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People dont get it!



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I had plans today to do some window shopping with a friend...well she buy some food for me,a huge fries,sprite and a chicken salad sandwich so i ate,but only a 1/4 of the sandwich and maybe 3 fries she was looking at me like, u are not going to eat what buy for u, then she told me u are getting very picky with food...i was like r u kidding me, why u do not understand i cant eat anymore more like i was before i explain too many times and people just dont get it!!!!my husband just said " they r just trying to trick you " that happends to you too??i dont know what to think :(

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Wow, that is rough. I'm sorry, people won't get it, I had it happen to me and I am not sleeved yet, but I had people trying to sabatoge my weight loss when I lost about 45 lbs. You know what you were told and what you can eat. I think you were very polite about it and ate what she gave you.

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It hasn't happened to me yet, but then only 4 people know about my surgery. I believe what happened to you is just - people don't think. They forget about the things that they can't see or aren't reminded of.

I did it to myself pre-surgery. I was food planning for post-op meals, and my friend stopped me and said, "You don't need that much, you have to plan for your new stomach."

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I had plans today to do some window shopping with a friend...well she buy some food for me,a huge fries,sprite and a chicken salad sandwich so i ate,but only a 1/4 of the sandwich and maybe 3 fries she was looking at me like, u are not going to eat what buy for u, then she told me u are getting very picky with food...i was like r u kidding me, why u do not understand i cant eat anymore more like i was before i explain too many times and people just dont get it!!!!my husband just said " they r just trying to trick you " that happends to you too??i dont know what to think :(

Yeah I don't know if your friend is "Thick Madame" or not but have you ever heard the old saying misery loves company? Sometimes people like to sabotage you because they want you to be like you were. Lots of people don't understand why we would do such a thing to our bodies they think it's insane what we have gone through and say things like "girl I never would have did that to myself"! But you know what that's thet problem and they need to get over it you did what you did because you wanted change.

And if she take it so personal because she bought you the food - girl I would give her the money back and tell I got it don't buy my food next time! :)

This is a touch subject for me because I've been there but - it usually my friends who are still obese and trying to do it as they say the "natural" way! Whateva more power too you but why you still going up and down and in and out of weight loss I have arrived and loving life!

Girl don't trip! Do you and do what you need to do to stay on your journey!

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I had plans today to do some window shopping with a friend...well she buy some food for me' date='a huge fries,sprite and a chicken salad sandwich so i ate,but only a 1/4 of the sandwich and maybe 3 fries she was looking at me like, u are not going to eat what buy for u, then she told me u are getting very picky with food...i was like r u kidding me, why u do not understand i cant eat anymore more like i was before i explain too many times and people just dont get it!!!!my husband just said " they r just trying to trick you " that happends to you too??i dont know what to think :([/quote']

If they aint have the surgery they wont get it at all....nd its crazy

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I fine that most people understand but there are people that do things just to push you. I have had friends send me pictures of food. I also have found the bigger the person is the more they hate that I had the surgery.

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Good for you for being strong though and only eating what you knew you should and not embarrassing her.

Next time YOU buy and show her what a healthy portion looks like, LOL

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I fine that most people understand but there are people that do things just to push you. I have had friends send me pictures of food. I also have found the bigger the person is the more they hate that I had the surgery.

I encourage people to post food pics. I remind them that I have alot of old clothes I can no longer use ;)

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now i just wonder if she just was jealous about

my new me (she is just 105 pounds)...but the thing is she is no the only one it happend with almost all my "friends"... lol FRIENDS ohhh well maybe they are my new HATERS..but thanks to every one i really found support on you guys ;)

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now i just wonder if she just was jealous about

my new me (she is just 105 pounds)...but the thing is she is no the only one it happend with almost all my "friends"... lol FRIENDS ohhh well maybe they are my new HATERS..but thanks to every one i really found support on you guys ;)

Lol I aint talkin to my family of my 110 pld weight so u no.. dont mind havin a hater.

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One rule I try to follow and remind myself. Put a mirror up to this situation. This has nothing to do with you. She may be a great friend but she has her own issues (like most of us) but her coping mechinism is putting it on others. She hasn't searched for her own answers or ways to solve her issues. Remind yourself you are in control. My favorite is "OK who is driving this bus??" Put yourself in that seat from now on. It feels great to be up front and riding high!!

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They know you can't have those things and are intentionally buying those horrible foods for you. So many people have already hit it on the nail...sabotage, jealousy, envious...you are going to be a threat. Being bigger then them you were none of those things because for some reason skinny ppl automatically assume they look better (go figures). But now that you have taken charge of your weight issue, you best believe that they will sabotage your efforts. Recognize the wolf in sheep clothing for what it is... a darn wolf! Call them out on it and let them know that you do not appreciate it.

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Maybe your friends just need more time to absorb the change and accept the new reality. I imagine in the past you enjoyed shopping and eating out together, perhaps without worrying about calories. Maybe if you continue to explain and stand firm on what you will and wont eat, they will get it and stop trying to feed you inapropriate food. I hate you see you lose your friends over this. Congratulations on staying strong!

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She offered you a standard american lunch. Standard overweight american lunch. The typical skinny person can eat that much if they want. We can't. Until they've been in our shoes they won't get it. I was sleeved 6 weeks ago. Hubby has told me to stop going to the grocery store. I keep buying the quantity we would have eaten prior (albeit healthier). Our fridge is bursting. If we are a little slow, others will be even slower with understanding. Most friends are indeed friends!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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