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Hi out there - I am pre-surgery and I'm wondering if anyone made the decision to not share the news of their surgery with the exception of immediate family and 1 WLS friend?

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I know I would prefer not to let everyone know as there is social gossip in many of my current circles. But my close relatives, who I do know tend to say things accidentally to anyone, will force me to be open about this. I am not worried at all about the social stigma. I think people are generally progressive in their thinking around me and are distracted with their own stuff.....I hope. But I would rather keep this all to myself so I can stay focused on my new life and my feelings and not external influences. I do want the influences of this helpful website of course. So, Yes, I will share "If Asked" specifically about "How I am getting the weight off."

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I told only 3 people. Would have only told 1, but it would have been hard to explain to my parents why I suddenly disappeared for a week and when I returned, wasn't able to eat as much as my dad (and he eats like a bird - literally, he sits on a perch and pecks on the plate). :blink:

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Only told my Husband and one good friend, after 4months post op, I told one more close friend....Still happy that I did not tell anyone else...

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I told no one except my family dr & my neurosurgeon ( I see each once month)...I didn't want anyone to know or to worry. I initially told everyone I was going to have it when I started the year long process, but a week before surgery...I told everybody I backed out of it. People can be intentionally and unintentionally mean...and I have enough to deal with...everybody is different about it....do what is best for you and your situation.

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Thanks to all of you for your replys. I would love to say that I have a wonderful, accepting family - but, this isn't the case. Some of my friends have expressed their negative views of wls in the past - don't need to hear that. I know my body and my needs and will be the one who has to live with my decision. Kisses to you all.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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