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Sex?

apelt001

By apelt001, in The Gals' Room

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apelt001    116

apelt001
Posted

Ok so I had my vsg on jan 29 i was 322 i am now 250 and I am hitting a wall. Its like my sex life is non existent. I feel more confident and sexy with my clothes on but I just do not hace any desire to Be intimate with my fiance. Its like my sex drive has been refocused on my running and eatting right. Any advice, does it ever level out? I feel bad that I dont satisfy him like ever anymore yet I used to be the one gearing up ready to go. So frusterated.

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rebecca_dsu    241

rebecca_dsu
Posted

Well for most women, sex starts way before the clothes come off. Getting in the "mood" is so important... if we are stressed, or have a long list of "to do items", for me something simple as having a sink full of dirty dishes is enough to keep me distracted (so my husband knows a fast tract to get me in the mood is putting the dishes in the dishwasher for me...ha!!).

You can't put sex in a box... so is your fiance showing you "love" outside the bedroom. Does he meet whatever needs you need him to outside of the bedroom? Are you guys spending quality time together before sexy time? Is there a connection happening first, or are you just crawling in to bed and expecting magic to happen.

Sometimes we want to figure out whats going on, and since the sleeve is new we may try to focus the blame on it...but is it really? I'm just asking...I'm presleeved so I don't know the answer.

Just asking to make sure there isn't something else going on... If you feel sexy, I don't think the issue is with your body... something else is going on. Do you find your fiance sexy??

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Katnroyal    225

Katnroyal
Posted

I think the sleeve effects us all differently. When I started losing, my hormones were all over the place and I had the sex drive of a 19 year old boy, the further out I have gotten the more that has leveled out. I agree that sometimes we focus so much on other things we forget about romance, and as women, most of us need romance to get in the mood. I would suggest a romantic evening out or some good one on one quality time.

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apelt001    116

apelt001
Posted

Thanks for the advice!!!! I do find my fiance attractive, im wonderin if i am over thinking my own body bc without clothes ugh i gross myself out but i see my own imperfections and they end up being my main focus. Ill try to work on it i guess i need to find my confidence in the bedroom again lol

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Go To Topic Listing The Gals' Room

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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