gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

My left eyelid hasn't stopped twitching in weeks. This morning at 4am I was awakened by what can only be described as an actual pain in the ass - it was bad enough that I went online and researched, I came up with levator ani syndrome which, of course, is brought on primarily by stress. sigh.

I just want to starve myself, yet I keep effing eating. I am so EFFING SICK OF ALWAYS BEING THE FATTEST EFFING PERSON IN THE ROOM. and now I have to deal with the fact that now I am the OLD AND FAT one, it being a tech company it is composed of mostly tiny asian children. (if you aren't old enough to buy a scotch, you are a child).

[coops 1,790]

So in over 3 weeks I have managed to lose a grand total of 2 lbs... *sigh* but it's all good eh?

I totally caved on my fast day today - over the cal limit but I felt I needed good food, so that is what I had. I went to see Mam and had a cuppa with biscuits and that let me down, but it ain't like I ate the packet. Right?

So I will endeavour to fast tomo....

I was listening to BBC Radio 2 on the way home from work the other day, and there was a dietician on there talking about hunger... she said that when we are hungry it normally means that we need nutrition... so if we feed our bodies good food; lean Protein, fruit, veg, etc then that satisifies the hunger... the physical hunger. So does that mean, when we eat junk food we remain hungry cos we aren't getting the nutrition that our bodies need? It kinda made sense to me.

Defo something to think about... especially as I 'feel' hungry more just lately.

Mam isn't doing so good... and I have to say I am worried, really worried about her now... we are still waiting to see a specialist to get a diagnosis... our GP is really concerned about her symptoms, especially the pains in her stomach, so that isn't good. He has put her on the emergency list and we are hoping she will be seen in the next couple of weeks.

The wait is tough though.

It is Benny's funeral Monday, and that has been playing on my mind too... it is going to be so emotional for all concerned. The last week or so I have been putting together a photo montage of his life along to his fav songs... I have to say it is really beautiful and a fitting tribute to an amazing man. We will play it at the wake. However, the process has been emotionally challenging for me and his family - so many beautiful memories in such sad times.

Sorry I am on a downer... but like I said I am feeling low and stressed... perhaps I should get back on my vit D?

Hugs from across the pond x

[Georgia 2,908]

So in over 3 weeks I have managed to lose a grand total of 2 lbs... *sigh* but it's all good eh?

I totally caved on my fast day today - over the cal limit but I felt I needed good food, so that is what I had.  I went to see Mam and had a cuppa with biscuits and that let me down, but it ain't like I ate the packet. Right?

 

So I will endeavour to fast tomo....

 

I was listening to BBC Radio 2 on the way home from work the other day, and there was a dietician on there talking about hunger... she said that when we are hungry it normally means that we need nutrition... so if we feed our bodies good food; lean Protein, fruit, veg, etc then that satisifies the  hunger... the physical hunger.  So does that mean, when we eat junk food we remain hungry cos we aren't getting the nutrition that our bodies need? It kinda made sense to me.

Defo something to think about... especially as I 'feel' hungry more just lately.

 

Mam isn't doing so good... and I have to say I am worried, really worried about her now... we are still waiting to see a specialist to get a diagnosis... our GP is really concerned about her symptoms, especially the pains in her stomach, so that isn't good. He has put her on the emergency list and we are hoping she will be seen in the next couple of weeks.

The wait is tough though.

It is Benny's funeral Monday, and that has been playing on my mind too... it is going to be so emotional for all concerned.  The last week or so I have been putting together a photo montage of his life along to his fav songs... I have to say it is really beautiful and a fitting tribute to an amazing man. We will play it at the wake.  However, the process has been emotionally challenging for me and his family - so many beautiful memories in such sad times.

 

Sorry I am on a downer... but like I said I am feeling low and stressed... perhaps I should get back on my vit D?

 

Hugs from across the pond x

Coops, sorry you are feeling low - I know that feeling.  I believe we actually start to "grieve" when our parents begin to deteriorate.  I felt that sense of "loss" somewhat for a long while before I lost my Mom.  I'm hoping you get her into the Physician's office soon.  

 

And your point about our bodies needing good nutrition and hunger makes sense to me too!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

here's what I found, Kim.  Don't know her. 

 

Thanks Georgia, I think I spelled it wrong....

So in over 3 weeks I have managed to lose a grand total of 2 lbs... *sigh* but it's all good eh?

I totally caved on my fast day today - over the cal limit but I felt I needed good food, so that is what I had.  I went to see Mam and had a cuppa with biscuits and that let me down, but it ain't like I ate the packet. Right?

 

So I will endeavour to fast tomo....

