Hi all. I'm new here to the forum. I'm just graduated the Tufts "Can Change" program and am finally finding out my surgery date on the 7th. I'm so excited! I was wondering how many of you kept your surgery a secret? So far I've told my family, my very best friend and my boyfriend. I was just wondering how others handled their situation.

Thanks in advance!

I have not had the surgery yet, but have only told my husband and my hairdresser (lol... but only because she had gastric bypass 7 years ago, and has kept every bit of her weight off). I don't plan on telling anyone else - I don't need the judgement, and don't feel that I need to defend my decision to anyone - it's not their struggle. I did a 12-step program about a year ago (didn't tell many people about that either) where I totally gave up sugar and flour. Lost a bunch of weight (65 pounds... have gained 45 of it back), but it was way too restrictive and I was not comfortable with the "turning my life over" part. Anyway, everyone knows that I work out and just plan to tell them that I've stepped it up and am going back to really watching flour and sugar intake (I was losing roughly 10 pounds/month doing that). They were kind of used to me showing up with "my" food everywhere, so I don't think it's going to be a big deal.

I really don't understand everyone being so secretive. You should not be ashamed about making this choice you should be proud about making the decision to better your life. If people are judgemental about it that is their problem. It's reality I'm fat and out of shape and I need to do something about it. I tell everyone pretty much everyone is supportive and is excited for me and the ones that have said I should just lose the weight with just diet and excerise, I very kindly explain that I've been trying to diet for the last 15 years and looks where is has gotten me. And then also through out there if they would like to put a 100lb fat suit on and race me up the stairs and see how easy it is. Which usually gives them a reality check. I also think by telling everyone I have a better chance of not failing. More friends and family and coworkers to keep me on track. You would be amazed how many people have already had weightloss surgery. Good luck everyone.

I really don't understand everyone being so secretive.

Two reasons:

1) Because people judge / shame. You might be tough enough to stand up against that kind of judgement but many of us aren't and it can be tiresome and humiliating to deal with that.

2) And because of internal guilt. I am not proud that I've come to this, I know full well I should have not shoveled food in my face for the past 10 years, I could have done something when I was 20 pounds overweight, and I didn't.

I, for one, have told no one but my husband, and it'll stay that way. I'm not proud of it, I guess. But I'm doing what I need to before I end up diabetic or dead of a heart attack.

Family, close friends, boyfriend and maybe 1 or 2 others. I told everybody I was getting surgery on my liver and other stomach problems

It's not so much a matter of being secretive for me. I have only told my mom, husband, 1 co-worker and my boss. I just don't want to deal with their negativity, doubts, etc. I want to get used to my sleeve in my own time. Once I start losing weight I have no problem telling anyone who asks! (I agree that it's good to educate people because there is a lot of negative WLS stigmas and misinformation out there!) I just think it's a personal choice and probably has to do with insecurity (personally anyways!). How many diets/programs have we tried over the years and failed? I don't want that hanging over my head ANYMORE!

Does there seem to be a stigma attached with weightloss surgery? I have told a few of my friends. Some are so happy for me and some seem to disagree with my decision. They act as if I'm just taking the easy way out or something, is this a common reaction?

Does there seem to be a stigma attached with weightloss surgery? I have told a few of my friends. Some are so happy for me and some seem to disagree with my decision. They act as if I'm just taking the easy way out or something, is this a common reaction?

it does seem to be.

My husband said, "Why can't you just exercise?"

I couldn't even get into all the reasons why exercise isn't possible for me, between swollen, Fluid filled feet, arthritic knees, a compressed disc with shooting sciatic pain, and I'm only 31! Exercise = dangerous and painful. He thought I could just zumba for a few months and be fit. Uh, no!

LOL

Most of my friends are super thin naturally, even after having kids. I think they honestly just don't understand the battle. Hopefully they will come around. My husband for one is being very supportive, thank goodness!

I think there's a stigma involved...I think every conversation I've heard that involves wls ends with people shaking their heads and saying "they know someone who had it and had nothing but problems and gained all their weight back." I know because I was one of those people before I started seriously researching surgery.

I totally agree with the need for eduction (and agree with JennyBeth), but personally I would rather wait until after the surgery so I can provide first-hand knowledge about my own experience.

That's exactly the reactions I am getting. And they always say things like "you should exercise more, I will show you what I do". I exercise three times a week and am still 100 lbs overweight. It's not that I'm just a lazy person!

We do need to educate people about the surgery. Perhaps it is easier for us to have the surgery, after all we are all having this because sometimes it is damn near impossible to lose the weight after trying other methods and darn it we need to tell the naysayers this. Sometimes a little courage goes a long way!

Be Confident

Be Strong

Be Brave

Be Bold

Take Action

I have only told my hubby, son and a good friend. I havent told anyone in my family since they are totally against WLS, my mother's favorite thing to say is chew it and spit it out. My brother is a Dr. and my sister is a NUT for a large insurance co. and both say watch what you eat Sooooo I have basically gone underground so to speak lol and am going under renovation per say, more than just WLS. I will see them in 5-6 months and whether I tell them or not I havent decicded on as of yet or maybe I will let them read it in my memoirs. This is a very personal decision and I dont want any negative influence in my journey.

Hello...I am 1 week pre op before my surgery on the 31st. I only told my daughter...I didn't tell my parents nor my siblings nor my friends or coworkers. I feel bad for having my daughter to bare all this by herself and we have to drive 3 hours away to the hospital. She said she is afraid for me and I am feeling bad for her, but my surgery will go on. Good luck to everyone and I truly feel that this journey is only to be shared with whomever we feel is supportive to us.

My prayers are with u and give her a big hug for being such a great supporter

I told my immediate family and a handful of close friends and co-workers. I wanted their support and encouragment. I have sworn them to secrecy. I don't want to be the topic of anyone's conversation, and it is a personal thing for me.

It's funny to me when I say that because I have my picture in my profile, and that's not very annonymous, but I just don't want to discuss it with acquaintances.