Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

am i the only big fat failure here?



Recommended Posts

hi All,

I can search through zillions of success stories on here but not a lot of unsuccesful ones which is making me wonder if i'm the only one??

I was sleeved back in September and it all went textbook perfect. I had zero issues with recovery and was not in any pain or anything. I was getting used to eating small amounts but did struggle to figure out how much was enough. At first i was worried that i was eating too little, then confused because the amounts i could get in were not at all consistent. My last appointment was in November and i was told i'd lost 20kg which they said was a bit slow and could have been due to me previously being banded.

Now i can eat a regular sized meal before i feel any signs of fullness. I haven't felt hungry since the surgery but i always feel like eating which i know is in my head. I can feel myself putting the weight back on and it's severely depressing. I dont weigh myself so i dont know exactly how much has come back. I had an appointment with my surgeon/dietician in march but i cancelled because i was so embarrassed.

I'm feeling myself slip back into hopelessness. i dont know what to do. I got the surgery as a tool to help me get this weight off but without any encouragement ie. weightloss, i am slipping further into this depression and picking up old habbits of takeaway and junk food. I just dont know what to do. When i was banded everything worked so great. I lost about 50kg and felt fantastic. It's the only time in my life when i felt like i was actually living. Then the slip changed everything. It was torture not being able to eat anything but slider foods and feeling and seeing it all come back on. So then i think the sleeve will change everything and get me back to that happy place/weight and instead I'm feeling more hopless and lost than ever and like such a failure.

Is there anyone else out there having problems with their weight loss/food intake? I'd love to hear from you and know that it's not just me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are NOT a failure. I think you need to keep your dr appt. Talk to your dr/nut about what is going on. Go back to the basics - up your Protein, get your Water in, walk (or whatever you do for exercise), take your vitamins/meds, write down every bite you take, weigh only once a week...you can do this! We all have those moments when we feel like we are failing, not doing like we should, etc etc...fall down seven times, get up eight, as the saying goes.

Best of luck to you! Take care!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can u give us an idea of what foods ur eating. Quantities etc? Are u eating sliders? Do u exercise? Have u tried The Basic Bootcamp by LilMissDiva? This would help me a lot right now. Thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

chicken is a really good dense Protein that will fill you up in 3-5 oz long term. Are you eating dense Proteins for your meals?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm right here with you. I've picked up some cross addictions that are killing me. I was sleeved in July 2012 went to the doctor 2 weeks ago. I have been sent to the dietitian and to the psychologist. Haven't been to those two yet but it's this week coming up. I could have just as easily told my doctor everything is fine but that wouldn't have helped me.

You are not a failure! I would strongly suggest you do go meet with your doctor and meet this head on before its out of control.

My doctor told me that if I continued doing what I'm doing my WLS would FAIL. You're not as far out as me and you can do this!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tend to go for chicken mostly, eggs where i can, salads, steak and veggies, and now that its getting colder there are a lot of casserole type foods being cooked. None of them over bad for you - just regular foods. It s the amounts that i can eat that are worrying me. over the weekend for example, i went to a friends house for dinner. they cooked steak and salad. I ate about two thirds of the steak (about an inch thick and 41/2 inches long) and about 4 mouthfulls of leafy salad. I didn't feel uncomfortable afterwards or anything. I dont know what this basic bootcamp is??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't see a failure here, Susie, just a setback.

The bootcamp is basically a step back into a more strict high protein/low carb diet for five days. You can find it pinned to the top of the Pre-op & Post-op Diets subforum. The link to the thread is here: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/28139-the-basics-boot-camp/

There's also the five day pouch test that others do, found at http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html - this one is basically a quick tour through a typical post-surgery diet, starting with two days on liquids and Protein Shakes, then through soft, firm and solid Proteins. It's another way to get yourself back on track.

Luckysmomma made some other suggestions that I think were really good. Get back to tracking your food. Get your exercise, even if it's a walk around a park or a brisk stroll while shopping. Drink your Water. You've got this!

Best of luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How are you doing, Susie?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you need to get back into your surgeon, even though I understand the frustration, your surgeon's job is to help you. Are you seeing a counselor or a nutritionist? How about attending a support group? You can out-eat any type of WLS, so that is where you have to put in the hard work. Measure your food, track your intake, and work on sorting out head hunger vs. true hunger. I had lots of stalls along the way but I had to stick to my routine. I would tell myself I didn't have this surgery to just throw in the towel when things get tough. I think you can turn this around right now if you are willing...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree you are not a failure, you just have veered off course. I too had a revision. During my weight loss phase I always ate Protein first, tracked everything I ate, never ate takeaways, drank Water, exercised.

I do all the same things now during maintenance. Takeaway foods may be doing you in; high in calories, fat, sodium and some times fillers. Go back to basics and set goals for yourself.

You have to be accountable AND weigh yourself : I weigh most every day, this way I am accountable and if I go up a couple pounds I watch what I eat the next couple of days. I have read that those that keep their weight off(from any method of weight loss) weigh themselves often.

You can do this!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×