My biggest dilemma is that I have to take medicine in the morning. I don't want to eat until around 11 am because I like to have a late night snack of 100 calorie pack of cocoa dusted almonds. I've been putting off taking my medicine but the one I can't put off is an anti biotic.

I guess I can share this ,lol. I have to take an antibiotic before have sex or I will get a UTI.I have to take it with food.

I guess half of a Greek Yogurt would be 50 calories. I need to look up string cheese and baby bell light.

How about you? Is the 5:2 plan working with your life? I also don't like working out with my trainer on an empty stomach.

Will this not work if you have 11 hours in between instead of 12? There must be some reason you have to have 12 hours off.

I know, a search is worth the effort... and  sometimes it seems there are those that search, and those that get someone else to do the work for them. And of course there are those that don't even know what to look for, so can't really blame them...

Sheryl don't you have a detailed post you could refer them to that says this is where all those questions have been answered.

Bill and I doing very well. He's very unhappy with his ED. We are going to CA pretty son, (middle of April) so he can see all his doctors. His ins, only pays in CA. It sucks.

Sheryl, I'm glad you're seeing this therapist. She seems to be helping you get a better prespective on things. Stephen is good for you. I don't see why you keep trying to give him up. Even if you meet someone and you decide to become exclusive, I think Stepen will always be your friend.

Florina, you are doing great! I would have lost my mind by now. I think it's normal to think about other people's lives and compare them to our own. You're doing a great thing, socking money away for your future. I don't know why the scale won't move for you. It only started moving for me if I fasted and then ate low calorie the non fast days.

Georgia, I am sorry to hear of your shingles. I know that is very painful. I am so glad I got my shingls shot when I had all my deductibe in one year. I was really afraid , since I've known some people who have had it. I pray you get some relief and it goes away soon.

Coops, I think it's great you and Hubby are doing 5:2 together. That would make it so much easier. Spring will be here soon and hopefully, that will raise your spirits.

Skinny, I bet you are feeling like stress eating. Taking care of someone is hard depressing work. I hope you're doing something fun just for you.

I haven't asked Queen of Crop because I know she can be long winded and I have trouble keeping up with the posts we have. If everyone really wants her in, I can invite her. If you're talking to her on on there threads, please pm me and tell me why you would rather post to her here rather than ont other threads,.

I also deleted butter becausehe never posted..

Cathy and Chimerea, It's always good to hear from you even if you cant post ever day. This is not something to stress over. We are here for you if you need us, and if you have time to post, we're always glad for an udate.

Globe you are always so level headed and seem to be doing quite well. You always have just the right thing to say,

I am hanging in there, trying to get to know Bill. We had a great time going down the coast for a few days. I'm trying to get us to work in some sort of schedule so that I do stay at his house one or two days a week and he says here some days. He's starting to understand that I don't want to be glued to his hip, but I want to see and talk to him all the time..

In April we will be taking a big long trip to San Francisco and Sacremento so we can see his family, and for him to see his doctors. he really needs to see his pian specialist and get medication that does not make 'out of it" when he does need it. I am sure he will talk to his regular doc about his ED issues which are making him crazy.

It's really hard to fast will Bill around but I am doing my best,. I wan to get back to 130 but it's hard to get to the gym with him around too. I am going to talk thim about that today. I need my gym time!!

I am sorry if I missed anyone! I read every post. I went back several pages trying to see if I missed anyone.

Please chimie in if you want Queen invited. There are others on the waiting list too.

I emailed her the link. It can be hard to search when you don't really even know what you are looking for. I researched plastics for a long time and not everyone has patience for that. Many of the contacts are from people who just had their sleeve and I just keep telling them to not even think about plastics yet....

I will be honest, I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I could look like the girl in that cocktail dress. When I was in my early 20s I was svelte and sexy but I hated it - couldn't handle it. I sorta figured I would look like what i think of as a typical middle age woman once I lose the excess weight. I never thought I would get to a normal weight/size even because high BMI people often don't. Even before plastics, my looks were different then what I expected.

So, weight is a little better today... slowly and surely working off the excess from my binge week.

I am happy seeing Steven and the only "gap" is that he doesn't have time or desire to do alot of stuff i would love to have a guy do with me. This is why he keeps pushing me to move on, so that I can fullfill my wishes, but he is very happy with our arrangement. I finally told him not to bring it up until June 1 - if we are still together - because I am tired of hearing about it. I get where he is coming from and it is my choice if it is good enough or not enough for me. However, i have only been living alone just over a month, I need more time to sort things out before i am ready for a boyfriend who has any expectations of me what-so-ever. Steven has zero expectations and he is a good friend to me - and I try to be to him... so for now, it is probably as good as it gets.

