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I was never a heavy kid, although I was never skinny. I was fairly athletic, and also an “early bloomer” girl. By the time I was 12, I looked more like an 18 yr old, which caused my mother a fair amount of concern. My weight gain has been the result of a sort of “perfect storm” of three factors. When I was 17, I seriously injured my left knee in a silly accident. Five months later, I re-injured it playing basketball. I think I could have come back from the first injury, but the second injury pretty much meant that my knee would never be quite the same again. When I was 25, I began taking a medication that had a side effect of increased appetite. Around the same time, my first husband began to get seriously interested in cooking. He developed his skill to almost a professional chef level. He prepared amazing food every day, and we loved hosting dinner parties. Because of my knee issues, exercise was difficult. Sure enough, the weight piled on. The higher my weight got, the more difficulties I had with my knee. I attempted to diet, but my husband was not willing to compromise the quality of his food by adjusting his dishes to be low fat. It became a vicious cycle and I continued to put on weight. Eventually, due to all the years of compensating for my left knee, I began to have problems with my right knee. I’ve had arthroscopic surgeries, but those procedures really just ended up aggravating the damage.

In 2006, I went through a divorce and decided to try online dating. I hadn’t had a date with anyone new since 1984, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. As it turned out, I met a wonderful man, and we married five years ago. He is very much a caretaker kind of guy, and he always made a point of doing the heavy lifting for me. I was already heavy when we met, probably around 270, but my weight crept up over the 300 mark. Because my husband jumps in so quickly to help me with tasks I find difficult, it took me awhile to notice how quickly my mobility was deteriorating. I love to cook, and I started noticing that I couldn't stand up all the way through preparing a meal. I began to sit down when I was doing all my prep work. At the end of cooking a big meal, my pain would be such that I couldn't even carry the plates to the table. Big trips to the grocery store, or walking through our local farmer’s market, became very difficult and painful. Going up stairs was not too bad, but going down stairs or down a slope would bring tears to my eyes. I am in school full time right now, and I have to carefully plan my walking routes to figure out the way with the fewest stairs and hills.

My orthopedic doc has told me I need double knee replacement surgery, but he warned me that the replacements only last about 10-15 years. Carrying excess weight would put me on the shorter end of that range. The older I am and the less I weigh when I have my knees replaced, the better the outcome will be. I am 48 right now, and that’s way too young. About a year ago, my ortho's PA suggested that I get a handicapped hang tag for my car. Believe it or not, I was shocked. Me, disabled? No way! I just limp a lot, and have pain every day, and can’t stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and I can’t….oh, wait. Never mind. It was a very hard thing for me to accept, but that is exactly where I have gotten to. A few months ago, I sat down and made a list of all the things I could do 2 or 3 years ago, but can no longer do. The length of the list shocked me into action, and I began to investigate the different types of WLS. I chose the sleeve for many of the same reasons we all did...no malabsorption issues, no messing with intestines, etc. I know I will probably still need to have my knees replaced someday. However, losing a significant amount of weight will help me in many ways, including allowing me to delay the knee surgery for (hopefully) years.

About a year ago, we became friends with a couple who have both had DS surgery. Although I have known people who had some type of WLS, they were never people with the same kind of food passion that I have. However, these new friends are even more hardcore foodies than I am. They showed me that WLS does not have to mean losing the passion for food that is so important to me. They have shared with me the ways in which they adapted their cooking post-op, and how they still enjoy amazing food in much less quantity. So, I’m approaching this surgery as a creative challenge. I already don’t eat a lot of crappy food, but I think I will have much less tolerance for it post-op. I am adapting some of my recipes for post-op life, and researching cookbooks for ideas. I don't really have a firm goal weight. I'd like for my weight to be under 200, but I won't feel like a failure if I don't get there.

I want to walk without pain. I want to dance. I want to be able to work in my yard. I want to walk around to the shops and restaurants downtown and stroll through the farmer’s market. I want to go shopping with my girlfriends. I want to go to a concert or a sports event and know that I can walk around the venue. I want to travel, and be able to walk around exploring a new place. I want to burn the handicap sign in my car. I know there will always be limits to what I can do, but the restrictions in my life have become unacceptable to me. I just want to walk.

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southernsoul

congrats on being sleeved june 19th :)

with your excitement and anticipation - time will pass quickly :)

maybe you can start to follow some of the drinking rules - eating smaller portions

this will help you - give you good practice for your "official" life with the sleeve!

before you know it, you will be starting your longer, healthier, happier life with your new best friend - the sleeve :)

i think all the "wants" you have listed - are very doable

as you lose weight - your health, energy, mobility will improve :)

enjoyed reading your well written post telling us the "life" of southernsoul in a million words or less!! :lol:

easier said than done - but you must/and will be patient for your surgery in june - remember....

"God Grant Me Patience Just Hurry Up About It!!" :lol:

take care

speedy recovery

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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