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I'm not shocked there is hateful judgmental people but I do believe everyone is human. We all will eat/ drink things we shouldn't and when someone takes the time to post questions I don't think it's our place to judge. We all got fat from not making the right choices, and no one will make me feel bad about that more than myself. And making fun of them is childish. I researched and looked at forums for a year before I was sleeved. But questions come up, and we are here to support those who get sleeved after us. That is all...let the hating start!!!

Ps no one was rude or hateful to me and I have had nothing but good experiences personally but just hate seeing others being treated poorly. Like my mother always said if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

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I started a thread called Manners Matter awhile back for this very reason you mentioned. If I was techno, I would move it back up, but I am very untechno. I got slammed because I chose to speak up about my true regret for having wls & then, a few weeks later...I read a couple of posts to a lady who had suffered terrible complications that were very uncalled for and another post to a guy who was really struggling post-op that were downright rude...those posts made me very upset. I ended my Manners Matter post with exactly what you said your mom told you, 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'

...now I pretty much know the names of those who are so rude & negative ....I just don't read their posts at all. I am here for support not their mean, ugly comments. I try to ignore them as best I can.

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Sorry anyone was rude to you, I have not read your post but will look for it.

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I am glad I was not the only one who felt like that. I see a lot of sarcasm and rudeness on here. I posted something and it was taken so wrong. I got slammed for somebody's perception of what was written. I just ignore those certain ignorant folks. Pretty sad they are so insecure with their own lives that they have to pick people apart. Stay positive.

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We all got fat from not making the right choices' date=' and no one will make me feel bad about that more than myself. And making fun of them is childish.

[/quote']

We didn't all get fat from not making the right choices for some of us its genetics. I only eat when I'm hungry, always have and go to the gym 6 days per week. I also eat a pretty strict diet. I hate that stereotype but like this thread topic

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For this same reason i think i will take myself off this support group.... I don't like it

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We didn't all get fat from not making the right choices for some of us its genetics. I only eat when I'm hungry, always have and go to the gym 6 days per week. I also eat a pretty strict diet. I hate that stereotype but like this thread topic

If its genetics, why would having a surgery to drastically reduce your intake be needed? You need the built in restriction like all of us, if it wasn't about your choices you wouldn't need the surgery- you would choose to calorie count and lose the weight without it. Just my opinion.

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If its genetics' date=' why would having a surgery to drastically reduce your intake be needed? You need the built in restriction like all of us, if it wasn't about your choices you wouldn't need the surgery- you would choose to calorie count and lose the weight without it. Just my opinion.[/quote']

I eat 1200 calories per day to maintain my weight. My nutritionist put me at 1000 calories and I felt too hungry and kind of faintish when working out. I lost weight but that's not a sustainable option. When I get the surgery I could do well under that because I wont be hungry. I just dont like the stereotype that all fat people eat a lot and we can't control it because not ALL of us do

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We didn't all get fat from not making the right choices for some of us its genetics. I only eat when I'm hungry' date=' always have and go to the gym 6 days per week. I also eat a pretty strict diet. I hate that stereotype but like this thread topic[/quote']

No matter what you are still gonna be hungry. Head hunger and real hunger will still exsist. Some of the gerlin hormone (sp?) is removed but not all. And the futher out you are it will come back. Maybe some medications would help with your genetics instead of the surgery. Maybe Im wrong but this surgery is for mostly people who are overeaters and dont know how to stop eating.

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No matter what you are still gonna be hungry. Head hunger and real hunger will still exsist. Some of the gerlin hormone (sp?) is removed but not all. And the futher out you are it will come back. Maybe some medications would help with your genetics instead of the surgery. Maybe Im wrong but this surgery is for mostly people who are overeaters and dont know how to stop eating.

Ive been doing my research like everyone else and have had all my tests. My primary doctor, nutritionist, surgeon and personal trainer all think this is the right choice for me..as do I. According to what my nutritionist said to me based on trial and error we found out 1000 calories is what I need to eat to lose weight so technically I am over eating. This surgery will make it so I can eat less than that

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For this same reason i think i will take myself off this support group.... I don't like it

Haha...I've been thinking the same. It's very difficult to post a reply or an opinion on this forum without a select few wanting to rip you apart for it. It's also hard to just let it slide when they decide to target you for a post you made. This forum was very helpful to me in the beginning but since I have made it through the 1st couple of months post op I am finding that its mostly just the same old thing. If you dare to disagree or post an unpopular response - well you better watch out because you are gonna get it.

My son is a freshman in HS. He doesn't have as much ridiculous BS in school as we do here on this site.

That's sad.

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We didn't all get fat from not making the right choices for some of us its genetics. I only eat when I'm hungry' date=' always have and go to the gym 6 days per week. I also eat a pretty strict diet. I hate that stereotype but like this thread topic[/quote']

I understand that genetics play a role, I have a thyroid problem which made me gain weight. But I also over ate, I was talking more personally about having no one to blame but myself. Also for the most part the over weight people in the world are from eating to much and lack of exercise. I am sorry if it came across like think everyone is fat bc they ate to much, I do understand genetics coming from a very over weight family and having pcos, and thyroid issues, blood pressure, heart failure I get it but I personally blame what I put in my mouth. Sorry for you issues, I would be upset if I was eating right and working out and still no results.

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I thought about leaving the site when I was slammed on boards & private messages about my regret, but then, I thought about...One, if my story helps one person, I should stay. Second, I won't give those certain posters the satifisfaction of leaving....I teach middle school - a few of them remind me of my immature, rude students with the things that they have the nerve to say to others & even laugh about saying to others with other negative posters. And lastly, and most importantly, where I do have true regret - I do need the support from those that are kind and understanding.

Hope everyone above that mentioned leaving - stay, ladies & gentleman! Stay for you!

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Who are deese mutts? I'll send Luca...

post-20464-13813665400628_thumb.jpg

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So true....initial post.

I have noticed it as well.... the snide comments from the same people. It happens when someone (even me) posts the decision/s one made that were probably not the best. Instead of suggestions, understanding, empathy....they post critical judgements and near personal attacks. Obviously very immature. I will unfollow the post if they chime in.

It would be helpful for them to remember that we all got here because of bad choices. Surgery is not going to cure an eating disorder. For me, it's one foot in front of the other, and I hope each day affords me the chance to learn and make the best choices for my success.

And in the words of your mother and mine....'if you can't say anything nice...don't say anything at all'. Good words!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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