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Social side effects for being thinner...



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Now don't get me wrong, I am SO happy with where I am and my decision. I would do it again in a heart beat, but in my situation I am completely socially inept especially when it comes to dating. It SUCKS. I have NO IDEA what i'm doing, but what is worse is the telling someone it is not going to work out. I'm 24 years old and I have no idea how to do it, granted I just did. Before it wasn't a problem, I was alot more shy I guess and didn't put myself out there so relationships weren't an option now it is. It's difficult to break out of your comfort zone and just go for it just jump into a relationship and letting someone get to know you. Bleh guess I just needed to vent, but also thought it was an interesting topic. What other "side effects" have you found? Good or bad.

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I think I"ve been lucky. I never got fat enough to really suffer socially, and I've had my group of friends for 25 years now, I went to school with my girlfriends. I'm not the most social butterfly in the room but I'm not socially inept either, I have a newer group of friends too that I made since I had babies, and am pretty active socially. Life was good before banding and its good now. I never really held back, I've got plenty of self confidence, lol. I'm a basketball mum and a football mum and a daycare mum and I really cant go to the shops without stopping 100 times to chat to someone I know.

Thank god I dont have to date though. I've never done it, I met my DH when I was 16.

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newly divorced here and believe me dating sucks no matter if you're young or old. i think it is harder when you have baggage and I own a full luggage set:) breaking up is never easy but stringing a guy/gal along just so you're not along is not cool. before you know it you're married and miserable. anyway enough of my venting.

good luck.

ana

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Well, I am not an expert in dating, but I recently remarried after being divorced for several years. When I decided to place my personal ad, I said in the ad that I was a woman of substance, built for comfort not speed, and was not interested in wasting mine or their time if they were not interested in finding a long-term relationship. They knew up front that I had a young son. At this stage of the game, I am too old be play coy and waste my time. In fact, my new husband read my ad and thought I would be fun to be with....he he, he's right! We just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary last month. I have usually been up front with the guys I dated - I think they appreciated that. Sure, it stings a bit at first, but I never was any good at prolonging the agony. IMHO, I think I would rather know up front before investing any time or feelings in a relationship that is not working out. Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Rachel

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The big social effect that I have noticed is that men pay more attention to me. I guess that's pretty normal, but I noticed it in men that I already knew. Like men that I worked around. They weren't rude to me before, but maybe they never went out of their way to say hello when I was fat, but now that I'm not they always smile and say hello. I always said if I ever got thin that I would have a t-shirt printed that said "If you didn't talk to me when I was fat, don't talk to me now!" Isn't that bad? I haven't gotten the shirt!

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I met my x when I was 16 so I have never dated as such too...but our marriage ended last year when I discovered my x had an ongoing affair with another woman for the entire time we had been married... So now I am back on the hunt but with two children it is hard at best...I am trying my hand now at online dating cause i find it always easy to present yourself in a certain way through written word first before having to meet them. I am totally honest and totally cool about the whole dating thing if I find my man then great...if I don't...I am living a very fulfilled life regardless: loosing weight, raising my two children, and working on an exciting project... HELL I dont need a man but on the off chance that one might need me I thought I'd put myself out there!

:)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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