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I was all geared up to finish the last of my pre-op requirements this week, but that's now on hold. My husband has cold feet, now. He said I need to try again "the right way" (ughh) and MAYBE I can do it in December (not sure if insurance will still cover it after 9/1/13). He also told me that ultimately, it's my decision, but he better NEVER see me eat pizza or ice cream again if I have it - or things will be very unpleasant in our household.

I'm really discouraged and feel like all this stress with family members is not worth it.

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I was all geared up to finish the last of my pre-op requirements this week' date=' but that's now on hold. My husband has cold feet, now. He said I need to try again "the right way" (ughh) and MAYBE I can do it in December (not sure if insurance will still cover it after 9/1/13). He also told me that ultimately, it's my decision, but he better NEVER see me eat pizza or ice cream again if I have it - or things will be very unpleasant in our household.

I'm really discouraged and feel like all this stress with family members is not worth it.[/quote']

Hmmmm I would tell him to go jump in a lake.....YOU are worth it!!! Who knows what

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Hmmmm I would tell him to go jump in a lake.....YOU are worth it!!! Who knows what

Dang I wasn't finished!!!! Anyway ok I am sorry I will be nice. First your worth this and only you know if you have tried all you can and feel this is it for you.....and your right the healthcare system may change drastically in the future. Sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband. Let him know how you truly feel surely he will ultimately understand.

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You need to tell him to stop being so judgmental and negative. It's your body, and once you get to goal weight you can have a slice of pizza or a cookie or whatever just like a normal person.

Remind him of all the times you have tried, and remind him how those didn't work. How many times does he need to see you fail at normal diets before he gets over his "cold feet"...ridiculous. You go ahead with your surgery with or without his support. Show him that this was the right decision by losing the weight, and by golly have your slice of pizza months down the road... gees, what a jerk.

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I wonder if he is just really worried or being a jerk or maybe both. I hope you make the best decision possible for YOU. Good Luck!

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talk to him about the money end of this. sometimes this helps with the guys. does he realize how much the surgery will cost if you dont have it by 9/1/13?

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Do you thinK that secretly he's insecure and is worried about what life will be like with the new thin you? Many men like to hold a women's insecurities against them to make them think that they could never do as good as them and that you should feel lucky to ave him. He may just worried and insecure and is sabatoging this for you.

Explain this is for your health and your well being and if he loved you, he will support your decision! Besides, you can have some ice cream without him!

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I could not imagine not having the support of my family. I am sorry you are not as fortunate. This is a decision that he needs to make but you. This is not necessarily a surgery that is to exclude you from ever eating certain foods again, although seeing how good your results are, your choices are going to be a lot better!

If you are like most people on this site, you have tried to diet over and over again...I hope you have the strength to stand up to the pressure and negativity to do what you want...not anyone else!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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