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Motivation flagging? Recommended read



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I've been struggling with staying on track for some time now, and I've regained more than I care to admit, so I'm reading everything I can get my hands on to try to help myself. Part of my problem is sugar issues - I consider myself an addict, and a small slip can send me spiraling into days (or weeks) of off-track eating and snacking. The rest of my problem is what feels like flagging motivation. I think back to those weeks, even pre-op, when I was SO DETERMINED. I had all the motivation in the world, and nothing could derail me. Making good choices felt easy (once I detoxed from sugar AND CARBS). I find myself wondering what happened to that person, and how to get her back in my life!

One of the best reads I've come across is Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard. It's not geared specifically towards weight loss, but it takes a look at the psychology behind change and motivation, and the conflict between rational desire for a long-term goal, and emotional desire for immediate reward. It also discusses something called "solutions focused therapy", which gets at an issue that's frustrated me in the past when I've sought help for eating behavior problems. It's all very interesting to delve into the WHY of my emotional eating, but it didn't help me much with what I cared about - what to DO about it. I got a lot of info the authors of this book call "TBU" - True, But Useless. Solutions-Focused Therapy focuses on figuring out what success looks like, and on what's worked in the past, and how to build on it.

Anyway, I may not be paraphrasing it very well, but I highly recommend it. It's been out long enough that you'd likely be able to get your hands on a copy through your local library without there being a lengthy hold list.

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We are all struggling with the same issues. I will look into this book. I know that when I do eat sugar, I get more and more cravings for it. I want to eat more these days and I'm not hungry. I know it's head hunger.

Have you looked into the 5:2 diet? I finally did it and I lost 2lbs and kept it off for day 2 too. :)

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I so admire those of you doing the 5:2 - sounds like you're having some awesome success over there! I hope to join up with you at some point, but at the moment just getting through a day with 1200 calories and avoiding sugar and carbs is a pretty big task for me, even if I'm NOT hungry, and I definitely would be at 500 calories. I don't want to make the sugar detox any harder than it has to be - baby steps until I've got the hang of it. Once I get over the worst of it, I may give intermittent fasting a try. Thanks!!

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Escape Pod....I have not read the book you recommended....but I could have written everything else you wrote. I can't give myself even the slightest amount of sweets, or I end up wanting more and more. I recently went on a carb binge that lasted almost a month, after...as you say....having no trouble staying motivated and strong for over a year. I think it started with me letting myself have a small piece of this or that. Which lead to more and more often, which lead to everyday for several weeks....me eating candy, donuts, whatever I could get. Anything sweet.

Anyway, it took some effort...but after 3 weeks off the sweets, I'm finally starting to feel like my old self again. I think I've got my cravings much more under control and I've lost a few pounds that I regained.

The way I did it was with a tool I read about called Fluid loading which is an RNY tactic for controlling hunger. You eat a normal meal. Then wait 2 hours before drinking. Seems harsh but it's not bad after the first couple of days. After the 2 hours, you spend the next 2 hours sipping at a regular pace...but continually sipping. By the end of that, you should be getting quite hungry. Once you are, you do the Fluid load...you drink 16oz of Water as fast as you can. For me that means I chug about 8 oz and then keep topping off over the next 5 minutes or so. This will quell the need to eat for about 20-30 minutes. Once the hunger comes back and the bloated feeling has past....eat again. Then it starts all over. The first few days were like the first week after surgery. Eating and drinking on a timer seemed...forced. But after a few days it became routine and quite easy. Now it seems perfectly normal. It prolongs satiety between meals. And it prevents grazing and snacking because you're too busy playing this drinking game with the clock. By the time genuine hunger comes back you're full of Water, by the time the water passes it's time to eat. At the end of the day, I've not been hungry, my fluid intake is up, and my calories for the day have been down by an average of 300-500 per day...simply because there wasn't enough time in the day to eat more following this schedule. I really like everything about it so far and my cravings are all but gone.

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Interesting ... definitely sounds worth a try! Honestly, I find the 45 minutes after a meal the toughest of the day - I have the hardest time stopping eating. Did gum for awhile but I'm thinking that might have been counter-productive. At work is the hardest, so at the moment I'm trying out finding work that gets me away from my desk until it's time to drink Water again. So, I'm afraid for me that masking the hunger isn't usually what I need. Part of it's habit, part of it's a tendency to eat for comfort when under stress, part of it's the physical side of sugar and carbs.

When you mentioned using a timer, that rang a bell with me, because I've used a timer as a way to help get through the 45 minutes after a meal. Sometimes I think a part of it is just a tendency toward obsessing with something, and the key is to make sure that something isn't food.

Thanks for sharing - I really do think it's a matter of trying a bunch of strategies to see what helps you (or helps you for now?), so the more strategies we can share, the better for everyone. I'll add this to my list of things to try.

Oh, and huge kudos for being off sweets for 3 weeks! I'm sure you must be past the most dangerous stage, so it should be smoother sailing for now. I'm only 10 days out, so my "on-track-ness" feels a bit more fragile. I keep swearing I'm going to start using the other kitchen at work - it's smaller, and gets less traffic, so the donuts and pastries and chocolate folks bring in doesn't end up there ... kind of like the candy-free aisle some grocery stores have started.

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Oh man I need to shop at a candy free grocery store. I am so sick of seeing candy bars at the checkout of every place on earth. Even the hardware store has candy racks now....right next to the credit card machine. Those little suckers jump into my basket without me even realizing it.

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I'm also in the same boat. In fact I'm exploring through the forum for help. I'm 8 months out. And can't some days stop eating. I workout sometimes 4 xs a week. But usually 2-3 times. But I need help

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It's hard. food is everywhere.

It's easy in the beginning because after surgery, it's hard to eat, and we are so full so fast. Now that we can eat fairly normally again, it's hard not to go back to old habits. Having the sleeve takes just as much willpower to stay away from junk as it does without a sleeve.

If someone knows good strategies I'd be thrilled to hear them. I know at work, I have to cover the candy bowls with file folders.

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Thanks for this, I'm struggling ...

Sent from my iPad using VST

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Thanks for this' date=' I'm struggling ...

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

Been there. Done that. Continue to do it some days! Just some thoughts. Have you tried going back to basics like not drinking before and after for 30 mins. Eating Protein first THEN other stuff. Eating smaller meals 2-3 hours apart and including plenty of variety so you don't get bored of it all? And what MOSTLY are you struggling with? Losing, not losing, not having food as a crutch, or life issues it self.

Would love to help you guys. There are plenty of us who have been through it or still going through it.

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Been there. Done that. Continue to do it some days! Just some thoughts. Have you tried going back to basics like not drinking before and after for 30 mins. Eating Protein first THEN other stuff. Eating smaller meals 2-3 hours apart and including plenty of variety so you don't get bored of it all? And what MOSTLY are you struggling with? Losing' date=' not losing, not having food as a crutch, or life issues it self.

Would love to help you guys. There are plenty of us who have been through it or still going through it.[/quote']

Thanks for this advice, it SHOULD be obvious but it is often hard to see what is as plain as the nose on your face!

Sent from my iPad using VST

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

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      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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