Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Sorry for myself???



Recommended Posts

I am very stressed today, and here is why…

I've been researching again and again and again on the band. First I was researching both the band and RNY, came to the conclusion the RNY was too drastic/scarey for me - didn't want to reroute my insides. I've been great with my decision on the band. I know the weight won't come off as fast as with RNY…but I could live with that. My parents and boyfriend have also been very supportive. They're terrified for me, but they support me. Just last night Mom said to me, "You know at the seminar those people were twice your size, you were the smallest one there. They are the people that need to have the surgery, not you". I thought I would die, as my chin hit the floor!!! I was so upset, it really left me speechless - which is very hard to do. I just said to her "If you don’t stop trying to talk me out of it - I'll tell Daddy". Yes, a Daddys Little Girl (sue me). She left me alone with that…but it sent me to bed in a tailspin; doubting myself again. After a few hours I was able to dismiss her comment.

So today on the drive in I thought of it, just shrugged it off as her way of showing me her concern, and I love her for that. I'm STILL going on with my Band on 1/30.

Then of all things this a.m. I came into an email from my best friend (who is not supportive at all…we don't even talk about my upcoming banding). Anyway, she sent me a pic of herself with a friend I used to have - before her RNY. (She got VERY condesending when she had the surgery…I did away with that friendship). Anyway, when I saw the pic of my friend - PENCIL thin just 18 months later. True, she's too thin…wearing a size 0. But when I saw it, all I could think was "She and I used to be the same size!" and "I want to be very thin for once in my life". Then came the doubts about the Band vs. RNY. So here I am all a.m. stressing about it, and just staring at her picture…each part of me feeling so incredibly jealous….you can't even imagine.

I don’t want to doubt my decision. I'm very happy with it. I'm not even feeling scared anymore - just anxious! Maybe I'm even just feeling sorry for myself. :rolleyes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What you are feeling is natural. People that love us are concerned and to face their own fears try to talk us out of it. Don't worry your support will be there when you need it.

Remember the reasons you chose lapband and don't look back. We all would like to have the surgery and be instantly thin. It won't happen. Lapband has a better long term success rate. You are learning a new way of life and the band is a tool. However, if you should need to, it can be removed. Your insides have not been rewired.

It's OK to feel nervous and second guess yourself. We've all been there. Good luck to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All I can offer is - don't compare yourself to others. I've lost more weight with my band than friends who had RNY. That doesn't mean RNY was the wrong choice for them. Go with what feels right to you and trust that you know what's best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The RNY scares me. You will look great in 18 months. Maybe even sooner. It is hard not to compare yourself to others, but try not to. We are all different. And as was said earlier, remember the reasons you chose this surgery and forget about the other girl.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sherilynn, you are not feeling sorry for yourself you just want to make sure the decision is the best for yourself. I have to be honest with you. The lapband is a slower process. If you follow the band rules you will lose weight. But,,,,,you have to look at it as normal weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week. You may lose more, or you may lose less. RNY is much quicker. I understand that you have to reroute everything and that is why it is far more invasive. You just have to come to terms with whether or not you can be patient with the band. If I had to do it all over again I would pick the band but would be more agressive on my fills. Right now I am down 35 lbs since June. I'm considered a slow loser at 1 lb a week. It may take me over a year to lose the rest of my weight 47 lbs to be exactly. Probably will take me more like 9-12 months. Some lapband patients take up to 2 years to lose all their weight. Please be aware of this. You may or may not have the patience to withstand the band. It is a tool, nothing more. You can still consume high density foods with the band. With RNY you can't have sugar or alcohol. It sounds like you are weighing towards the band which is a good thing. Don't let others discourage you. Its a personal journey. Best of luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great post Julie

I agree, the band is just a tool and will help immensley if you're head is in the right place. Again, you have to remember why you chose the band in the first place. I personally like the fact that I am ultimately responsible for what I put in my mouth. I want to be healthy!

It might help to look at the before and after thread here. There are tons of people who look fantastic and have reached their goal weight.

I have to admit that before the surgery, the dr. couldn't stress enough how much the band is just a tool and now that I have it, I totally understand. I thought the weight would come of faster and steadier.

With that said, I still think I made the right decision. Time will tell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We've all wondered if this is the right decision. I still have thoughts running around in my head about if this is gonna work for me or if I can be disciplined enough to follow the rules of LB.

I am still convincing myself that I can do this! My health and life is on the line. This will be the best thing I've done for my health and my family (next to not smoking any longer)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Sherilynn

I am scheduled Feb. 13th for Lapband Surgery. Weight loss with RNY is faster but that is all that is better. From what I have read about RNY you have a window of opportunity of 12 to 18 mths to lose your weight then it stops and a lot of people start gaining again as their pouch stretches. Fast weigh loss leaves a lot of loose skin to deal with that will require plastic surgery. With the band you will lose slower witch allows the exercise you do to help with the saggy skin as you go. The band is adjustable for life so you have a tool to control weight loss or staying at desired weight. These are some of the advantages of the band besides the others menchened in the above posts. I am sure it is the best choice for me with all considered and hopefully you will go with what is right for you. Good luck with your surgery and don't second guess yourself after all the time you have spent doing your research.

Terry

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×