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am i the only big fat failure here?



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hi All,

I can search through zillions of success stories on here but not a lot of unsuccesful ones which is making me wonder if i'm the only one??

I was sleeved back in September and it all went textbook perfect. I had zero issues with recovery and was not in any pain or anything. I was getting used to eating small amounts but did struggle to figure out how much was enough. At first i was worried that i was eating too little, then confused because the amounts i could get in were not at all consistent. My last appointment was in November and i was told i'd lost 20kg which they said was a bit slow and could have been due to me previously being banded.

Now i can eat a regular sized meal before i feel any signs of fullness. I haven't felt hungry since the surgery but i always feel like eating which i know is in my head. I can feel myself putting the weight back on and it's severely depressing. I dont weigh myself so i dont know exactly how much has come back. I had an appointment with my surgeon/dietician in march but i cancelled because i was so embarrassed.

I'm feeling myself slip back into hopelessness. i dont know what to do. I got the surgery as a tool to help me get this weight off but without any encouragement ie. weightloss, i am slipping further into this depression and picking up old habbits of takeaway and junk food. I just dont know what to do. When i was banded everything worked so great. I lost about 50kg and felt fantastic. It's the only time in my life when i felt like i was actually living. Then the slip changed everything. It was torture not being able to eat anything but slider foods and feeling and seeing it all come back on. So then i think the sleeve will change everything and get me back to that happy place/weight and instead I'm feeling more hopless and lost than ever and like such a failure.

Is there anyone else out there having problems with their weight loss/food intake? I'd love to hear from you and know that it's not just me.

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I have not had my surgery but has taken an aweful lot of will power doing first week of intense Optifast diet (lost 4kg in this week). I won't lie it's been SUPER hard, but I'm stubborn and will do this.

I researched before I choose on surgery and read a common factor for people who have been previously banded and then sleeved is that they loose ALOT slower. This is what I constantly read. I'm seing a fantastic psychologist working on mindfulness and emotional eating, might be an idea for extra help and support?

You have come this far and 20 kilos is still awesome, don't compare to others even though u so desperately want better results, our bodies are all different and we all have our own barriers. Keep at it and stay strong. All the best

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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