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Here's my unusual story as to why I'm here



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Hello all-

I had a lap-band for 3 years and was fairly successful with it. I lost about 68lbs of the 100 that I wanted to lose but always had issues with it. I was happy that it kept the weight off but I found myself always be throwing up. Right before Christmas I got horrible reflux and was having a hard time keeping things down. I went to my surgeon who immediately unfilled me some. As I was about to leave his office the pain became almost unbearable and he sent me to the hospital for an immediate Upper GI. As it turned out, my band had slipped. He then took the rest of the Fluid out of my band at the hospital and scheduled me for an upper endoscope on Monday (Christmas Eve). It was decided that the band would need to be fixed or removed. I didn't really want to lose my band so I asked if the Gastric Sleeve was possible. Now keep in mind I knew nothing really about it except that it was the new thing on the block that was replacing the band. I had a BMI of 32 and was pretty sure that my insurance company wouldn't pay for it anyways so I was just asking. When I talked to the bariatric coordinator she said that I would need to go through the 6 month program again and then have the surgery. I had to get my gallbladder out last year and ended up with thrush and decided no more surgery after the band was fixed. I only had 40lbs to get to goal and I could do it on my own. When I was discussing the surgery with my husband I mentioned that I wish I had gotten the sleeve rather than the band but it wasn't being offered. Well on January 4th I went in for surgery. The surgery was supposed to last an hour or so. Three hours later and my husband was out of his mind because I was still in surgery. My surgeon came out to tell him that he had to clean up a lot of scar tissue, fix another hiatal hernia and that the band had created a hole in my stomach so the band could not be be saved. I guess what happened next was my husband asked him if he could do the gastric sleeve. Keep in mind I didn't say, "hey, if he can do a sleeve have him do it" I woke up expecting to either still have a port or my band gone. Well my port was gone and my surgeon say's "you got your wish, you're sleeved" I was in surgery for over 6 hours and too drugged out to really comprehend the whole thing. I had no idea what a gastric sleeve really involved. I was sent home with the instructons of drink 1oz of Protein an hour and 64oz of Water. I got thrush again and ended up back in the ER after a week from dehydration and a ct scan because I looked and felt like death. I had no idea they were checking for a leak because I had no idea about leaks. I had to come to this site to find out what had been done to me. Keep in mind I'm an analyst for a living. I researched the band for 6 months before I did it. This has been hard on me emotionally and definitely a challenge to my marriage because I trusted people to look out for my well-being while I'm not in control. I think both felt they were doing what was best for me but I had no say in the matter. Now I've been scared to death about complications so this site has been both helpful and scary. I'm learning everything after the fact so i'm going to be greatful for all the advice. I know my surgeon has never done this before and I expressed my concern about what happened but in the end I can't go back. I have no choice but to adjust. I've already lost 17lbs so it's been a major change in the way I eat and look. I will definitely be checking to see whatever information I can get from everyone. I guess the moral of the story is to make sure everyone understand your wishes. This was not life-saving surgery so I'm not sure why the decision was made without me but in the future I will express exactly what I want to happen unless it's to save my life. Just glad others have had this revision that I can relate to especially any who had the revision the same day. Thanks-

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I wish I could have had the revision the same day and I wouldn't have gained 75lbs waiting to heal and be sleeved. You're lucky! I was too sick to have it the same day.. Or even same year.

I am now sleeved and couldn't be happier

Good luck!

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That sounds scary. I am still banded after 10 years and I fear that I may have complications. The band did not work (for. Lot of reasons) and I am still not sure if I want a new procedure or just a removal of the band. I am not sure if I read your post correctly but did you mention that this is the first sleeve he did, aside from the other obvious issues surrounding your case. This is scary, is this a regular surgeon or someone who specializes in bariatrics?

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He is a bariatric and general surgeon. He did my lapband and also took out my gallbladder last year. I was definitely not his first band. He pretty much does sleeves instead of lapband anymore unless someone requests it. I was just surprised he thought my stomach could handle all that in one day. Right now I can't say I'm feeling lucky. Just nervous until I feel out of the woods.

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Your story IS an unusual one! I feel badly for you, because a major decision was made for you without your consent, and I feel badly for your husband because he thought he was doing what you would want but he was wrong so he probably feels horrible. Can't say I feel badly for the surgeon though, because he really should've known better....

I can only imagine how you're feeling. If it were me, I would seek some counseling because something like this would shake me to the foundation.

Chances are though, that after recovering from the band removal/repair (ay yi yi that sounds like a mess and thank god you got through that) chances are that you would've done your research and ended up wanting the *sleeve* in the long run, but it would've been YOUR decision. And you would've at least been mentally prepared for it. That wasn't fair for the decision to have been made without you (major understatement).

At this point, you need to concentrate on your recovery. Try not to live in fear, because while people say that worrying doesn't change the outcome, I think it CAN have a negative affect your healing. Be cautious while you're healing, follow the guidelines, and try to stay positive. And it wouldn't hurt to talk to a counselor.

I don't presume to know you, your husband, or your marriage, but try to find a way to forgive him. Carrying that burden won't do anyone good.

Best of luck to you.

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That's crazy!!!! I wish you all the success! Wow!

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Thanks so much. The husband and I have had some conversations and I know he meant to do it for the right reasons. We've been through a lot worse so no fear of divorce unless I get so hot that I get a new boy toy (I'm 42 so actually that doesn't sound appealing). I figure it at least makes him run to the grocery store when I need something to puree and don't have it. Luckily I already have a therapist so the next appointment is going to be quite a chat.

