female only My marriage sucks

[ooffa511 507]

I've always been a hard worker, but I'm ready to give up on my marriage. For the 6th time in 7 years my husband wants to leave his job. We are in a horrible financial situation. But now, I have put my foot down. Enough is enough. I said u gave to wait until we are out of our financial pickle. He basically said no. So I said I'm done. I'd rather be alone than to keep having him base these decisions solely on how he feels. I'm 30 and feel amazing since my sleeve. I'm down 118 lbs. and I have my life back, sorta. Any help from married folks would be great!! =(

[sleeveconvert 55]

I am in support of you doing what makes you happy ! When the Team isnt anymore it doesnt work and you getting out may be whats best for you!

Good Luck !

[Houston17 115]

When we took our vows, we committed to be there for each other for richer or poorer... To be there for better or worse.... I know that this must be very trying for you and we don't know what you have been thru. Do you still love him? Maybe things will be brighter tomorrow. Marriage takes work! My husband can definitely test me but I love him dearly and don't know what I would do without him. Best of luck to you as you work to get thru this bump on the road of life!

[ooffa511 507]

When we took our vows' date=' we committed to be there for each other for richer or poorer... To be there for better or worse.... I know that this must be very trying for you and we don't know what you have been thru. Do you still love him? Maybe things will be brighter tomorrow. Marriage takes work! My husband can definitely test me but I love him dearly and don't know what I would do without him. Best of luck to you as you work to get thru this bump on the road of life! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

I do love him, but I am trying to love myself at the same time. Marriage is a ton of work, especially when I am the only one trying

[tigerbelle 328]

I hate to suggest the standard cliche...but have you considered counseling as a couple? I know you are having financial difficulties, but there may be some kind of community center that offers low-cost counseling...or if you belong to some type of church, perhaps a minister or pastor could counsel you...ultimately you must do what is best for you of course...I have never been married, but I do believe that most marriages are worth saving--or at least trying to save...only you will know when you've done your best to make it work...I don't want to be nosy, but do you have children?

[ooffa511 507]

We have been to counseling on and off for years. And yes we do have children together. But all they do is see us fight. I just pawned my jewelry to save our house and then he drops this bomb. I am trying everything I can

[magpie30 187]

Marriage is hard. My husband and i have been married for 7 years and have been through hell together. He was one who lost his job at the beginning of the "recession" and still hasn't been able to find any meaningful work. It is very stressful but we talk a lot, keep communication open and always listen to the other ones feeling, even if they seem silly. Of course we have rough times, but i honestly can't imagine my life without him, he balances me, and i him. It's not perfect by any means, but we are happy. It's a very hard choice to make, but if he is not taking your feelings into consideration at all, maybe it is time to sit down and have a tough talk. " I know your not happy, but can you hang in there just till we get over this patch? Or at least have another job lined up and waiting before you quit?" kind of thing. A marriage should not be a one sided thing. from time to time yes a little bit but never in the big areas. If he has no interest in hearing you out or coming to a compromise about the situation, you will have to decide if he is still the right person for you. Has this behavior happened before? you should be one unit working together toward common goals, and supporting each other fully. If he can't be that for you, and hasn't in the past, it may be time to move on. Do not compromise your happiness, it's not fair to either of you.

[ooffa511 507]

He has done this before but I've played the role of the supportive wife. Now I'm tired of it. I said let's fix our situation and then I will support u in whatever u want to do. His answer was great, so ill just be miserable. But I'm miserable too...

[magpie30 187]

Children always make things trickier, but you can't be the mom you want to be if you are miserable in your relationship. Also remember that as we get older, we change and grow, and sometimes, we grow apart. Getting out of a situation that is making you unhappy and stressed and just miserable, may be the best thing for you. AS much as i hate to say it, love itself isn't enough. If there is no trust, or respect in my mind, it's not worth it. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and i'm always around to talk =) *hugs* Good luck!!

[ooffa511 507]

Thank u everyone for your love and support. My friends all say he is never going to change. It kills me bc I'm really trying but life is too short. I just want to be happy

[magpie30 187]

I have to agree with your friends, he is not going to change. But don't sacrifice yourself for someone who isn't even interested in trying. You've got a hot new body and a new lease on life, find someone who is willing to work as hard at the relationship as you are.

[KickRocks 163]

I say leave! It's clear that You have tried to make things work! But let's be honest it takes 2! And he seems not to be trying. I'm sorry but it seems like he needs to grow the hell up!! He has a family to care for! Why is he wanting to leave his job?! Does he not know how hard it is to find a good job!?

Me and my husband have issues but He takes care of home! I will give him that. His job closed down 3 years ago but he took another job that same week. It didn't pay like we were used to but it was a start. Now with all his raises we are making almost the same. However he hates this job with a passion! He is steady looking for another one. He has even done job interviews out of state! That's how bad he wants to change but he knows he can't just up and leave his current job and he wouldn't even if he could. I just don't understand men that don't want to take care of home! My brother in law is the same way. He always wants to change jobs and let m sister take care of everything.

Hopefully everything works out but if he leaves his Job without another one lined up he would be on his own!!

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I agree w the above posters I'm a believer of the whole marriage thing but u have tried everything and to pawn your stuff to save your house shows that u clearly have gone above and beyond .. Q does he kno you have pawn your stuff ? And if he. Knows and still is not considering keeping his job do what u have to do .. We are consider strong in so many ways plus cause we took a chance for better healthy this should be a joyful time for you ..

[lilbearzmom 584]

I will be blunt: he sounds like a loser. You could do so much better. I say dump him and find someone who shows you by his deeds and hard work how much he respects you and your family. You don't need that kind of stress.

-Kendra

[DayByDay 123]

I've always been a hard worker, but I'm ready to give up on my marriage. For the 6th time in 7 years my husband wants to leave his job. We are in a horrible financial situation. But now, I have put my foot down. Enough is enough. I said u gave to wait until we are out of our financial pickle. He basically said no. So I said I'm done. I'd rather be alone than to keep having him base these decisions solely on how he feels. I'm 30 and feel amazing since my sleeve. I'm down 118 lbs. and I have my life back, sorta. Any help from married folks would be great!! =(

I have so been in your situation. My heart goes out to you. My husband ran up a huge debt (3 times). Each time I bailed him out. I always found a way to pay it off. The fourth was the final straw. He actually wanted to pull our daughter out of Private school (it wasn't that expensive) so he could buy his toys and quit his job. He wanted to go from making a nice wage to minimum wage. I said fine, after he paid off the debt. He refused. And I moved out. I was done. So sick of having the same argument.

I can't speak to your situation, but I will say leaving him was the best thing I did for me an my daughter. I left with $200 in my pocket. Sucked up my pride and moved back in with my parents and got my degree. I still got stuck paying the bills (everything was in both our names). It took me 8 years to pay off "his" $25,000 credit card debt. But I did it. Me any my daughter are much happier for it.

Good luck to you, what ever you decide.