female only Not as much support as I thought.

[Ms Wisdom 18]

Hello everyone.

I found this site last month and come here quite a lot to see what's going on with everyone. I even reached out and made a friend here.

The problem that I'm having is with my 'intented' mate (that's a whole other issue in its self). He was diagnosed with cancer June 2012 and went through six months of chemotherapy. I glad to say that the cancer is gone (Alhumdillah!). I was with him through the whole thing, doing the best I can with the distance we have between us.

I told him about the sleeve and at first he was worried, then wanted me to send him all the information on the matter. It seemed like he was on board.

We had a conversation and he was talking about how he got his weight back and he's at 216lbs (he went down to about 150 being sick and it just did not look good on him). I said that "I too couldn't wait til I was back at 216lbs" ......he had the nerve to say "Oh, you're going to get sleeved and still eat up everything"

That was a slap in the face to me. So he sees me like I'm always gonna be fat no matter what. I thought he supported me, but I see now he just wants to stand by and watch me fail. (I've should have learned that with the other events that have been popping up in the last year).

Anyway I just wanted to share that.

.........Sometimes people should keep their opinions to themselves.

[jacquelynn.mclean 103]

Is this someone that you're married to? That's just nonsense. And hateful.

[kckitty 13]

I am not sure who intended you to be mated with this person. It does not sounds like a loving and supporting relationship. Mates should act as partners, in my opinion.

This surgery will be only a tool that you can use (or ignore) to help you be more healthy and able to work to the glory of G-d.

[gmanbat 5,889]

The fellow has the destiny of being proven wrong. You will make sure his destiny is fulfilled.

[newat52 1,612]

I think I got the gist of your post. I'm sorry your man is being a butt.

Can you please make your font larger? Even with my reading glasses it was very difficult to read.

[GoldyGirl 186]

I am 4 months post op, and am learning each day that.... I AM DOING THIS, ME, ALONE. I have to Stop paying too much attention to everyone’s comments; I have spent almost 40 years doing that. NOW I am trying to listen to myself and do WHAT I FEEL is right for ME! I have always thought that was a selfish way to think, and If it is so WHAT! I Need to be healthy. So spent your time with the Positive! Best of Luck!

[gmanbat 5,889]

I am 4 months post op, and am learning each day that.... I AM DOING THIS, ME, ALONE. I have to Stop paying too much attention to everyone’s comments; I have spent almost 40 years doing that. NOW I am trying to listen to myself and do WHAT I FEEL is right for ME! I have always thought that was a selfish way to think, and If it is so WHAT! I Need to be healthy. So spent your time with the Positive! Best of Luck!

The amazing thing is that our sleeve journeys seem to plow up hidden weaknesses and hinderances. So in the end we are healthier emotionally and physically.

Way to go, Goldy!

[moonchild1968 102]

I feel your pain. Sometimes people make the stupidest, rudest comments. Even people that love us, can say and do mean things that do no serve us well. Only you know if his comments are isolated incidents that should be addressed and excused or if it is part of a recurring pattern of hurtful negativity meant to tear you down. Either way, it is an important reminder to find a good support system for this journey. My support system includes my immediate family, a therapist with a sincere interest and commitment to WLS patients, online support, and a bi-monthly WLS support group. Hang in there. Don't be discouraged by the nay-sayers. They don't have the final word!

[Pixie Dust 526]

I'm sorry about your man not being supportive. It's so important to have support from the one you love. I have to say, I must be married to a saint! No matter HOW MANY times I started a new diet, my husband was always supportive of me. Even though it would cost us money we didn't have. In his eyes, if it gave me hope, then he was all for it. That's how a loved one should be. Then after I failed, as I always did, he never once came back to throw it in my face. I would be hard enough on myself, so I'm sure if he had thoughts of saying anything negative, he probably didn't have the heart! LOL! I'm saying all this because this is the way it should be. Support, love, patience, kindness....all very important qualities we need to help us succeed easier, BUT if you don't have that support, you can still succeed on your own, it's just that you have to work harder at it, mentally. Please don't rely on anyone but yourself to get you through this. In reality, this really is a personal journey, so try not to be discouraged. Just prove him wrong! You come to us & we'll give you all the support you need!

[Pixie Dust 526]

OMGoodness, I just noticed all the weight you have lost so far, on your own!!! You Rock Ms Wisdom!!!! Way to go!!!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Was that the only rude comment or is it a consistent thing? If it's just once maybe he was just being dumb? I'm really guilty of reading more into things my husband says.. Occasionally, I'm right on and I tell him what's up and make him understand it. Have you? He may be clueless.. Many are. Don't assume he can read your mind and how you feel.

I don't know enough to be able to tell you to just toss his a$$ ..

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I also agree with the others. I went on this journey on my own.. Those who support me are a bonus. I alone, set my mind to succeed and that will get me there

Hang in there.. You're doing a great job already

[Ms Wisdom 18]

Is this someone that you're married to? That's just nonsense. And hateful.

No I'm not married. We were engaged, but that's a whole nother story.

I just feel if I support you then you should support me.

[Ms Wisdom 18]

I think I got the gist of your post. I'm sorry your man is being a butt.

Can you please make your font larger? Even with my reading glasses it was very difficult to read.

I don't know anything about fonts on here. I wrote it from my phone and I'm new here so I don't know what I can do on that matter.

[Ms Wisdom 18]

OMGoodness' date=' I just noticed all the weight you have lost so far, on your own!!! You Rock Ms Wisdom!!!! Way to go!!![/quote']

Thank you Pixie.....407 was just too much for me to handle. I have a ways to go, but one pound at a time....I will get there.