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Well, however it happened, your stomach needed to be repaired from the damage the band caused. The gastric sleeve is a safe option for your continued weight loss and you should not have to worry about the procedure beyond getting through the various stages of your new nutritional guidelines. I suggest you pick up a handbook for VSG patients, many are available thru Amazon.< /p>

Many of us who have had no complications now realize this is the best choice we could have made in regard to our health. I feel incredible these days and I have strength and stamina. I'm closer to goal than I have been in decades.

Of course, your husband thought he was doing what you wanted, and you know what, someday I have a feeling you will be thanking him for having your best interest at heart.

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Did you sign a consent form which stated you had been informed of the benefits, risks, complications and/or outcomes of a sleeve? If you did not it is considered ASSAULT.

I would definitely discuss your lack of informed consent with your doctor, perhaps demand that there us no out of pocket for you and that he pays for counselling to come to terms with what has happened. Unless it is life threatening your husband cannot give consent for your surgeon to perform anything. I would also demand he absorbs the costs of follow up care eg. Dietitian etc as he has forced you into a situation you have has no control over.

Whether u wanted a sleeve or not is besides the point - someone performed surgery on you without your input regardless if his intentions your surgeon would WELL know this is not ok.

I am an RN and this is not OK.

Be kind to you now, work out what u need and want to come to terms with this and use it to the best you can. X

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Wow - let me say, as a nurse, that is crazy. It also smells of all kinds of legal issues. They sleeved you without having you sign a consent form? Wow. just wow.

I had a band too so I am familiar with all that drama, but I had it removed and waited almost 2 years to have surgery again. You can't get your stomach back so I suggest you embrace it wholeheartedly, but I can certainly understand your shock. That would leave my head spinning. Did your husband think that you wanted them to do that?

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It was very crazy. It's funny that I haven't gotten a bill from the surgeon. Insurance completely covered the hospital which was one of my concerns. I'm dealing with the fact that it can't be changed but I will always feel that this was not ethically correct for him to do. I am less angry now that I can at least eat soft foods but every day is a struggle as to how much my life has changed. I haven't even lost weight for 3 weeks so it really seems extreme for 20lbs of loss. I'm only 20 lbs from my goal weight so it is probably going to be hard to get that last 20 off no matter what. I feel bad for complaining when so many people are excited for this journey but I wasn't prepared and still mourning my old life. Just glad I'm starting to adapt to this new one. This site has helped a lot. I know if something does go wrong that I would consider legal action since the only consent was for things that could go wrong. Not optional stuff. I think I'd have a pretty good case...lol. I have a good relationship with my surgeon, even with this drama so I want to keep him on my side so I haven't pushed the issue but discussed my concerns. I've had two CTs since the surgery so I think he's being cautious knowing he may have trouble if something comes up. I do appreciate others understanding me being upset with this. My husband is supportive but also thinks I need to 'get past it' faster. I hope in 6 months this will be my life and I won't be so resentful.

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Oh and I told my husband that if I had to do it all over again I would have probably got the sleeve not the band. I think he took that the wrong way. I didn't mean if they couldn't fix the band I'd do it. He only tries to make me happy so I think he just wasnt thinking about anything else.

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That is a crazy story and I am so sorry for what you're going through. You mentioned that you feel bad for complaining when this is what so many of us want, but that isn't fair to you. I agree with previous posters, this was assault, and completely illegal!! And I think we all understand how horrifying it would be to wake up and realize that someone altered our body forever, without our consent. Yes, this is something that most of us here have either had or are working toward having, but we are making the CHOICE to do this. You had that choice taken away from you. So please don't feel bad for complaining. Your situation is very unique and anyone who is offended by you complaining, clearly lacks empathy!

The only thing I would add, is that if you want to leave your options open for legal action later (even if only in the event of complications), you should seriously consider switching surgeons now. By continuing to return to this surgeon who performed such a serious surgery without your consent, you may be implying agreement with his decision, just by returning to him. It's kind of like if you wanted to sue for a bad haircut... your suit loses a ton of weight if you tipped them... does that make sense? lol

And, I can only imagine the betrayal you must feel. But if you believe your husband was really trying to carry out what he thought your wishes were, I'd let him off the hook. If you forgive him, you have to truly forgive him. if you can't forgive him, then you need to move on. Staying and keeping it alive will only eat away at your relationship and it sounds like you really love him and don't want that.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through. Best wishes adjusting, I know it won't be easy, but hopefully this was the right path for you, even if it came about under such awful circumstances.

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Thanks so much for the support. My husband is a wonderful guy and after almost 18 years of marriage I know this was just a bump in the road. I have forgiven my him because my surgeon should have said that he couldn't do it and that I could always have it in the future.

It's hard to switch because he's the only practice in my town. I've had to go twice because of complications to him because he knows my situation the best. A lot of bariatric surgeons won't take you on in my situation so it's hard to find a new one. My biggest fear was a leak because I had no idea about that stuff until I read it here. I am someone who will research forever so I really felt lost when thrown into the situation. I'm feeling more myself now but it's taken almost 2 months. I think reading about everyone makes me feel better because so many things are positive. I am glad to get rid of the band and I guess I won't have to worry about gaining back all the weight I lost so that is something good too.

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Wow, that's kinda crazy! Everything happens for a reason. All you can do now is move forward. Read as much as you can about VSG, to catch yourself up. Take extra good care of yourself! Main thing, is to relax, anxiety makes everything worse. Best of luck!

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