 

I was listening to BBC Radio 2 on the way home from work the other day, and there was a dietician on there talking about hunger... she said that when we are hungry it normally means that we need nutrition... so if we feed our bodies good food; lean Protein, fruit, veg, etc then that satisifies the  hunger... the physical hunger.  So does that mean, when we eat junk food we remain hungry cos we aren't getting the nutrition that our bodies need? It kinda made sense to me.

Defo something to think about... especially as I 'feel' hungry more just lately.

 

Mam isn't doing so good... and I have to say I am worried, really worried about her now... we are still waiting to see a specialist to get a diagnosis... our GP is really concerned about her symptoms, especially the pains in her stomach, so that isn't good. He has put her on the emergency list and we are hoping she will be seen in the next couple of weeks.

The wait is tough though.

It is Benny's funeral Monday, and that has been playing on my mind too... it is going to be so emotional for all concerned.  The last week or so I have been putting together a photo montage of his life along to his fav songs... I have to say it is really beautiful and a fitting tribute to an amazing man. We will play it at the wake.  However, the process has been emotionally challenging for me and his family - so many beautiful memories in such sad times.

 

Sorry I am on a downer... but like I said I am feeling low and stressed... perhaps I should get back on my vit D?

 

Hugs from across the pond x

Do take your D! it is winter after all, and most people are deficient.... hugs to you and your loss... I made the memory picture segment for my moms "celebration" and it was happy and sad all at once. I must have watched it 50 times working on the editing... it was some kind of exercise for me... good and sad.

 

Sheryl, I find it very interesting and grounding to watch myself in the Big MIrror during dnce class... lost of ladies smaller than I, but I have to say... I don't look bad for an old broad. I started taking the class before I ever had surgery, so I know how I felt then... GIANT. Not so much anymore. And I can dance without the same pains and clunkeyness as before. The big mirror is my friend.~ also, I saw a documentary over the past few days called "On the Trail of Genghis Khan"

http://www.timcopejourneys.com/page/books---films/dvd---on-the-trail-of-genghis-khan/

This kid who has never been on a horse decides to ride from Mongolia to Hungery on the route that Genghis Khan took in the 14th century. He starts out a stupid kid with big Balls and really no idea what hes getting into, and takes over 4 yers to do the route. I though of you and your love of horses, and thought you might like it. He has a fantastic dog along for the ride too....In some ways, the story is about the horses and the dog....

 

 

Florinda, Amazon may even have some "paid" volunteer work... some big corps do that....

Edited January 28, 2015 by feedyoureye

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Nope, they don't.

[Georgia 2,908]

Well, one fast day done (Tuesday) and I did much better. Ended up about 590 and got 6 miles in on my recumbent bike and 5000 steps so was able to hang on and not over snack!

 

Was rewarded this morning with a break below the pounds I've been gaining and losing so I'm hoping end of the week I'll have a solid extra loss of 1-2 pounds which would put me at about 5 lost over last four weeks or so (can't remember exactly but know it was after New Years). My key is going to be getting more movement/exercise in and eating more cleanly on off days. Plus I started taking my Omeprazole (Prilosec generic) today and going to for a while to see if it makes a difference with seeming to be hungry constantly or feeling the need to Graze!

 

Anyway, hope all are faring well. Happy Hump Day!!

 

That brings up a thought. Your favorite commercial? Mine is the ex football player who is excited about getting cold cuts!

 

https://www.youtube.com/embed/QFrsR9NByc4?autoplay=1

[UK Cathy 977]

Gutted, my weigh in day is Wednesday and I'm up a Lb from last week, before the weekend I saw a solid 2lb loss but unfortunately I was not careful enough about the carbs and it has gone on plus one more. I only had 1 fast day this week due to work schedule but obviously it is the non fast days I need to concentrate on. Onward and upward ( not upward with the weight I hope).

Coops hope you get your mum seen by the right medical team soon.

Florinda, the Amazon name alone brings a picture to mind of a good job but also of stress too. It must be an amazing place but so so busy - you take care of yourself.

Hope everyone else is fine. Is Sarah posting anywhere? I would like to see her TT pics.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Coops and Kathy you both report negligble losses but I think perspective is good. we are all several years into this deal and shaving off 10# now is like hand to hand combat. 1 step forward, 2 back, no 3 forward, 1 back.... I almost feel like our progress needs to be measured in smaller units...haha. Hell, not gaining is progress! So congrats on your wild successes of not gaining!!!

Coops - sorry to hear about the family sadness. There are no words... unfortunately I know all too well.

Kim- i will check out that movie! Thanks, it sounds interesting.

