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why can't i do it myself...



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The question i keep asking myself. Why do i have to resort to surgery why don't i go on weight watchers with my friend-a question she asked me when i told her i was doing my preop for the sleeve. I keep thinking i don't have that much to lose, but i do i have 140lbs to lose and if i keep going at this rate i will continue to gain. Every time i say this is it I last for a day or two and then I am back to reading even worse. But o if I would do something add drastic as the sleeve why won't i just lose weight on my own?

I know i have psych issues (depression) and i have had eating disorders all of my life but why can't i do this what is wrong with me. My quality of life sucks i can't even put on socks without getting winded and i don't want to do things with my kids because i feel so lazy and big.

Thanks for listening to my random ramblings... just angry at myself for letting it get to the point that I'm so big i need surgery.

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I had 140 lbs to lose. Knowing how I felt at my highest weight, it is a lot to lose and most people need a boost (surgery) in order to help. I'm not saying this surgery is for everyone, but if you need to lose 140 pounds, it might be a good bet.

-Kendra

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Because obesity is an illness, just like Any other illness...& requires treatment! Some people just need help, it's NOT just a matter of will power!

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Statistically, almost nobody can.

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i felt this way too. like why couldn't i just do it on my own? i felt like a failure everyday. that really wears on you. the surgery was the best thing i did. i am almost 7 weeks out now and i am so happy i did this. don't get me wrong, some days are hard but i feel like i got a restart for my eating habits and i know i would never have been able to do it without the sleeve.

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Honestly most people who struggle with this battle of the pounds can lose weight. How many times Have a lot of us on this web site lost 100 lbs plus... Only for that weight return with more..... So the losing part is not the hard part for most of us....it is keeping it off. Well with this surgery not only will you lose your wieght you will have a built in portion control... So when it comes time to maintain the wieght loss it will be easier.

This decision is not a easy one. However, if you do choose to have the surgery it will make life of much better quality! Best Wishes to you!

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Thanks for all your support just feeling a little down cause i had to defend myself to my friend tonight. She says ultimately she will support me she is just worried for me and since we are nurses we see the worst end result not the best. She also said her mothers friend just had wls and had a lot of complications but she said she had a roux en y.

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I would probably be crying right now if my family wasn't in the room after I read your post. I've been saying the same thing to myself for 2 months now but I've been so scared to say it out loud. I'm scared period about everything but I'm just realizing we have never showed more strength and courage with this decision we've made. Yes, its more extreme than going to gym and eating right but guess what...we've tried that too. We've tried fad diets, get skinny quick diets, crash diets, injections, pills, dieticians, personal trainers, etc, etc, etc! We need this. We need to be released from this bondage that we call a body. We need to know how it feels to be healthy....we deserve it. I dont know how old you are but I'll be 35 on April 10 and this is the last birthday I'm going to spend being depressed b/c I'm morbidly obese! (5'5" 275) But you have to get in your head that this is it, you're done chasing the fat person in your mind away. One thing I'm making sure I do for as long as I have to is getting a therapist that I see on a regular basis. I struggle with depression too. I was molested by my father so I know I need to address those feelings that I've tried to eat away all these years. Bottom line is we've got to look at this blessing as a new chance at life...a new life. I've let one slip out of my fingers I can't let a second one. I'm committing... fear and all.

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I'm sorry I'm on my 3rd day of my pre-op diet and I am on an emotional roller coaster!!! :)

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Truthfully, our society is set up in a way that promotes obesity. food companies add chemicals, crops are genetically altered, serving sizes at restaurants are huge. There are a million factors at play in obesity, and most are proving that it is nearly impossible to rally against it.

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I heard the same thing from two of my friends (both over weight). One of them said her moms friend had it about a month ago and had to go back in the hospital due to complications (but shes 20 years older than me and smoked for like 30 years). And my coworker says her aunt is a bariatric nurse and told her about all the complications. I just changed the subject bc I don't need to hear that crap 2 weeks pre-op...I'm scared enough. Plus ive done my research. But I'll be interested to hear what they have to say 6 months from now. I won't be surprised if they are asking for my Dr's name and number!

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Blualert-thank you for the support and good luck on your journey as well. I am 32 years old 5ft8in 285lbs. Because i'm tall everyone is like"you're not that big" I have hid it well for to long. I told my friend think of all the pregnancy related weight issues you have like not being able to put on socks or walk from the parking garage to work without getting winded. Sitting in the seats at disney on ice and they hurt you because you are so big. Having to take breaks shaving your legs because it is to hard. I look forward to being done with all of that. I am done being enslaved by this fat body.

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There's actually studies that say 90% or something crazy like that will fail at losing weight naturally. It's not hard to lose but it's near impossible to keep off. You're not alone and you're not a failure. The fat cells we've accumulated bever go away the just shrink. When they are starved and shrunken, they release a hormone that sends a signal to your brain that says, " hey! We need replenished here!" Your appetite increases and here comes the weight again!

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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