Kim I am not the cleanest person around, but I am more organized and cleaner than my friend. I have known her for almost 50 years now.....she is my bestie for sure.... she is one of the few that i can say what I'm thinking without sensoring it and we get each other....

FLorinda you don't need to be invisible at all! Never again my dear. I will PM you a bit later when I have a little bit more time.

As far as Queen of the Crops, I don't mind inviting her, but I like this site the way it is. The people here now are awesome and perfect.....

Sheryl I do get frustrated when answering some of the same old questions that I've answered previously. I do admire your patience.

BTW I'm looking into getting into another business on the side so I was wondering what you all think about a medical marijuana dispensary? Of course it would be for medical reasons only and totally legal....BTW I don't smoke marijuana and I think that it destroys some of our brain cells. But this is a business idea....

Edited March 5, 201412 yr by Ms skinniness

Hey Dorrie - it is a booming business in WA state now. my little town has "banned" them but I hear they are popping up elsewhere. I personally think it is a great venture. Just because you buy a beer doesn't make you an alcoholic and just because a person buys a joint doesn't make them a drug addict, in my opinion.

BTW, in WA state is now legal for recreational use but I am unclear what the dispensaries can sell. It used to be medical card required, I am not sure now.

Hi ladies!

Just got back from the dermatologist and had a suspicious mole shaved off - find out next week if its something, or nothing.

 

Still hanging in there with the crazy insanity that is work right now - on top of the madness they have taken away our parking lot - although I pay for the privilege of a possibility of a parking spot - had to pay 20 extra bucks on Monday and that made me quite crabby! going to try and stop wasting my precious energy on stuff I have no control over

 

Interesting - the thought that wild mood swings could be linked with blood sugar - guess I have been so overfed most of my life I would not recognize this if it happened to me - but I think I am going through this too right now. Hormones, stress, auto-immune junk flaring (eyes, skin, arthritis bah!)

 

I have been really working on maintaining positivity and nipping the poor me stuff in the bad as fast as I can - so so hard to do. Please let the sun come out and shine for us!

 

Love you guys and am thinking of you all!

I think a dispensary is a great idea. I just watched a thing on CNNC about them in Colorado. They are making money hand over fist. They serve food, and people just go and in and hang out like you would in a bar. What the heck, at least they don't get into fights and go home and beat on their wives and kids.

Bill is very upset with me right now. I talked about how I can't get to sleep as early as him and he said he was fine with me getting out of bed and getting on my lap top. So I did. We are at his house. So he came upstairs acting all pissed off. I don't even care. We can talk about it again in the morning.

I do love him. He is wonderful in many ways and is the person I have been looking for since my husband died. I want a man who is intelligent and communicates. When I told him my mom and dad had separate bedrooms and my brother and his wife do too, he was really upset. He said does not understand someone who wants to be in a couple and not sleep in the same bed.

Snoring is a big issue for me. This is going to be an on going problem, but hopefully, not a deal breaker. I am an extrememly light sleeper. Going on vacation together in April will probably make us or break us.

Please excuse the typos. I noticed my last post had a bunch.

Edited March 6, 201412 yr by Oregondaisy

oh ps. I can't find the host forum. I thought it was in general disussion but I don't see a heading for it. Can someone direct me and then I will bookmark it.

I'm sure I've missed out on months of stuff I was supposed to read.

In excruciating pain, my iliac crest and the iliac psoas that wraps around it, feels like the crest is made of steel blade and it is trying to slice through my flesh . It came upon me while I was running on the treadmill the other day, which means I won't be able to do much of anything at all at the gym, cannot do ANYTHING that uses that hip, not even stretching.

Today was supposed to be a fast day and then I checked the mail: a small box, forwarded from my last post, it contains the memorial bracelets I had made for my team leader that died in December. After that I just started mindlessly stuffing Oreos in my mouth and nibbling sunflower seeds like a crazed chipmunk. Also, the scale says that I am 7 pounds heavier than I was one week ago when my scale arrived.

I don't want to be without status again, I'm sure this is incredibly shallow of me, but I have gleaned the kind of self worth from my status the way a lot of women probably get it from being told how pretty they are or whatever. For 5 years I have been able to say that I am a Department of Defense sociocultural analyst, working with Generals, State Department, going into villages in far off lands, having a government ID card that gets me discounts at hotels and lets me breeze through airport security, and makes me feel like I was doing something with my life and was some comfort every time I would hear about girls I graduated from high school with, whose kids are starting high school now (yeah, do the math there...)

And now, what will I say? "Hi, I'm middle aged and unemployed, unmarried, no children, no health insurance, and homeless."

And, I'm not proud of this and I KNOW it is bad, I'm confessing here because it is a safe place - I binged the other night on bad foods, and then went and threw up.

