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I'm a bit of a hermit these days. It's really hard for me to even go outside looking and feeling how I do. I don't do things with my friends, love life is nonexistent... Did anybody's social life improve after surgery & weight loss?

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Yup mine did! but I've also made other changes such as getting rid of Facebook. I found myself being more active and communicating more and wanting to make friends in person and not online. I've been attending more military functions and meeting other wives and just enjoying life and not living vicariously through my facebook "friends". In a couple of months I will be attending a military ball and I'm so looking forward to wearing a dress. I'm also a more active mom because my daughter is now enrolled in a all star cheerleading team and I've been meeting the other parents. Life has been great since having weight loss surgery and getting rid of facebook. :)

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Yup. I have way more energy so while I do enjoy hanging out at home, I mostly never went anywhere because I was tired and listless. Now I have tons of energy so I am up and out. I also started dating, which I hadn't been doing for a few years. This surgery is one giant step toward a new life. :)

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Thanks ladies!! That's really inspiring and hopeful news. I just applied the 2nd time to insurance and am nervous and excited, and a bit more hopeful :)

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Absolutely!

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Yup. I have way more energy so while I do enjoy hanging out at home' date=' I mostly never went anywhere because I was tired and listless. Now I have tons of energy so I am up and out. I also started dating, which I hadn't been doing for a few years. This surgery is one giant step toward a new life. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />[/quote']

So how is the dating going, if you don't mind me asking?

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Dating is going okay! Lots of head issues to deal with. I met a very nice man that I've been seeing for about a month. i was fat for a long time so it's been hard to wrap my brain around the fact that someone finds me attractive now. I'm down about 50 lbs from my highest, the smallest I have been in years. He didn't know me when I was heavier, but he's dropped a lot of weight recently so he gets it. Thankful for that, because dating makes me CRAZY. Like totally neurotic and vulnerable and in the middle of all of that, I am dropping lbs and inches and it's messing with my MIND.

The biggest thing to deal with has been my head because I FELT so fat and unattractive, I really believed that no one would ever like me. He says he would have dated me when I was 273. I told him he was crazy. :wub:

The BEST part is that I love what I see in the mirror, and I like having people smile at me instead of walk right past me. I was tired of being invisible, having men look past me to see and talk to my (thinner) friends. I was tired of blending in with the wallpaper. I wanted to sparkle, and now some of that shine is coming out.

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Dating is going okay! Lots of head issues to deal with. I met a very nice man that I've been seeing for about a month. i was fat for a long time so it's been hard to wrap my brain around the fact that someone finds me attractive now. I'm down about 50 lbs from my highest' date=' the smallest I have been in years. He didn't know me when I was heavier, but he's dropped a lot of weight recently so he gets it. Thankful for that, because dating makes me CRAZY. Like totally neurotic and vulnerable and in the middle of all of that, I am dropping lbs and inches and it's messing with my MIND.

The biggest thing to deal with has been my head because I FELT so fat and unattractive, I really believed that no one would ever like me. He says he would have dated me when I was 273. I told him he was crazy. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />

The BEST part is that I love what I see in the mirror, and I like having people smile at me instead of walk right past me. I was tired of being invisible, having men look past me to see and talk to my (thinner) friends. I was tired of blending in with the wallpaper. I wanted to sparkle, and now some of that shine is coming out.[/quote']

That's awesome! He sounds like a good guy. I think just having the experience of being a heavy person makes you more compassionate. And in my opinion, an even better better half :) I hope it works out!

But oh my gosh I can really really identify with the head stuff. I tried getting back in the dating game a few months back and my self-esteem and confidence were so shot that everything ended up a mess. But I learned so much from it.

It's really heartening and inspiring to hear how you're taking everything on like this and finding your confidence again! I hope I'm able to do the same.

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Yeah I just couldn't do it when I was heavier. I really hated myself, i was depressed and because I hated me I couldn't understand how anyone else could feel any different, so any issue we had boiled down to 'well its cause I'm fat.' IT really wasn't... it was because I hated myself and I was self conscious and that's hard for a person to take, day in and day out. I stopped dating for a long time.

I told my guy that I am kind of neurotic and a little crazy and he would have to just shake his head and hug me, don't try to understand me. LOL.

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    • Doughgurl

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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