thought this would be magic. I am back on track (for now). Broke out my books provided by my doctor and reminded myself this journey didn't end at goal but it's a never ending journey and I make a promise that I would not forget it. Oh how easy it is to forget.[/quote']

[E-girl 98]

I am almost 18 months and for me I was surprised how easy it was the gain back. I am 12 lbs past my goal because I wanted to make sure that if I started to gain weight' date=' I would have a "buffer" to make changes. I didn't want to start the cycle of beating myself up for not maintaining at goal. I think we get fooled during the first months that even if you cheat, you'll still lose. I was surprise how old habit creep back. I was tracking everything I was eating in the beginning and I fooled myself that I didn't need to track anymore. I started snaking more. I started eating more sweet things. I was eating larger portions again because suddenly I could. I stopped working out. I stopped weighing myself weekly about 4 months ago.

Well 3 weeks ago, I weigh myself just before my plastic surgery because I wanted to know pre and post surgery and I noticed my pants and skirts were snug. I gained 5lbs! Post surgery because swelling I weighed my goal weight. Now I am 3 weeks out but I am still 7lbs heavier than at my lowest...And I am struggling to get it off. I am still below my goal weight but it's shocking how hard it is to lose now.

I realized I was one of those fools that thought this would be magic. I am back on track (for now). Broke out my books provided by my doctor and reminded myself this journey didn't end at goal but it's a never ending journey and I make a promise that I would not forget it. Oh how easy it is to forget.[/quote']

[clk 3,519]

When I use the word "diet" I'm using it the way I did prior to surgery. I mean excessive restriction, not sensible limitations we should all follow. Diet can be your usual source of food, or it can be an eating plan based upon restriction to achieve a goal.

The mental shift from loss to maintenance and back again (darn baby weight) was probably one of the most challenging things I've dealt with post op. It is not easy to walk that line of doing what you like, being normal but also avoiding the dangerous slide into bad habits.

It's important to have a social outlet in maintenance. I come here and it sort of keeps me on task. I can't stand hypocritical behavior, so coming here and giving advice about how to do this successfully keeps me on track.

I can say that at some point in maintenance I just accepted that I was at goal and gave myself that bounce window. I never got stressed about my food intake or my weight unless I hit the top end of that window - something that only happened to me during my cycle until I got pregnant. Would giving yourself that leeway help relieve some of the stress you feel?

It's not easy - we don't get to just hit goal and walk off into the sunset living our perfect, skinny lives. I know I didn't understand this prior to surgery and I'm pretty sure most people getting sleeved don't realize it. Oh, they parrot that "lifelong changes" and "always diligent" vocabulary but I don't think anyone really "gets it" until they're staring in the mirror at goal and realizing that it didn't solve all their problems, that they still have to be mindful of their eating and that they have to stay on top of this FOREVER if they want to stay at goal. In some ways, it is like a lifelong diet, even if nothing I do is remotely similar to the hellish diets I did before surgery.

Great topic. Maintenance really gets ugly and challenging when there's a regain, no matter how slight. Shedding those pounds and realizing how quickly you can pack them on is a tremendous wake up call and it's a scary experience. I gained for a baby and I'm still a bit panicked that I'm not back at goal (I'm one pound from the top end of my window and can't seem to shake the final four pounds) and I completely understand the stress to stay on top of things...and from there back into maintenance again!

~Cheri

[M2G 1,836]

When I use the word "diet" I'm using it the way I did prior to surgery. I mean excessive restriction, not sensible limitations we should all follow. Diet can be your usual source of food, or it can be an eating plan based upon restriction to achieve a goal.

It's important to have a social outlet in maintenance. I come here and it sort of keeps me on task. I can't stand hypocritical behavior, so coming here and giving advice about how to do this successfully keeps me on track.

It's not easy - we don't get to just hit goal and walk off into the sunset living our perfect, skinny lives. I know I didn't understand this prior to surgery and I'm pretty sure most people getting sleeved don't realize it. Oh, they parrot that "lifelong changes" and "always diligent" vocabulary but I don't think anyone really "gets it" until they're staring in the mirror at goal and realizing that it didn't solve all their problems, that they still have to be mindful of their eating and that they have to stay on top of this FOREVER if they want to stay at goal. In some ways, it is like a lifelong diet, even if nothing I do is remotely similar to the hellish diets I did before surgery.

~Cheri

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS! Really well said Cheri (as usual!)

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I love this vets forum!

Maintenance is very tricky. We prefer to not say we're dieting the rest of our lives. We say we're choosing to eat healthy (most of the time, lol)

It's been great since I had my resting metobolic test done. Now I know exactly how many calories to eat.

It's so easy to gain and harder to lose, the older we get, and the sleeve isn't going to change that.