Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I want to help my friends but i can't



Recommended Posts

My coworkers are killing me. All day long all they talk about is weight loss, eating right and getting in shape. They're talking about it right now. They ask for my opinion and I mention low carbs and logging their food....but nooooooo, that's too much trouble. They say they just want to "watch their portions." Does that work? Who here hasn't tried that? I watched my portions for 40 years...watched them get bigger and bigger. All I can do is wish them the best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah that doesn't work for me. Unless I see it in a log it's to hard to keep track of. Even with the sleeve my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I don't pull out nearly as much as I used to before surgery, but it is usually still a bit to much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Never worked for me. I don't know how you watch your portions without tracking and measuring. You need to measure at least a few times to figure out what a serving size is on most things. All you can do is suggest, hopefully they are successful. If not, maybe they will take your suggestions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most people who "watch their portions" have no idea what a portion should be.

Even my husband, who has never had a weight problem, was amazed when I talked to him about his portions of Pasta and rice.

I don't see a practical way for you to demonstrate to them that won't come off as preachy, but the one thing that really hammered home my out of control portion sizes was seeing the models of what a portion of each food should look like. I'd heard the "deck of cards" and "fist sized" thing before but actually seeing how much larger (and grotesque) my portions were impacted me.

It didn't help me lose the weight but it was a piece of info I carried with me and the comparisons are easy to visualize.

In any case, you can't change a person's mind or attitude about anything. When someone really wants to lose weight, and by that, I mean they want to lose weight more than they want to keep eating, they'll do the work and find a way to eat healthier. Most people (even sleevers are guilty of this) want to keep eating the same horrible way but lose the weight. It's why people flock in droves to by miracle pills to help shed weight but never adopt the simple habits that would probably help without the side effects.

~Cheri

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had some very obese relatives talk to me about the weight loss. The number one advice I gave them (in their 20s very very very high BMI) is to just stop gaining weight. Make that a priority - I can think of all the weights I was at that if I had just STOPPED right there, i would never have needed surgery.I

It is such an individual journey, there frankly isn't much we can do for others until they are ready to make fundamental changes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think like everyone else said..people are curious about people who are successful, but do they really want to do what it is necessary..probably not...especially if its going to be remotely difficult. You know..my turning point was the diagnosis of pre-diabetes..why I thought high cholesterol and high blood pressure was "ok"...I can take a pill..but watching family members die from complications of diabetes..was serious for me. So until they have the OMG moment...they won't change..but I bet you are inspiring people to look at themselves and you may just be a catalyst for their own self discovery and change!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

there are folks even on this board who when I mentioned that I count out almonds and weigh, measure and log my food told me that I was too consumed by it all and why don't I just eyeball things. I told them that it takes maybe 5 minutes to log the food and 20 minutes to prepare and pack my food and Snacks for the next workday. I told them: "What's the big deal about less than half and hour out of my life to make sure I'm on track?"

I wasn't ready to hear anything until I finally had that "Straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Then I started asking REAL questions for REAL and not just complaining.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I weighed everything in the beginning because you cannot be sure what you're eating otherwise. One of my issues prior to surgery was overeating and grazing. It would be too easy for me to eat the entire bag of almonds mindlessly while reading a book or watching the boob tube.

How else can you accurately track your calories? Guesstimating? That's not much help, is it?

Being consumed by surgery and healthy eating? I'd argue that it's paying attention to what I'm putting in my body, something that might have prevented my obesity in the first place. If you're willing to have life altering surgery and remove an organ, you should probably be willing to invest at least a few minutes each day into the other parts of the equation: what you put in your body, and how much/why you're putting it there.

Now that I'm so far out I seldom actually need to break out the scale, though every now and again I do it just to check myself. But if I'm going to indulge in a junky food, like those flamin hot cheetos I ate last night (something I'd normally avoid but sounded oh so good to me) you better bet your hind end I'm counting out the 21 cheetos that make up a portion. No way will I allow myself to eat the whole bag like I used to.

Oh, and I only ate ten of them and put the rest back. I think I just wanted something spicy and would have been just as satisfied with a scrambled egg covered in hot sauce. chips and the like never went stale in my house prior to surgery, but it's something we have to watch out for now. :)

~Cheri

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't ready to hear anything until I finally had that "Straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Then I started asking REAL questions for REAL and not just complaining.

You just gave me an epiphany. I think my coworkers are really just complaining rather than sincerely asking for help. I don't know why I didn't recognize that before....I'm an expert on complaining.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My coworkers are killing me. All day long all they talk about is weight loss' date=' eating right and getting in shape. They're talking about it right now. They ask for my opinion and I mention low carbs and logging their food....but nooooooo, that's too much trouble. They say they just want to "watch their portions." Does that work? Who here hasn't tried that? I watched my portions for 40 years...watched them get bigger and bigger. All I can do is wish them the best.[/quote']

You could just explain a portion is in terms of ounces, either weigh with a scale or volume with measuring cups. For us, it started at 1-3 ounces and advanced to more over time. For them, it would be a higher number of ounces and will give them an opportunity to eating more healthy too by making better food choices. After all, how often are they going to be measuring out brownies, cake, ice cream, etc without being reminded of why they are measuring. Just a thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes....it is amazing that friends are so interested and conversant about weight loss with me now. They want to know what the "tricks" are and same as you, when I talk about getting high protein/low carb in, and logging food, they mostly find reasons why that is too much work or why it won't work for them. Oh well....we were there once. Best to just let it go, I guess. Everyone's journey is personal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't ready to hear anything until I finally had that "Straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Then I started asking REAL questions for REAL and not just complaining.

You just gave me an epiphany. I think my coworkers are really just complaining rather than sincerely asking for help. I don't know why I didn't recognize that before....I'm an expert on complaining.

Just wondering how your going after all this time. Is it easy for you to maintain this far out ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been to work in over a month and a half, but we are a very tight knit bunch since we work in a highly stressful environment, I have been lucky to have such an extended support group, most of my nurses, and co- workers do cardio, weight training or crossfit, I do get upset when I get the occasional "oh I hope you don't get like ######, she's already fat again" or "was it easy???", but once people started to see my results and I posted pics, a lot of it turned into being asked about my diet and food choices, I did take a couple of my nurses serious since they went out of their way to text and call me for information on using my kitchen scale, how I do low carb, and one of them even called me all weekend once because she went out and bought a Wok, and wanted to learn to stir fry, that was my midlife crisis gift until she becomes a doctor, then I get the obligatory new vehicle, lol, when you hear people talking and complaining it is because it's "the flavor of the week" but when one of them is sincere try to help, I believe in paying it forward, I try to be humble buy I'm really feeding off the whole

"Wow your looking awesome" humble humble humble!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×