Negative self-image

[lilbearzmom 584]

I posted this on the veteran's forum, but I wanted to put it out here as well. During my years of gaining weight and being obese, I developed a very negative self-image, which of course perpetuated and became a cycle, making me eat more and become more obese. I felt worthless, like I didn't deserve anything good to happen to me, no one should like me or want to be around me, or want to hire me. This is where, even 7 months after surgery and 120 lbs gone, the feelings of worthlessness and inability to believe that someone would see my worth are still here. I just graduated from school, passed all of my exams for certification and licensing, and am looking for a job in Respiratory Therapy. I had an interview in May which didn't result in a job, and I felt like I was treated very unprofessionally by HR (although I get the feeling it's normal in this day and age). I had another one yesterday which went really well I felt, but despite feeling like I SHOULD get the job, based on how the interview went, I can't shake the fear that I will never hear from them again. Logically, there is no reason to feel this way. Maybe it's a way to self-protect. I was wondering if anyone else feels or has felt this way. I see a therapist 2x per month and I will be bringing it up with her at my next session. Thanks for reading. I just had to get it out there. My husband doesn't understand.

[TwinsMama 483]

You know what, regardless of what you may feel about yourself, looking from the outside in...you've made MAJOR accomplishments. These are things only YOU could do.

You decided to work your butt off and graduate, you applied for the jobs, you showed up for the interviews, you you you! Not to mention you also have a husband which alone takes lots of time and effort (even the best of them). So you've done great things with your life and it is a shame you're not able to enjoy/see how really strong and capable you are.

Changing self-defeating thinking is tough but it can be done. Have you tried talking to a counselor? Even if you can't pay for one, you can usually find one through community services. We all get down on ourselves at times so we can all relate.

One thing I do want to know...do you ever do anything just for you? I mean outside of looking for work and going to school? It may be that you're stressed even beyond what you think. Sometimes taking a few minutes each day to be alone and do something you enjoy, can work wonders. Try that a few days this week and see if you're feeling better about things.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Lift your head up high girl.....Your well on your way to the real you inside...does not matter how others see you.It is how you see yourself and how you are feeling..If you did not get a job because of prejudice that is their loss...

You are working hard to become a better you and here you have everyone doing the same thing...We all have self image issues and down days...But at least we and you are improving your lot in life...

Yesterday I went to the bakery for the first time in almost a year...They know me there and call me by name..But you know what, no one recognized me and I did not tell anyone who I was.....It felt fabulous that I have changed so much that I no longer stand out......

Your on your way..Be proud, be happy and all the best to you on your journey!!!

[Ballermom 803]

You have accomplish things that many will never do in a life time. That is the Courage to get this Surgery and loose the weight, improve your health and change you! To add that you got your degree and became licensed Respiratory therapist! Woohoo.

I'm in the medical field and you are surely needed. I believe you will find the right job for you . A job that will be happy to have you. Keep working hard. It's not your loss job wise it's theirs.

Be encouraged!

[stack 2]

As a fellow respiratory therapist I know how hard interviews can be.

I have similar thoughts. I try to work on them and tell myself every day that I am worth it.

Keep up the progress! You can do it

[luckysmomma 407]

I call it 'putting your mirror up'...every day...look yourself in the eye and say 3 good things about yourself...even if you are having one of those days when you can think of a thousand bad things internally to yourself...say something positive...even if it is just "I brushed my teeth today. I flossed today. I did the dishes.".... I read once for every negative thought we think about ourselves...it takes 3 positives to cancel it out...I have been doing this for a few years now...sometimes it helps me, sometimes it doesn't, but I keep doing it...because I am determined when I get to goal to enjoy life...I have been thin before - as far as the scale - but because of my negative self-image...I never felt it...I felt as awful at 150 (because I wasn't 120 like Cindy Crawford who is my height) as I did at 318 (all time highest many years ago)...and I am determined to be happy with myself & in many ways I already am...and I think my 3 positive thing is helping me to feel that way. Best of luck to you with the job and all else!