Globe, as in you made yourself throw up or you ate so much it made you sick?

When you are down like this it seriously makes me want to have you come stay with me so I can help you and make you feel better.

Florinda, you are not alone in many of those feelings. I became a CPA when I was young and I am sure one of the reasons that it was so important to me - and to work for one of the most pretigious Accounting and Consulting firms in the world actually mattered to me... was for the reasons you describe. I felt like a nobody from a no matter background. I felt physically hideious (I had real body self esteem image issues as a youth).

Even later, after I left that uber high stress career (that didn't suit me at all) I gained a tremendous sense of self from my work and peers. It sounds weird, but I felt a certain pride to be like the only really really fat person that ever had high visibility, executive presentations etc. in my little world. It is the truth, corporate America hats obesity as much as the rest of the world.

Going through my sister's illness and death made me see the world differently though so I am no longer so focused on my self worth coming from my career, but I certainly understand it. Even now, work is the one place where I feel like I can really make a difference every day - surely in the rest of my life I feel as though I have had some pretty big failures.

I sometimes get down with the feeling that I am going to be 50 this year - and when I thought I would be looking toward "golden years" with the love of my life I am instead looking at the "solo years" however they may be. I see the wrinkles on my face, I feel the sense of time passing quickly.... sometimes it is troubling.

Steven has coached me alot about this, about reinventing ourselves. Don't focus on what might have been - instead focus on this being the best years of your life. (when he says it, I believe him... haha!)

I think your story can also be reframed in a different way. Instead of thinking the negative (no kids, no hubby) think of the freedom you have. When I was your age, I had to financially support a family of 4 - I had to make decisions based on THAT not necessarily what I wanted. When you view it that way, you can see you have so many good opportunities before you... to do what YOU want.

Anyway, I feel for you. Be careful around the oreos - evil bastards. That gain you experienced, that's what happened to me during a fairly breif period of free for all eating - it will come back off pretty quickly so don't let it bum you out.

Hang in there girl - you need to get "home" - you have a plan, just follow through!

Denise - i actually agree with Bill. I think couples risk drifting apart and losing the spontaneous physical relationship when they sleep apart. What continues to bother me is how he turns hostile on you when try to fix/discuss a legitimate issue. IF the tables were turned, I think you would want to discuss it, be supportive of both parties concerns. I feel like his attitude is not very loving and frankly bothers me if that is how he deals with disagreements. Anyway, I know you feel like he is "the one" but I can't help but think of protecting your heart and feelings a little bit - reserve judgement - if the sleep thing is his only "unreasonable issue" that is one thing. If he deals with relationship conflicts in general this way, well for me, that is a real red flag.

Why does Bill snore with a CPAP? CPAPs solve snoring problems... does his really fit/work right?

Have you tried buying high quality/expensive earplugs. My EX snored like a freight train. for many years he preferred to sleep separately but I often used earplugs during the times when we slept together even though I didn't like it.

Good point with the snoring and the Cpap - both myself and my husband were terrible, terrible snorers prior to the prep for surgery. I always felt terrible because he would feel so sad, and also feel guilty when I would sneak out to sleep on the sofa because the windows were rattling lol. He always seemed to take it personally - that I was leaving him all alone when I was just trying to get some shut eye.

 

We both got new Cpap machines that were pretty much silent - and then snoring went away instantly - now that so much of the excess weight is gone, all of his and then some and most of mine - it isn't an issue any longer. He and I both have snorts here and there when sleeping on our backs but the change has been dramatic.

 

It is sad that he is reacting to the issue the way he is - hopefully his understanding will grow, and you will be able to get some sound sleep.

 

I can sooo relate to esteem/job issues - as one who teaches at both the undergrad and graduate level I am well aware of how my title and status make me feel (great most of the time - not so great lately with my main institution being gutted financially) of how wonderful it can make you feel to be shown that what you do has really helped to change peoples lives for the better. Now that this all seems to be coming to an end, and I do not wish to continue dealing with the political stresses of a life in academia - I will reinvent myself once again

 

Next week is spring break and I am very much looking forward to a respite from work.

 

Sheryl - I feel like we have so much in common - Irish. both 49, and I even drive a mini cooper clubman lol.

Maybe we should get together for St Pattys day...haha!

Well, I think I will be just back from Mexico then, but, another day would be fun. My mini coop really is mini.. the little S Coupe hardtop. White Silver with black racing stripes and black wheels. Love it. I think I need to get a photo of me with my mini..teehee.

I am sorry your work situation is deteriorating - bit life lesson for me - work is just work. It's important, but it isn't your life and it surely does not define who we are!

Yey! Mini Coopers rock!!

Indeed they do! My schedule is very hectic until the end of April and then I will have much more time