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blog post - what not to say to a friend who has had weight-loss surgery



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Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

sorry but this really made me LOL! There always has to be one of those people whose honesty knows no bounds.

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Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

That is hilarious! I think it's blog-worthy!

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Thanks for the chuckle and Happy Birthday!

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I have lost 40 lbs in about 2 months, people are gradually starting to notice, and I decided from the start that I wanted to keep my surgery generally to myself. I am worried that soon I am going to have to deal with all that... thanks for sharing. I am obviously not alone in thinking that people can so obnoxious with how they talk to others.

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OMG, the "I feel so bad eating in front of you" thing or giving me the frowny sad face drives me NUTS!

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I have lost 40 lbs in about 2 months' date=' people are gradually starting to notice, and I decided from the start that I wanted to keep my surgery generally to myself. I am worried that soon I am going to have to deal with all that... thanks for sharing. I am obviously not alone in thinking that people can so obnoxious with how they talk to others.[/quote']

my friend who had surgery 2.5 years ago and has lost 150 pounds says, "why thank you for noticing how hard i am working at being healthy! i have changed everything in my life. its not easy!" and then she compliments the other person or starts talking about something else.

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If i get a negative opinion from someone who disagrees with the surgery i simply state "i didn't ask for your permission or input on the matter" if they push the issue I tell them to go "F*ck themselves" and let that be the end of it. :P

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. People who've never been seriously overweight (or underweight, or paraplegic, or victims of 3rd degree burns, or sufferers of a host of physical aberrations that make one hyper-sensitive about one's appearance) often have no tact in such matters. I would NEVER make a comment about another person's body. I might say, "That color is great on you!" or, "You seem tired today," (not you LOOK tired today) or "You have something green stuck in your teeth," but never a comment that insinuates I presume to understand or mirror another's self-image.

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I just loved your blog!!! There used to be rules about making comments to people about personal body issues. Now it's just a free-for-all. Along with Money Management, I think we need etiquette classes. Whatever happened to tact and diplomacy. Our grandmothers had decorum - they had the good sense not to say whatever popped into their head.

You've obviously not met too many little old ladies from the South! Bless your heart!

:D

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Thanks everyone! I just got fed up with the comments. I got a "keep it up!" again today. I smiled and laughed afterward. People are clueless. I really couldn't believe no one had written on this subject before.

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I just loved your blog!!! There used to be rules about making comments to people about personal body issues. Now it's just a free-for-all. Along with Money Management' date=' I think we need etiquette classes. Whatever happened to tact and diplomacy. Our grandmothers had decorum - they had the good sense not to say whatever popped into their head.[/quote']

I think my grandma missed those classes; she used to say 'you're getting fat". "You're getting fatter". "You're REALLY fat".

She was a lovely woman. We really miss her.

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Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

Ha... This is something that one of my grandmas would have probably said.

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I think my grandma missed those classes; she used to say 'you're getting fat". "You're getting fatter". "You're REALLY fat".

She was a lovely woman. We really miss her.

lol. myfather's mother was like this. she was born in austria, and was one of the most blunt and tactless women i ever met. but she was awesome too. we werent close, she and my dad fought a lot. but i would have liked to have gotten to know her better before she passed. she would tell me how wonderful my mom was and what a dope my dad was. very amusing.

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Flippin awesome! Love the head transplant comment. Mind if I use that when I go back to work?????? Lol....

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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