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Negative self-image



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I posted this on the veteran's forum, but I wanted to put it out here as well. During my years of gaining weight and being obese, I developed a very negative self-image, which of course perpetuated and became a cycle, making me eat more and become more obese. I felt worthless, like I didn't deserve anything good to happen to me, no one should like me or want to be around me, or want to hire me. This is where, even 7 months after surgery and 120 lbs gone, the feelings of worthlessness and inability to believe that someone would see my worth are still here. I just graduated from school, passed all of my exams for certification and licensing, and am looking for a job in Respiratory Therapy. I had an interview in May which didn't result in a job, and I felt like I was treated very unprofessionally by HR (although I get the feeling it's normal in this day and age). I had another one yesterday which went really well I felt, but despite feeling like I SHOULD get the job, based on how the interview went, I can't shake the fear that I will never hear from them again. Logically, there is no reason to feel this way. Maybe it's a way to self-protect. I was wondering if anyone else feels or has felt this way. I see a therapist 2x per month and I will be bringing it up with her at my next session. Thanks for reading. I just had to get it out there. My husband doesn't understand.

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You know what, regardless of what you may feel about yourself, looking from the outside in...you've made MAJOR accomplishments. These are things only YOU could do.

You decided to work your butt off and graduate, you applied for the jobs, you showed up for the interviews, you you you! Not to mention you also have a husband which alone takes lots of time and effort (even the best of them). So you've done great things with your life and it is a shame you're not able to enjoy/see how really strong and capable you are.

Changing self-defeating thinking is tough but it can be done. Have you tried talking to a counselor? Even if you can't pay for one, you can usually find one through community services. We all get down on ourselves at times so we can all relate.

One thing I do want to know...do you ever do anything just for you? I mean outside of looking for work and going to school? It may be that you're stressed even beyond what you think. Sometimes taking a few minutes each day to be alone and do something you enjoy, can work wonders. Try that a few days this week and see if you're feeling better about things.

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Lift your head up high girl.....Your well on your way to the real you inside...does not matter how others see you.It is how you see yourself and how you are feeling..If you did not get a job because of prejudice that is their loss...

You are working hard to become a better you and here you have everyone doing the same thing...We all have self image issues and down days...But at least we and you are improving your lot in life...

Yesterday I went to the bakery for the first time in almost a year...They know me there and call me by name..But you know what, no one recognized me and I did not tell anyone who I was.....It felt fabulous that I have changed so much that I no longer stand out......

Your on your way..Be proud, be happy and all the best to you on your journey!!!

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You have accomplish things that many will never do in a life time. That is the Courage to get this Surgery and loose the weight, improve your health and change you! To add that you got your degree and became licensed Respiratory therapist! Woohoo.

I'm in the medical field and you are surely needed. I believe you will find the right job for you . A job that will be happy to have you. Keep working hard. It's not your loss job wise it's theirs.

Be encouraged!

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As a fellow respiratory therapist I know how hard interviews can be.

I have similar thoughts. I try to work on them and tell myself every day that I am worth it.

Keep up the progress! You can do it

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I call it 'putting your mirror up'...every day...look yourself in the eye and say 3 good things about yourself...even if you are having one of those days when you can think of a thousand bad things internally to yourself...say something positive...even if it is just "I brushed my teeth today. I flossed today. I did the dishes.".... I read once for every negative thought we think about ourselves...it takes 3 positives to cancel it out...I have been doing this for a few years now...sometimes it helps me, sometimes it doesn't, but I keep doing it...because I am determined when I get to goal to enjoy life...I have been thin before - as far as the scale - but because of my negative self-image...I never felt it...I felt as awful at 150 (because I wasn't 120 like Cindy Crawford who is my height) as I did at 318 (all time highest many years ago)...and I am determined to be happy with myself & in many ways I already am...and I think my 3 positive thing is helping me to feel that way. Best of luck to you with the job and all else!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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