Anyone having problems telling others?

[SMO 193]

I know there are uninformed, thoughtless, or just mean spirited folks out there who say things about the surgery being the easy way out. I have no doubt that there are folks who will make snarky comments. I went to lunch with my secretary one day last week and saw a table full of my co-workers sitting at another table. Some of them were looking with obvious interest at my food. Lucky for me, I don't give a damn what anyone thinks. And I am blunt enough that I doubt any of them would criticize me to my face. I agree this is a choice each of us has to make. If you don't choose to share. You should not feel guilty about it. For me, it was much harder to tell my parents than it was to tell the folks at work. It took my mother meeting a sleever at the farmer's market before she came around.

[TTL 6]

All Of your comments have help me so much. I Thank everyone of you for telling me your stories and what it has helped you or maybe not in some cases... My first appointment for all this was Aug 17th 2012 and I haven't told hardly anyone at all so right now this is all I have to go to for support! I think this might be they only thing keeping me from having a nervous break down. I thank you all so much this means alot to me, This has been on my mind for a very long time, Part of me wants to tell more people just for some support, but I don't think I will have it, with my family. I do also live with skinny people and my husband is the only one that knows in this house and he don't even want to talk about it. I want to show him all the wonderful stories and process people have made and he just wants to shut down or just says ... yeah yeah that's nice. I am just a bit down I guess. Thanks again to all of you! Have a Wonderful Day!

[Super Echelon 5]

I haven't had surgery yet but telling my family was a horrible mistake, all they say are negative things and none of then have had the surgery. I also told my bestfriend who is supportive and in my corner and I told the guy I'm dating. I told him because I wanted to make sure he liked me and didn't only have a fat girl fetish. Lol

[Super Echelon 5]

I haven't had surgery yet but telling my family was a horrible mistake, all they say are negative things and none of then have had the surgery. I also told my bestfriend who is supportive and in my corner and I told the guy I'm dating. I told him because I wanted to make sure he liked me and didn't only have a fat girl fetish. Lol

[txladybug1993 31]

I've never been good at keeping secrets, so if someone asked I told. My husband has been amazingly supportive, my children tried but were scared but my mother begged me not to do it. She cried and appologized for not being a better mother and making better food choices when I was growing up. She has always been skinny and is a sweet-aholic. I had to tell her I'm 42 and I'm an adult so therefore my weight now is not her fault and remind her that my weight is genetic from my dads side of the family. My dad passed at 54 with heart issues and I did not want the same thing for me. That calmed her down a little and in the end she was supportive. As far as work goes they are all more curious than anything.

[1happyloser2b 39]

My mantra will be: I cut down my portion sizes, increased my Protein, eliminated sugars and junk food, and I walk everyday! THIS IS NOT LYING! I did omit one other fact of the matter!!! LOL! People are gonna think what they wanna think anyway! I remember my co-worker ,when she got "The Lap Band" everyone had an opinion. INCLUDING ME!!! I remember saying I wouldn't let anyone cut on me unless I had tried EVERYTHING to lose weight first! Well I am not her I don't know what her life and health have been like, I have not walked in her shoes!!! Look at me 4 years later I am having surgery to help me with this struggle!!! If I hear one more time from the few family that I have told " just have willpower!" (They are overweight too so you would think that THEY of all people would understand!!!!) I WILL SCREAM!!!! Not telling! Final answer!!

[Takingcontrol 467]

My mantra will be: I cut down my portion sizes, increased my Protein,eliminated sugars and junk food, and I walk everyday! THIS IS NOT LYING! I did omit one other fact of the matter!!! LOL! People are gonna think what they wanna think anyway! I remember my co-worker ,when she got "The Lap Band" everyone had an opinion. INCLUDING ME!!! I remember saying I wouldn't let anyone cut on me unless I had tried EVERYTHING to lose weight first! Well I am not her I don't know what her life and health have been like, I have not walked in her shoes!!! Look at me 4 years later I am having surgery to help me with this struggle!!! If I hear one more time from the few family that I have told " just have willpower!" (They are overweight too so you would think that THEY of all people would understand!!!!) I WILL SCREAM!!!! Not telling! Final answer!!

AMEN! I could've written this myself!!!

[christyrococ 4]

I have only told my husband and my kids. I had my surgery on Feb.27 I have lost 39 pounds so far I am sure everyone is saying things but I don't care and they can always wounded how I have done this. I did this for me and I did not want to know all the negative things they were going to tell me. My husband is happy with my choices and agrees with my choice of not telling anyone.

[newat52 1,612]

I want to know if anyone that has had this surgery already had a problem with telling others like family/friends that you have decided to do so? If you did tell others did it seem to help? Or did it make it seem worse like you wish you never told them at all. Thanks so much for any feedback on this matter! :-)

This is actually a hot topic that starts every week or so. It's because there are so many new folks here all the time.

It really is a personal decision for everyone. Now beware, there will be the haters both ways here. It shouldn't be but it sadly is. We are here to support each other not judge each other. There are those who's life is an "open book" and most of them are aware that it is their choice for them, and them alone and they are comfortable with it. There are those who just don't wish nor need to put their personal decisions and business about this (or anything for that matter) out for public consumption. I fall under that category. Most of us who believe this know that this is our choice for us and for us alone and we are comfortable with it.

