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My husband needs a site like this but for spouses. Those who didn't have surgery, but need to learn how to live with someone who has. My surgery date is coming quickly and it's for sure he needs a group for support as much as I need you all! Thanks!

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Hi, my wife went through VSG in August 2012. It has been life changing! She is down over 100 lbs. So I know what it is like to be the spouse. I am also prepping for my VSG on June 14th so I know what you are going through as well.

I do not know of any spouse's support group however, I did find our surgeon's monthly support group meetings useful, both as the spouse and the patient.

Good luck.

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For boyfriends as well...my boyfriend asked me could he log in to my page & tell everybody how he feels...lol I told him this is not the place to complain about ur insecurities & fears, those ppl will eat u alive if you say u dont want me to have the surgery so YOU can be comfortable...he said he will make his own site then...lol poor baby

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My hubby DID NOT... I repeat DID NOT want me to have surgery... He has went through many emotional changes with me... We're doing well though. He's not as bad as I thought he was gonna be lol!

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I can totally understand the need for a place where spouses can talk, question and vent their fears and frustrations--but if it were an unlocked thread in this forum, it would exist for about 2.4 seconds before it imploded, I think.

We'd have people arguing pretty darn strongly on both sides of the issue, things would spiral out of control, and the banhammer would wear out.

If there were a way to keep everyone separated so the spouses/significant others wouldn't worry about having their threads seen by sleevers, then maybe it would work.

...Maybe.

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My husband didn't want me to have the surgery until he educated himself on it. He works for BCBS so he did all the inquiries on it & found it to be a safe surgery & certainly safer than me staying at this body weight. So after he was educated, he not only approved but he's my biggest supporter! I don't know if I could go thru something this drastic without his blessings. I really don't. Especially since he's only one of 3 I've told! :wacko:

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For my insurance I have had to do 6 months worth of classes doctor visits and support groups..my hubby has gone to every single thing with me and asks I think more questions than anyone else lol it has been great having his support, he doesn't have any weight or food issues but he has changed his eating habits, uses MFP to log all his food and encourages me whenever I need it.

Keep your spouse involved as much as possible since it is part of his life to that is going to change even though its your journey

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My husband needs a site like this but for spouses. Those who didn't have surgery, but need to learn how to live with someone who has. My surgery date is coming quickly and it's for sure he needs a group for support as much as I need you all! Thanks!

That's a brilliant idea!!

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I think I may start one...or rather have him start one. He's currently in The Middle East, but should be home soon. Then I'll remind him to start the forum. I'll post a link on here when the site is up...I'll also post it on FB.

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It's a great idea! My husband has been incredibly supportive and my biggest cheer leader! I'm so blessed to have him!

pre-surgery weight 325; surgery date 2/28/2013; surgery weight 307; 8 weeks past-op weight 281.4; 12 weeks post-op 274

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My husband has been awesome through my whole journey so far !!!!!!! !I do love and appreciate him everyday..... he is just a pain in the butt in other waysss!! LOL :P

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My husband needs a site like this but for spouses. Those who didn't have surgery' date=' but need to learn how to live with someone who has. My surgery date is coming quickly and it's for sure he needs a group for support as much as I need you all! Thanks![/quote']

I agree!!!!! My husband try's but gets frustrated at times with the whole not knowing what to think , say or expect. Hoping to be a June sleever.

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I've added a new forum called: "Fan Forum: for WLS Family and Friends!" Not sure I'm in love with the forum name. I'm open to other suggestions.

This new forum is specifically for spouses, other family members, and close friends of weight loss surgery patients. Unconditional love and support get WLS patients through their journeys, and close family and friends are the main sources for many WLS patients.

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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