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body dimorphic disorder



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Hey everyone, i just wanted some imput on this.

I'm 8 weeks out today and total with pre op dieting and post surgery im 75 lbs down from my highest weight ever of 394, i weighed in at 319 this morning... but I looked at the mirror this morning when i was getting ready and immediately started crying.

Everyone tells me I look great but when i look in the mirror i see myself GAINING weight, i dont really notice a difference at all so when people tell me i look great, psychologically im like "yah right, they just want to be supportive"

Has anyone else gone through this? I dont want to develop body dimorphic disorder and never be able to enjoy the weight loss, instead i'm making myself miserable because when i lose 10 lbs, in my mind, i look like i gained 10 lbs.

Any help/suggestions are welcome, thanks!

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The best way I have found is to take pictures of yourself every couple weeks and set them out next to each other or digitally put them together and you will be able to see the difference. We all have that thought process that we are not really losing the weight because throughout our lives we never have been able to do this kind of thing before or else we wouldn't be here now, the mind will play tricks on you especially when you look in the mirror. Good Luck.

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I completely understand not believing what you see in the mirror. When I was 84 pounds heavier I would put on an outfit and think I looked so good but if I saw myself in a photo wiht that outfit on it was like a reality wake up call. I looked HORRIBLE! So I struggled with not believing what I see in the mirror. So now that Im 158 and wearing adorable clothes and thinking I look good, I struggle with am I really seeing myself correctly. I dont want to look like fool wearing some cute little outfit thinking Im all that and only to realize people are laughing at me behind my back. But...as Richard brought up, photos dont lie. So I find that to ease my anxiety about not believing the mirror, I take a picture of myself every day and if I like the photo then Ill believe what I see. Does that make sense? So take photos of yourself (full body, front view and side view and a close up face shot) every week or every 2 weeks and lay them out and that way there is no mistaking the progress you are making.

I printed out a diagram of the body, very basic, not detailed and made a zillion copies. Every month I take my measurements and mark them on the sheet. At the top Ill put the date and my current weight and then all my inches from my arms, neck, waist, hips, thighs, bust and add up the inches. That way from month to month I can see how many more inches Ive lost and how many pounds. The pounds arent as important to me just because Im a slow loser. I go in spurts but regardless, the photos and the drawing with my measurements really help me believe what Im seeing. I hope this helps you.

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Great posts, Richard and BunnyK. I struggle with this way more than I'd like to admit. My husband tries and is for the most part my voice of reason. I feel fat quite a bit. I've been trying some new fitness classes/workouts and I feel like I did when I was post op- huge and out of place. It's weird, I know that I'm not fat. I'm at a healthy bmi and I'm thinner than what I weighed in high school, but oddly I feel fat. It's a total mind thing. You're not alone.

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Thanks guys, all great suggestions, I should really take more pictures, I haven't since I was just 4 weeks out and I'm sure it's changed a bit since then.... I need to stop and buy a tape measure too cuz I'm sure if I saw those numbers going down I would feel a lot better. Thanks again

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When you take the pictures do it in the same place every time with something to frame your body.... In front of a door/doorway, refrigerator or whatever. Put a mark on the floor for yourself and your photographer, so you have the same perspective every time. That way you can actually see your body shrink.

Good luck, and if it dosent start to get better you might seek out a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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