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Help! What is wrong with me?



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I had surgery 1/24. I started at 237, today I'm 199. So 38lbs down. Which I am happy with but I would be so much further is I ate right and worked out. But I don't.

I eat anything just smaller amounts and I'm so tired all the time I have no motivation to work out! I get frustrated when I don't lose weight but I know it's because of my bad habits.

Is anyone else struggling?

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I just wanna say that you are worth what it will take to focus & make it happen. U gotta want it badly, bad enough to sacrifice, sweat, & sometimes maybe even cry. U can do this. Be creative with your food & just get a game plan together so that you will eat well BUT be satisfied, too. Cause being satisfied is very important. I'm willing to give tips via inbox if you'd like. Here for ya!!

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Yes. We ALL struggle!

The biggest struggle of all is what you are experiencing right now. The MENTAL game.

This surgery is a tool to help you change your habits, your lifestyle and your mindset. If you don't "get in the game" from that perspective, you won't succeed long term and you will not be the healthy person you want to be.

The fact that you are posting about this struggle means you are aware of it. That's great news! If you know it, and admit it to yourself, you can change it for the better!

From a nutritional perspective, the reason you are probably not feeling energetic enough to exercise is because you are not eating the right food to fuel your body. You are losing weight, but you may not be losing fat! It is much easier for your body to break down muscle tissue to scavange energy than fat. So if you don't provide your metabolism enough Protein to maintain and build muscle (which is built using protein), you will lose baseline muscle.

We already lose muscle just by aging. Don't rob yourself of your strength, stability and future core health by eating junk instead of Protein now!

The rules are:

1. Protein first

2. Vegetables next

3. Carbs if (and only if) there is room left in your stomach and your daily nutritional alottment

You need to make a realistic daily nutritional guideline for yourself (see a NUT if you can, or talk to your surgeon's office for some guidelines). Then start tracking everything you put in your body (and I mean every bite, every sip). Are you meeting your baseline requirements? They are often something like this:

  1. 60+ g of protein daily
  2. 600-800 calories per day (this will climb as time goes on - I currently eat appox. 1100 cal/day, and I'm 1 yr post-op)
  3. carbs <60 g per day
  4. min. of 64 oz of Water per day

These numbers will vary greatly from surgeon to surgeon and NUT to NUT. But the baseline is similar and the most important part is to know what you're eating and have a goal you reach for EVERY DAY.

That doesn't mean you can't treat yourself to a bit here and there (no one is perfect and we need to be human about this). But if you allow something outside of the plan, do it consciously, "earn" it with extra exercise, and don't make it a habit!

You must do this EVERY DAY for months at a time (I'm 1 year post-op and I log everything, every day). It will become normal, and you will find you don't slip off-track very often when you hold yourself accountable for every bite.

Lastly, you must find a way to incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Start with walking. After a while, as you get better at it, you will want to push yourself more and perhaps run, or do organized sports, or ride a bike, or hike. There are thousands of ways to push your body to a better athletic condition, and it makes you feel GOOD. Believe me.

It's about changing your lifestyle so that it becomes your "new normal".

Then you can truly say you did everything you could to succeed, and feel good about the effort AND the results. And about your fantastic, healthy, energetic body.

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First, stop and congratulate yourself for having lost 38 pounds and for coming here for help!

Okay, now think about what you're saying. You are eating smaller portions of normal food? GASP...like a 'normal' person?! So you aren't only eating Protein and no carbs. That's okay. There are many here who are successful eatin a varied and unrestricted diet. But you mention unhealthy habits...rather than a varied diet are you instead just eating 'junk' food or food with little in the way of nutritional value? Are you getting enough Protein as per your nutritionist? My vote is don't stress over the diet unless you 1) aren't seeing results, 2) aren't meeting basic energy requirements and/or 3) have low energy. Sounds like you're meeting criteria three. And for that I would think about making small changes that will give you more energy for meal planning and for exercise. A small change may be meal planning for a week, chatting everything you eat and seeing where you can improve, packing a lunch three times a week for work, etc.No need for a whole makeover when small changes will do.

I personally think exercise is what gives me the energy to care about my food intake. I realize that may seem backward. Can you stay awake 10 min later three times a week and stretch? Stretching loosens the muscles and relaxes you and at least for me primes my body to crave working out. Then you can add in small bits of exercise. Doesn't need to be all or nothing.

Just my thoughts. But you can do this and give yourself credit for all accomplished so far.

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Exercise...find something you like and do it. Make it fun..you can do it.

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I am a newbie but I worry about this. I could see going down this path and I didn't give up 85% of my stomach to do that.

You can do this. You were strong enough to take the step. Now do the same and reset.

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I've been wondering this same thing, so thanks for making this post! Also thank you so much to the great responses. I've learned a lot right here.

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Thank you everyone!!! You all are so great to pass this positive energy my way! I am looking forward to making some changes. Thank you again!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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