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Surgery today! Dealing with boyfriends num



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So I am at home, showered and ready to go. I'm pretty nervous... I was excited til I let my boyfriends mum get to me.

She keeps saying things like I'm a beautiful young lady and I don't need to do this and that because I have been losing weight lately I should be able to do it on my own. She says the side effects are extremely bad (she was researching the wrong procedure, when I pointed this out she just yelled that the side effects are the same). Last night my boyfriend went to her house and she said to him "just remember when she's sick, she did this to herself"

I know she is worried about me but I really don't need someone trying to talk me out of this days before I'm supposed to have surgery. