Hi all. I'm new here to the forum. I'm just graduated the Tufts "Can Change" program and am finally finding out my surgery date on the 7th. I'm so excited! I was wondering how many of you kept your surgery a secret? So far I've told my family, my very best friend and my boyfriend. I was just wondering how others handled their situation.

Thanks in advance!

Hii tb21872, regaining control of your life is an amazing empowering feeling. thx for writing

dannyelleb, no way to keep it private--that's the truth. thx for sharing.

Fiddleman, you are right indeed. Things have to change What I love about the VS is that it becomes a built-ini "babysitter" for me. You can't do the wrong thing.

newat52, I agree being private with no strings" seems to be too much to ask these days. It's amazing how much different the world looks already

BRAVO rdt210!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that's great tannak! that must be tough, living with a bad thing that happened in your family in a completely different time. It's amazing how conclusions are drawn with misinformation or partial information. I am SO glad you have a close support person. That is the BEST!

Lifer, I totally understand. There;s a real "disconnect" with people sometimes on this issue when they know nothing about it, so not saying anything certainly makes it easier.

I told everyone when I was banded 10 years ago, and this time around, it's pretty easy since they already all know that I still have that band in. I am telling everyone (well, family and friends and old coworkers since I no longer work) that I am getting my WLS revised or fixed (for lack of a longer or more detailed explanation). I would imagine if I was working new coworkers would know about my band too since I tell new people about it too... So it would probably be the same thing if I was working.

I have failed at WLS once, and THAT was hell. It was torture and I do not want to go down that road again. I am commuting to this 100% and I can use all the support I can get. I know that there is a stigma about it and I know that some people don't agree. The same people the didn't agree before, have watched me fail and think I'm just compounding my mistakes. I am really hoping that this will be the answer for me and that they will be able to be happy for my success, but honestly, it doesn't matter. I am doing what I need to do for me. And I don't care what they think enough to try and hide it from anyone. The people that support me are wonderful and that's what's going to pull me through this and help me really succeed!!!

My MIL I am sure doesn't think I deserve it bc I took the "easy way out" but in reality my MIL is the one taking the easy out by just staying fat.

This is such a great point. While I feel that everyone truly has their own journey and I won't judge anyone else for any route they take to get healthier (or not), I SO agree that the easy way out for me would have been to not make a change.

This is such a great point. While I feel that everyone truly has their own journey and I won't judge anyone else for any route they take to get healthier (or not)' date=' I SO agree that the easy way out for me would have been to not make a change.[/quote']

I think you're right that we are making a hard choice and that this is by no means an easy way out. But we need to be careful of judging others the same way we hate being judged. For some people the risk of surgery is just not something they're willing to do, and we have to respect that. This journey is a serious decision and it isn't for everyone. We have to try to remember that the people that are overweight, even those that openly judge our decision are battling the same things we are, and none of it is easy.

Hi all. I'm new here to the forum. I'm just graduated the Tufts "Can Change" program and am finally finding out my surgery date on the 7th. I'm so excited! I was wondering how many of you kept your surgery a secret? So far I've told my family' date=' my very best friend and my boyfriend. I was just wondering how others handled their situation.

Thanks in advance! [/quote']

I told family and friends everyone was positive expect one or two but who care long as my husband support me I'm not worried not one bit

I think you're right that we are making a hard choice and that this is by no means an easy way out. But we need to be careful of judging others the same way we hate being judged. For some people the risk of surgery is just not something they're willing to do, and we have to respect that. This journey is a serious decision and it isn't for everyone. We have to try to remember that the people that are overweight, even those that openly judge our decision are battling the same things we are, and none of it is easy.

Yes, that is the point I was trying to make in saying that "for me," the "easy way out" would have been to not make a change--and I added that I don't judge anyone for any route they choose to take or not take to get healthier. I absolutely agree with your points--one size does not fit all.

Totally TES I realized immediately after I posted that, that I should have quoted who you quoted and not you since it made it look like I might have been countering your point instead of backing it! Lol I agree with you completely!!!

I just told my husband and close friend. Wasn't planing on telling anyone just my husband but a week before my surgery my friend called me...she was having one of those "I can't believe I let myself get like this" day. I decided on telling her. Now she will be getting her surgery 2 weeks after me.

My biggest thing about not telling many people (I told my husband, one friend, and my parents and swore them all to secrecy) was because I don't want to be under a microscope during this journey. I don't want people judging what I am eating or asking me what I'm eating and why or asking me every day how much I've lost so far.

I've always been a slow loser and I had a feeling that since I'm hypothyroid, metabolically efficient, and I've restricted my calories for so many years, the weight wouldn't fly off of me after VSG either. That is what has happened, which makes me SO glad I made the decision that I did not to tell many people. I put enough pressure on myself and don't need added pressure from anyone else.

With that said, I know that if I can lose even 8 pounds a month or something along those lines, that's almost 100 pounds in a year! I know that I could not have done that without this tool. I really tried to go into this with realistic expectations. Sort of like when I got LASIK--I wasn't hoping for perfect vision, but wanted it to be better than it was pre-op. And it is--much.

I've thought a lot about what I would do if someone asked me once it's noticeable that I have lost a significant amount of weight how I did it. I have decided that if it's someone I am close to and they could potentially benefit from VSG, I will tell them. I will explain why I decided to keep the journey quiet. If they are a friend, they will understand.