Hi all. I'm new here to the forum. I'm just graduated the Tufts "Can Change" program and am finally finding out my surgery date on the 7th. I'm so excited! I was wondering how many of you kept your surgery a secret? So far I've told my family, my very best friend and my boyfriend. I was just wondering how others handled their situation.

Thanks in advance!

If I am not mistaken. Its state law for a person having surgery to have another person accompany them while in surgery.

She's having it done in Mexico..... they don't have the same laws as us.

I have told my husband, our 4 children, my mom and my 2 BFF.... however my mother has told everyone even though I tell her not to and its my choice who knows. She said my brother had a right to know... I am not telling because its my life and my choice. I don't need other peoples opinions and I am tired of people saying "its the easy way out" I was always skinny but after having our triplets my weight got out of control. They are now 10 and I am tired of the yo yo dieting... I just want only positive people around me...

I work in a surgery center and when I mentioned I was thinking about it, nobody had anything positive to say. "You're not heavy enough, your insurance won't cover it" or "Why would you want to be that extreme" or that's just crazy, don't do it". Since then I have seen my surgeon and I am doing all the pre-op things that need to be done. I have NUT and psych this week. Only my husband and college aged kids are aware. They are concerned for me because of the actual surgery but very supportive. No room for negativity. I love my daughter's reaction... she said "Good for you Mom!" She went onto say that after years of doing everything for everybody, I am finally doing something for myself and I deserve this!! And after all the negative comments I an NOT having the surgery where I work!!!

Well thanks the responses! I bought my boots to wear for my bday tomorrow but I guess I have to switch it up

I told a close friend while I was still researching/deciding and asked her not to tell anyone. A month or so later she let it slip out that she told a mutual friend so that nipped it in the bud for me! After that I have only discussed this with my family. I'm telling everyone I work with that I have a hernia-- which is a true statement. If I get asked down the road about my weight loss, I plan to say that I got the hernia due to being overweight- also true- and that I am on a medical program to lose weight- also true. I get enough negativity from my DH about doing this that I am not interested in hearing anyone else's opinions at this point about what I should do for myself.

I told immediate family and handfull of friends. It's personal for me, and I just wanted a few people to support me. I asked them not to tell anyone.

So.....last night we played Bunco - a group of 8 of us who get together about once a month. 3 of the people are my cousins/close friends, who know. The rest of them don't know, and they were very complimentary on my weight loss, but REALLY wanted to know how I am doing it. I was very uncomfortable with the questioning. I gave short answers, tried to change the subject, but they kept bringing it back up. They were not trying to be mean or invasive, they just want to know the secret to weight loss so they can try it too! For a bit, I considered just telling them, but then we would have to keep talking about it, so I didn't. I know they would tell other people, and then I woud be the topic of conversation - the thing I want to avoid.

All this brings a thought to mind. Why is it when people ask a question, we (or me, at least) feel we are obligated to answer at all, let alone truthfully? I wish I knew a nice way to say mind your own business without offending people.

I kept mine a secret until i got to my destination (myrtle beach south carolina---from NJ) Then I posted a picture of me before my Endoscopy and told everyone that my "vacation" is a "surgication" and I was going to become the skinny b***h i've always wanted to be. So, everyone knew instead of everyone bombarding me as I post pictures and saying How are you losing the weight?" I wasn't sure until that moment that I wanted to tell everyone. But, I'm so glad I did.

I always find it funny when people hound you for answers on how you lost weight and innevitably ( at least in my experience) when you tell them, the response is usually something like "oh I could never do that" or feel the need to either approve or disprove your method. What about something like "exactly the opposite way I gained it...portion control, more exercise and really watching my sugar intake." That's sensible and boring enough that they will likely drop it after that.

Mine is a secret. Someone at work just told me, "you look like you're getting smaller... Are you doing anything?"

Yes- I chose to keep private. Only my Mom and surgeon know.

I've told no one but my husband and the head of HR. And I only told her because she has access to everyone's files and needed to give her the letter from my doctor's office. Little did I know the letter would not mention anything specific. As far as everyone else, I might tell 2 friends post-op. I don't feel like being the "wls expert" among my family & friends nor do I want to have everyone watching and judging what I eat and how the weight loss is going.

My husband and best friend (which had gastric bypass a year ago) are the only ones that will ever know.

Finally had "the talk" about the surgery with my Husband. He didn't bat an eye and was instantly supportive. He said he wanted me to be happy. He is the only one I plan on telling. But it means the world to me that I got the thumbs up from my boo. I'm going to love this man forever.

What r u telling your bosses?

I am currently looking for work. I'm not sure what to do if I get offered a job. There is apart of me hoping I'll get offered a job I can start after my week or two recovery.

Im on a need-to-know basis. Immediate family' date=' close friends. I think eventually everyone will ask you how you lost the weight...[/quote']

I aggree !