Well, it has only been a month since breaking up with Kevin, but i am thinking of starting to date again. I have gone through the whole thought cycle - screw it, I am sick of this, I hate dating I just want a relationship and I can't seem to really find that. I was even to the point of just going back to Steven and finding peace with a limited relationship (we do care for each other and have great chemistry) while doing my own thing since I don't want to give up my daily life for a relationship. Luckily, he went from being wonderful to swinging through a manic phase and as a result freaked out on me - made me realize I just don't need his drama no matter how wonderful being with him can be. My god, i have never known anyone so difficult and yet so easy - depending where he is in his insanity cycle as best i can tell - to be with. It is really good that this happened because for a moment I actually believed he was more stable now.

Anyway, after all that I just thought... I want a real relationship. A loving one with a cool, stable, fun and interesting guy. I somehow need to find a way to get to the heart of that a little better in the dating process.

Right now I know 3 men who would like to date me - guys I have met through the meetup. They seem decent, employed, socially adept people but I am just not attracted or interested. Last dance i went to I was more interested in the cool shoes I saw on some of the ladies then I was was in any potential suitors. I hope it is just because THEY aren't the right ones and it is not a sign that I have lost my desire.

This morning, I am feeling a little bummed because my knee is major messed up. I did it in zumba, which was such a lame workout but the lateral movements caused something to go "pop". I am so discouraged as I wanted to do kickboxing again last night but instead iced my knee. damn damn damn. double damn. One of the things that makes me feel GREAT is intense exercise, especially in a group setting and right now I can't do it. I don't think I can go skiing tomorrow either.

[Chimera 644]

Hi ladies!

I agree that the refreshed mindset is important - I found myself stymied at my wight gain over the past few months...well I put the sleeve to the test and sure enough, just like everyone tells you - you will gain your weight back if you don't eat within the nutrition guidelines set out. Last year was ridiculous with the stress - and I think I let the hopelessness over issues I could not control at work spill over into my personal life in terms of identity and taking good care of myself.

 

I am one that tends to isolate, hibernate, and eat to soothe - and that is just what I did. At least now, I seem to be able to get back on the horse much more quickly. Much of what has helped is the accounting taken along the way - journaling daily food intake and exercise, more personal journaling about the journey and happiness that had come from shedding so much weight, the pride that came from success. I am still working on reaching out and being part of a community - like with this group here. 

 

I mentioned it before on this board - I felt and still feel a lot of shame over back-sliding and gaining weight back. But the reality is that it looks like most of us who have the surgery have the same experience - I am not sure if I have read updates from any member who has not had a little or large weight gain bounce up after that first year or two. I saw 190 on the scale for a moment in December - like my lowest ticker weight I also saw only once - so I am calling those numbers the non-stickers lol. The weight on the scale this morning was 183.6 - and I have set a very doable goal of 4 lbs a month for the entire year until I hit that damned healthy BMI  that for me lives at and under 140 lbs. Gonna do my best to stay positive and keep at it!

 

I was really inspired by the 5:2 thread about hunger that I think it was Kim who posted - it looks like a lot of the ladies on that thread did 4:3 to lose and 5:2 to maintain - I was thinking of trying the same thing. I was having a great fast day on monday until late I was under 500 and then hubby shared a low carb tortilla with turkey with me - I suppose it could be worse - I will take being 7 down of the 27 bounce up I seem to be able to do okay with around 600 cals - 500 and under can be rough - how do you guys do it and what do you eat?

 

Florinda - I looked at a lot of Amazon gigs as well went I resigned from my last gig. Decided against it after reading a few of the job descriptions - a few of which seemed to rival my masters thesis in wordiness lol. Want simple and happy and kind the older I get.

 

Peace to all who are struggling. Keep up the good fight.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda, I work with many tiny Asian children as well. The funny funny funny part to me is I do stuff with meetups and the tiny Asian male children all think I am a pretty hot prospect. funniest ever was the one who asked me my height - 5'5" and he replied "we are perfect for each other, I am 5'5" too!"

Kelly, good to hear from you. Seems like you are doing great in the larger scheme of things. nice to see a "surprise" loss on the scale!

Okay, Steven must have read my mind because shortly after i posted today about him being so nutty - he finally told me the bad thing that happened. Most of his problems in life are self inflicted wounds (he is a drama queen quite frankly), and he has gotten so much better about not "inviting" trouble and has been so much more level headed that this caught me by surprise. Anyway, his woes are serious, have to do with his business and are lively-hood threatening. I am glad he told me. We are not going to see each other for now because I don't want the stress and I know he will freak out on me again when he is in this state, but it made me feel better to understand it as it just seemed so out of the blue. doesn't really change things - but i feel better knowing.

Oh, and I have been freaking out about my knee injury but i talked it over with my best friend and i feel better about that too. I am disappointed to not be skiing (steven is an instructor and told me don't even think about it!) and to not be doing kickboxing 3X a week... but I am reminded it is just temporary. Peace. Wind down... heading out to meet with friends which is what i need when I get too inside myself.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Cowgirl, sorry about your knee. My knee spurs have not been too bad for a while... but I know its just one too many spins away... I really have to watch it. The Tylonol and ice pac really helps when it does flair.

