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How to deal with the disappointment



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Heya

I was due to have my band removed and get sleeved on the 26th. However when I woke up it turned out the surgeon couldn't do the sleeve due to the inflammation caused by the band.

I am so upset. I had been visualising my weight loss and was so excited and motivated. I have a holiday in 6 months time and was planning on being a lot thinner.

Surgeon says he will probably be able to do the sleeve in 6 months time. So I know it's not the end of the line.

I am sooo grateful I made it through the op as I had got myself so worked up that I would die so I'm pleased to be out the other side. However I feel gutted I am not on the losing side.

I had coped pretty well with the preop diet and lost 15lbs. I would love to keep up the momentum and continue to lose a bit.

SO how do I keep myself going and not just turn to the food as a comfort as I'm pretty down about not being sleeved? I'm also frustrated at having to take more time off work in 6m time.

I am not a patient person, so how do I cope with this setback?

gilx

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I feel really bad ... i can't imagine how you must have felt, waking up and finding that you had not been sleeved. I am so sorry. However the 6 mths wait will go faster then you think and at least you can heal from the scars and know when the surgery is done it will be right. try and keep up the good work and continue to work at losing the weight .. when you have the surgery you will be that much ahead of the game. Good luck to you!

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I'm so sorry. I know exactly how it feels to wake up and find out you have not been sleeved. I was to be sleeved on Nov. 6 and also have my gallbladder taken out. I woke to tubes down my throat, hooked up to heart monitors and the news that they could not finish my surgery. My heart rate spiked half way through surgery and they decided since they did not know the cause they should stop. I was so disappointed, but i understood. Thankfully it was nothing serious and I could be sleeved a month later. I decided to stay on my pre-op diet to get in the best shape possible for surgery. What motivated me was knowing there was an end point. A date to work toward and knowing that the "diet" was not going to last forever. I took the time to fully embrace the changes I was going to make and start on an exercise program. It is not fun to go through surgery twice, and I won't lie, it was a tough not to fall into bad emotional eating habits in the meantime. But I stayed committed. You can too! Please reach out if you need motivation or encouragement or just need to vent.

You can do this!

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I am so sorry this happened to you! But I am so glad you posted this! I am scheduled for a revision on 4/25 and I have a feeling I will be waking up to the same thing, I am terrified about re-gaining the weight I lost with the band. Please keep me posted. I wish you the best!

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Seems like quite a few of us have expeienced this disappointment. I feel for you.. Seriously! When I found out they took my band (in order to save my life) I went ballistic and they had to sedate me. Then I had to wait 18 months before I was cleared for the sleeve. They weren't even sure my stomach would survive.

Anyway.. Hang in there and stay positive!

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Thanks everyone for your kind words.

I am just trying to keep the eating under control. I was so achy before the preop diet and I lost 15lbs which eased my poor feet and knees. I know if I go back to eating badly I'll regain quickly and be in daily pain again.

Unfortunately if I was good at dieting I wouldn't be in this position.....

The adult part of me knows it's best to be safe and that I can do some ground work before going in for the op again. However the childish side of me is wanting to have a tantrum and go stuff my face with junk.

My surgeon had been so sure he'd be able to do the 2 ops at the same time however my band had been fitted by a different surgeon and he had overstitched the stomach at the top meaning the inflammation was pretty bad. Luckily no major damage to my stomach.

jerseygirl - glad to hear you are doing well after an initial blip. It is a bit of an upset when you wake up and things aren't how you planned. I was quite emotional and this lovely trainee nurse who was only about 18yrs old was comforting me - the staff were amazing.

BeckH - I suppose it's best to consider every outcome. I really hadn't thought too much about not being able to be sleeved as my surgeon was so confident about doing both ops at once. I was more worried about having to convert from laparoscopic to open procedure.

I'm also left wondering what to say to my work as I'll be needing more time off in 6months.... they won't be happy!

Well wish me luck in controlling my eating.

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I have pretty much prepared my self to just have the band removed. I'm really hoping for the revision all in one but I would rather be alive and fat than dead. I trust my surgeon to do what ever is best for me. I am so sick of my band that I believe it will just be a relief to have it out. I had it almost completely unfilled after not being able to eat (even times when I couldn't drink liquids) and I have lost another 5lbs. (it is still currently almost all the way unfilled) At this point I feel that I am doing it all on my own and the band is now more torture than it is a tool. I am pleased with the 70lbs that the band helped me lose but I do not want to vomit any more. I got married in September and I am hoping to get pregnant and I don't want to worry about the band through pregnancy.

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i was the same way. My surgery was March 15 but a week before my surgery he wanted to do a EDG an I was not happy after the results he had to unfilled my band due to scar tissues, and an ulcer which another Dr did my band. So now I am on Med until my next EDG April 22 if things r OK I will be sleeve on May 1 2013

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So sorry, but also it was a great call by the doc. Revision is always more dangerous than just the sleeve and this way, you're stomach will be in great shape to have the surgery in the future. The complications can be so severe that while frustrating, it will make future surgery much safer.

You're probably on a post-op eating plan for a bit right now, then you'll be on a pre-op plan again so probably 4 - 5 months of concern. Doesnt' make it any easier, but perhaps breaking it down might help it seem less daunting?

Good luck to you!

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Thanks for replying. I've not been on the site much as I find it hard seeing everyone continuing with their recovery and weight loss while I'm stalled.

I am feeling a little better, Really trying to continue watching what I'm eating. Apart from yesterday when I gave in to some easter choccy....

I really respect my surgeon and it gives me a lot of faith in him that he chose to be cautious.

Rbean - what is an edg? Good luck for the 1st May.

gilx

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Sorry its a EGD

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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