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Hi im 25 years old and im 320lb. Im a single mom of a wonderful five year 0ld and i have been obeasted for about 10 year and im so tired of it i have tried every thing form liquid diets to doctored orderd pills. and nothing i believe my family has fell apart due to my weight even my son say he wished i was a shinny mom because i dosn't like me big and fat. I go out with my friend mind you all my friends are small i fell like iam a out sider like i don't belong. i just want to go home and hide i haven't been out on a date who knows when and i haven't had sex in god know when and when i do i fell so uncomfortable because im wondering if he is looking at my hang belly or my lumpy ass or the layer of theigh so i end up faking it just so i can put my clothes on and get the hell out of there so i fell that the band will help me out alot.:help:

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Hello Jessica and welcome to LBT. I'm glad you found us.

So many of us have stories similar to yours. If you explore different threads you'll read of how people became so desperate and discouraged after years of being fat and the discrimination and feelings of not fitting in that goes with it.

Read everything you can here. Check out the Regional USA threads for information about your own area, maybe local doctors etc.

But most of all, keep posting. We're a friendly and supportive lot and most of us have been where you are right now.

All the best

Devana

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Jessica---welcome, we are glad to have you here, I think you need us. Many of us have had similar feelings to what you describe...being obese, morbidly obese in my case, was very depressing. I seldom let it show, I was in a happy marriage, but the list of things I let my weight get in the way of, was a long one.

Being banded has been a god send to me. I am not hungry. I eat, I just eat a lot less than I ever would have been able to live on without losing control due to hunger. For the first time I have true hope and faith that this is going to work!!! Going into the multitudes of diets I tried, I always had that doubt, because in one way or another I always felt deprived. I don't now. I can eat pretty much anything, I just don't care to eat very often, and when I do, since I am not starving, I am able to keep a level head, and make wise food choices. However when I want something bad for me, I often have it....I just can't eat enough of it to derail my progress.

Daytime on LBT is a little slower, come evening when most of the regulars get off of work, post again, and you will have support rolling in! There are a lot of people here, both married and single, looking and not looking!!! The amount of support and friendship I have found at this site, is impossible to tell you.

I am sorry your little guy has hurt your feelings. He is young, he just is brutally honest. If you find a way to be banded, you can work on becoming the thin Mommy he thinks he wants!!! But if you don't....relax, you are the Mommy, he will always love you!!!

Please feel free to ask any questions you might have. Look through and read up on all the different threads---it is a great site--and we are glad you found us!!!

Kat

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Hi Jessica,

I can't say anything more than the other two have said. You'll find what you need here for sure! Many of us have experienced what you're going through and whilst that doesn't make it change, it does mean that you can get past it and start to have a healthy life.

Welcome to LBT. I look forward to getting to know you.

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thank you for your thread. I have found a band doc and im in the process in get a consultaion apt. But my insurance dose not cover the change of life program. Its going to cost me $300. And I'm not working right now but i believe something will come through for me i really need this surgery my mind body and soul.

Jessica---welcome, we are glad to have you here, I think you need us. Many of us have had similar feelings to what you describe...being obese, morbidly obese in my case, was very depressing. I seldom let it show, I was in a happy marriage, but the list of things I let my weight get in the way of, was a long one.

Being banded has been a god send to me. I am not hungry. I eat, I just eat a lot less than I ever would have been able to live on without losing control due to hunger. For the first time I have true hope and faith that this is going to work!!! Going into the multitudes of diets I tried, I always had that doubt, because in one way or another I always felt deprived. I don't now. I can eat pretty much anything, I just don't care to eat very often, and when I do, since I am not starving, I am able to keep a level head, and make wise food choices. However when I want something bad for me, I often have it....I just can't eat enough of it to derail my progress.

Daytime on LBT is a little slower, come evening when most of the regulars get off of work, post again, and you will have support rolling in! There are a lot of people here, both married and single, looking and not looking!!! The amount of support and friendship I have found at this site, is impossible to tell you.

I am sorry your little guy has hurt your feelings. He is young, he just is brutally honest. If you find a way to be banded, you can work on becoming the thin Mommy he thinks he wants!!! But if you don't....relax, you are the Mommy, he will always love you!!!

Please feel free to ask any questions you might have. Look through and read up on all the different threads---it is a great site--and we are glad you found us!!!

Kat

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Jessica, I just chatted with you in the chatroom. I'm so glad you are here. The band will change your life! You take care of your baby but most important Jess, take care of yourself. You know how to get ahold of me. If you need to talk......email me!

jimboss01@yahoo.com

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Jessica, I really want to encourage you to keep your chin up. Like your son, I was once a child of a severely obese mother. My mother tried every diet imaginable and we never understood why. We loved our momma just the way she was even if we hurt her feelings from time to time. Back in the 80's, my mother died trying to alleviate her hip pain from being obese. I think she gave up on trying to lose the weight because back then, there werent many options. So, be thankful that today there are many wonderful choices, like the Lap Band. And hang in there, have faith that life happens the way it is supposed to, and give your son a HUGE hug, because like Ms Kat said, he does love you no matter what!

Good luck!

Stephanee

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:hungry:thank you soooo much. I know my son wants the best for me and i think he can sense that i'm unhappy and thats why i have decided to get the band. I'll have the energy to do more thing with him and i know he'll like that i know kids can be mean so i don't want him to get into fights at school defending me. Thank you for your msg. Have a great holiday filled family, love, and happieness

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Hi Jessica,

I just found this place too. I am in a very similar place right now. Although I am married. But I have a 6 year old son who has made comments to me about my weight. It hurts. At the time I just sort of got through it, gently told him not to be rude etc, but later the words come back and I felt like a failure as a mother. I think I will get the lap band done. I have read lots now and most of it is positive. I know there is some risk like slippage and erosion (I am not quite sure about that one yet) and some people have a hard time getting a good "fill" level, but otherwise I am reading about people who have lost weight and can move on with their lives.

I hope we can both find it in ourselves to either feel good about us the way we are or find the resourses to change it.

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Welcome to LBT!

You have found a great place to talk to others who are, or who have been, in your situation. For some us, it was easy to get approved, and for others, it was difficult. Whichever way it is for you, stick it out, and find a way. I think after you've read lots and lots of stuff, you'll find that if you can use your band as a tool to help you...and not push your luck with it or rush it...you will have a tool to help you for the long run.

I have been banded for 16 months now, and have lost 75 pounds. I think that's about 4.5 pounds a month, on the average. It hasn't been that steady...some months I didn't lose anything at all. I learned to accept that.

Please start right now, by making just one tiny little change in whatever you are doing. Even if it's just making sure you are drinking more Water each day. It will help you, no matter what. You will be taking charge of your health, and that will make you feel better. Just one little change.

Good luck, and come back and visit with us!

Cindy

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Jessica,

This is a place to sound off about anything. We are here for you.

Good luck to you on your band adventure. My band has given hope for keeping it off too.

edie

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I am a single mom with two kids (3yr, 1yr) I am doing this for them also...they are the light of my life...pitty about their father but that is another story...So you have come to the right place and they (and YOU) will never regret the important decision you have made to do something about your weight. just you wait very soon as you start feeling great about yourself and your weight starts melting the flood gates will open and it will literally be raining men!!!

Congrats and good luck

:o

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Jessica, you will do fine. I believe you will have a new life after lapband surgery. The weight loss takes some time but it is worth it. Good luck to you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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