 

Hi ladies!

I agree that the refreshed mindset is important - I found myself stymied at my wight gain over the past few months...well I put the sleeve to the test and sure enough, just like everyone tells you - you will gain your weight back if you don't eat within the nutrition guidelines set out. Last year was ridiculous with the stress - and I think I let the hopelessness over issues I could not control at work spill over into my personal life in terms of identity and taking good care of myself.

 

I am one that tends to isolate, hibernate, and eat to soothe - and that is just what I did. At least now, I seem to be able to get back on the horse much more quickly. Much of what has helped is the accounting taken along the way - journaling daily food intake and exercise, more personal journaling about the journey and happiness that had come from shedding so much weight, the pride that came from success. I am still working on reaching out and being part of a community - like with this group here. 

 

I mentioned it before on this board - I felt and still feel a lot of shame over back-sliding and gaining weight back. But the reality is that it looks like most of us who have the surgery have the same experience - I am not sure if I have read updates from any member who has not had a little or large weight gain bounce up after that first year or two. I saw 190 on the scale for a moment in December - like my lowest ticker weight I also saw only once - so I am calling those numbers the non-stickers lol. The weight on the scale this morning was 183.6 - and I have set a very doable goal of 4 lbs a month for the entire year until I hit that damned healthy BMI  that for me lives at and under 140 lbs. Gonna do my best to stay positive and keep at it!

 

I was really inspired by the 5:2 thread about hunger that I think it was Kim who posted - it looks like a lot of the ladies on that thread did 4:3 to lose and 5:2 to maintain - I was thinking of trying the same thing. I was having a great fast day on monday until late I was under 500 and then hubby shared a low carb tortilla with turkey with me - I suppose it could be worse - I will take being 7 down of the 27 bounce up I seem to be able to do okay with around 600 cals - 500 and under can be rough - how do you guys do it and what do you eat?

 

Florinda - I looked at a lot of Amazon gigs as well went I resigned from my last gig. Decided against it after reading a few of the job descriptions - a few of which seemed to rival my masters thesis in wordiness lol. Want simple and happy and kind the older I get.

 

Peace to all who are struggling. Keep up the good fight.

I wondered if anyone had read that 5:2 hunger link... I think its valuable info too. After so many failed "diet" experiences, shame and lower self worth have gotten me down too... and knowing that the weight gain problem is not just me failing. Being a (non)loser. Bests of luck to you, let us know how the 4:3 works for you.

[coops 1,790]

For all you with knee problems, have you tried Flexisec (I think that is how you spell it?) My hubby and dad are using it for thier arthritus (sp?) and it is making a huge difference... just a thought?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Ill look it up... Flexisec

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So, I had a mini meltdown yesterday... but I am over it.

When I (re)injured my knee - remember, i freaking know I have bone on bone arthritis and have spent time walking with a crutch or cane due to it - I just cycled up about not being able to keep skiing, kick boxing, riding, dancing - living life! It hurt just walking running errands and i had visions of MRIs, knee surgeries and getting fat again. It was weird, it was like a post traumatic stress event - imagining myself basically partially disabled like I was at 310-350# weight class and bad knees again.

Last night I met a friend for dinner and we had lots of laughs. I also talked to Theo (my hiking buddy from last summer that I sorta dated but we never really went anywhere) and he is something of an expert in "joint management" and he talked me off the bridge so to speak.

Today, I woke up and my knee didn't hurt. I didn't have to wear a brace, and it still didn't hurt. I took my own advice to rest it a bit more and didn't go back to kickboxing or skiing... but I think I am going to live.

It was strange to realize how terrified, at a very core level I am of losing my physical ability. I think it is because I spent not just years, but decades, limited in my abilities. My inner athlete has surfaced kinda late in life (people who are recent friends are astounded I was not a jock in high school and college - nope, i was the obese bookworm nerd!) and I guess it feels so fragile, undeserved, and like it could just disappear on me in an instant. Wow. That has been a shocking revelation.

[coops 1,790]

Sheryl, your story re your knee really resonates with me... I have watched my husband go through exactly the kind of mental trauma you are talking about - the only thing he didn't fear was obesity as he has never had that problem. However, the very core of him was rocked to pieces when, at 36 his arthiritus was more severe and debilitating that a man of 70+! He has had four seperate knee operations and basically the only thing they can do for his right knee now is a total replacement... they won't do that as he is only 42 now. He has a metal rod from his knee, drilled into his shin and although the operation and recovery were a very hard year of his life, the difference it has made is incredible. It is just a shame they can't do that to both knees... the flexisec really, really, does help - both knees.