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I miss food!

thetattooedlady

By thetattooedlady, in Rants & Raves

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thetattooedlady    114

thetattooedlady
Posted

Man...I haven't even had my surgery yet but I'm already working to change my habits...meaning I've given up soda, fast food, and most carbs in preparation for my surgery...and my family is driving me crazy!

I am the youngest of four and my thee older siblings are a bunch of freaking duds! My oldest brother livings in the shed behind my house, he is almost 40, out of work, doesn't pay any bills and is constantly lying. In addition, I have to deal with all his tweaked out friends that never seem to want to leave.

My next brother is about 32ish and he visits often, breaking into my house whenever I'm not home to help himself to whatever is in the fridge...he also lets his friends into my house when I'm not home and leaves the house smelling like marijuana whenever he leaves.

Then there is my sister...she is almost 30 and she is bipolar, schizophrenic, and addicted to meth...I can't trust her to come into the house because something always goes missing....she also thinks I am basically the devil and the worst person in the world for some reason...I guess the voices in her head said so. Basically, I've had to call the police on her and have her committed...I was the one that found her last year when she attempted to kill herself and then at the hospital...the crisis workers blamed me and asked me why I wasn't able to keep a better eye on her...

Despite all of their shortcomings, they are my siblings and I have always tried to be there for them. I work hard at my job to pay the bills and buy groceries only to come home the next day and all the food I just bought will be eaten already. Sometimes when I get super pissed off I just want to get in my car...go to McDonald's and get a 20 piece nuggets and a large fry!

Sorry about the long post but I just had to get it all out...they are driving me crazy! What must it be like to have supportive and loving siblings that don't steal everything from you...and treat you like they actually care...I'm only 23 years old and I've been fat my whole life..all I've ever done is take care of my family. I dropped out of high school at 17 to start working....I don't have friends over to my house because my family is...well you get the picture. Because of my brothers, I've grown so mistrustful of people, especially men...so now most relationships with me are doomed before they even start...but I am just gonna keep a positive mental attitude whenever I can and hope for the best and try to remember to see the good in people.....

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Fixerupper    335

Fixerupper
Posted

The best thing I ever did for myself wad move away from my family. Airplane distance. They are wonderful in small doses but I knew I needed to move to realize my potential and that I never wanted to raise kids in that craziness.

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Go To Topic Listing Rants & Raves

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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