That being said, I have been told I am "living a lie" that I "SHOULD NOT be ashamed" that I "SHOULD BE proud" that I am having this surgery and that we are "living a fake" life. Of course, none of which is true. Some of us just happen to think that our business is simply that. Our business. I guess I am old enough to know that just because someone asks me a question, I am in no way required to answer it. I was raised to respect privacy and not ask personal questions nor telling others what they SHOULD and SHOULD NOT feel. That's just me and it's right for me. I get riled when people start spouting that keeping it private means that you are ashamed and you are not proud of what you are doing to better your life. I think it's part that these days everyone's life is played out on Facebook and the younger the person, the less they value privacy. (just my humble opinion)

I guess what I am saying is do what is comfortable for YOU. It is your life and yours alone. We are all in this journey together but we often travel a different path. Your path may be different then anyone's but it's not for anyone to judge. My path may be different and it's not for anyone to judge.

[1happyloser2b 39]

LET THEM GUESS!! LET THEM BET!!! LET THEM EAT THEIR HEARTS OUT WHEN WE START MELTING AAAAWWWWAAAAAYYYYYY!!! They will NEVER really KNOW!!!!! All they can do is SPECULATE!

[1happyloser2b 39]

This is actually a hot topic that starts every week or so. It's because there are so many new folks here all the time.

It really is a personal decision for everyone. Now beware' date=' there will be the haters both ways here. It shouldn't be but it sadly is. We are here to support each other not judge each other. There are those who's life is an "open book" and most of them are aware that it is their choice for them, and them alone and they are comfortable with it. There are those who just don't wish nor need to put their personal decisions and business about this (or anything for that matter) out for public consumption. I fall under that category. Most of us who believe this know that this is our choice for us and for us alone and we are comfortable with it.

That being said, I have been told I am "living a lie" that I "SHOULD NOT be ashamed" that I "SHOULD BE proud" that I am having this surgery and that we are "living a fake" life. Of course, none of which is true. Some of us just happen to think that our business is simply that. Our business. I guess I am old enough to know that just because someone asks me a question, I am in no way required to answer it. I was raised to respect privacy and not ask personal questions nor telling others what they SHOULD and SHOULD NOT feel. That's just me and it's right for me. I get riled when people start spouting that keeping it private means that you are ashamed and you are not proud of what you are doing to better your life. I think it's part that these days everyone's life is played out on Facebook and the younger the person, the less they value privacy. (just my humble opinion)

I guess what I am saying is do what is comfortable for YOU. It is your life and yours alone. We are all in this journey together but we often travel a different path. Your path may be different then anyone's but it's not for anyone to judge. My path may be different and it's not for anyone to judge.[/quote']

6 days out how are you feeling????

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[newat52 1,612]

I have only told my husband and my kids. I had my surgery on Feb.27 I have lost 39 pounds so far I am sure everyone is saying things but I don't care and they can always wounded how I have done this. I did this for me and I did not want to know all the negative things they were going to tell me. My husband is happy with my choices and agrees with my choice of not telling anyone.

Wow! Congrats on the great loss so far! I'll be a week out tomorrow and I have lost the 8 that I gained with the surgery and as of this morning 6 from that. It's seems like it's been a steady 2 lbs each day but If tomorrow holds true and it's 2 lbs that will put me in Onederland!

It's great that you have such a great support system in your spouse. Mine has been my rock and just adds to the 10,000,001 reasons that I love him so much! :wub:

Keep up the great work! You truly inspired me today!

[newat52 1,612]

6 days out how are you feeling????

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Thanks for asking! Feeling great! I have been so lucky thus far! (knock on wood) No nausea, which was by far my biggest fear. I asked for anti nausea meds every 4 hours on the hour. Hey, they said ask for whatever you need and I needed to know I wasn't gonna puke! Physically, I'm great, not very sore and getting better each day. Not ready for a 5k yet but walking, walking, walking! I truly believe the mega Protein has helped in the healing. I feel like my insides are healing so much faster than they did after both of my c-sections almost 30 years ago. Have not had pain meds since last Friday (2 days post op) and have been keeping everything down and not much trouble getting in at least 60 grams of Protein daily. It's a full time job getting them in but very manageable.

All in all, fandamntastic!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I have been a yoyo dieter for so many years that no one even asks me about my weight loss. If anything they'll just say.. Hey you've lost weight (again)

Other than my husband and kids, I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't want to tell any one. 35lbs down and no one has said a thing.

[christyrococ 4]

Wow! Congrats on the great loss so far! I'll be a week out tomorrow and I have lost the 8 that I gained with the surgery and as of this morning 6 from that. It's seems like it's been a steady 2 lbs each day but If tomorrow holds true and it's 2 lbs that will put me in Onederland!

It's great that you have such a great support system in your spouse. Mine has been my rock and just adds to the 10' date='000,001 reasons that I love him so much! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />

Keep up the great work! You truly inspired me today! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

I have 15 pounds to go until onederland I can't wait until I get there I will be so happy. I don't know if I will keep losing weight the way I have been but I am just happy to lose weight.