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What is Wrong with ME?



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What is wrong with me..?I am almost 3 months out have Lost 40+ lbs., (only weigh at doctor’s office and not weighed in 3 weeks)… People are starting to notice that I have Lost weight and I DON’T like it…I feel awkward and don’t know how to respond. Very uncomfortable with the Nice comments…I have not told anyone other than husband and 1 friend that I had the surgery. Help What is Wrong with ME..

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All you have to do is say thank you and change the subject. if they persist just say you would rather not discuss it, but thank you for noticing.

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I get that way too! I always down play it or change the subject... I don't know my weight is a very personal thing to me.. And I guess I pretended that no one noticed I when I was rotund and now I'm wondering why are they noticing the loss...

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I am only 2-3 weeks out and people are noticing my weight loss. Some know I had a hernia problem. I say, " I had surgery-and if you had to eat like I do--you'd loose weight too!" Their usual response, "Oh-ok" I do not leak any of the other. Maybe down the line-just not now. I feel I have to say something-when they are seeing me eat creamy soups/broth while they are eating roast-fish-burgers..

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I generally tell them I had the sleeve surgery, but if I don't feel like explaining it I just say I'm working on it, thanks for noticing. Sometimes it is awkward, but in the long run I think I'd feel awful if no one acknowleged my progress.

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I haven't told to many people either and when people ask I tell the truth. Diet and exercise. That's how your losing it....doesn't matter why you are able to diet. I know what you mean though because at first I would say I got sick then I started saying I had some health issues but people think serious issues so I started saying diet and exercise there's no other way.

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It is very hard for people like us to accept complements on our weight, or for our appearance period. We have low self esteem, and we don't feel like we deserve to be complemented. You will get better with this as you gain more self confidence. Head up! 40 pounds is amazing btw! Congrats!

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I do not plan to tell anyone other than my husband and children. I do not even want their spouses to know. I do too have a hernia under my navel but my doctor does not want to remove it at the same time as the sleeve. He even says I may not need to have it removed.

I do not want friends to keep asking why I will be losing weight so much faster than I have been able to lose for the past 10 years. They knew me when I was thin and hopefully they will just think I have finally been successful. I am so grateful to have all of my "new " friends on this page who know the struggles and heartaches we have been dealing with for many years.

As far as why I am eating so much less or not at all, I plan to say that I finally found a food plan that is making me lose weight using Protein shakes etc.

I will be sleeved in three weeks and I am nervous about what is to come. Yes, I would love to have my friends at my side as I know they would be BUT I am not ready to share this journey yet with them.

Let all of you be new friends that will understand each other.

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I know for me I was kinda forced to share with coworkers because they over heard my conversations with the Drs office. I'm a person that's almost reclusive so I don't have friends outside of work. So I said all that to say I didn't willingly share with coworkers because of the stigma, reaction, snide remarks & jokes. To heal and be successful I must focus and not be consumed with judgement. No one wanted me to get this surgery not even my family. So I had the surgery 2 days ago and I trusted one friend to be there for me.

People really don't understand that we are doing this to improve our quality of life. To have a long life and be proactive instead of reactive to health issues. I know when I go back to work people will be watching & talking but that's ok. I only want positive reinforcement..So I won't be discussing it. It's important we keep positive along our new journey.

I know how u feel and I refuse to allow doubt in my life no matter what. Do I still feel ashamed, yes but I'm praying that will go away.

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I just say a quick "thanks for noticing!" And change the subject quickly.

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You could say you've had a thyroid problem and the doctors have just sorted it out?

Why would you lie?

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"You really think so? I've been working out here and there and eating differently."

And when they ask Whats the secret you pretend like you have the ultimate tip and say shhh don't tell anyone... diet and exercise lol

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"You really think so? I've been working out here and there and eating differently."

And when they ask Whats the secret you pretend like you have the ultimate tip and say shhh don't tell anyone... diet and exercise lol

Love it! It also happens to be the truth!

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Why hide the fact -take all the complements you can earned them. People say we took the easily way out I say you doit and tell me how easy it is. I changed my life 180 degrees for the better

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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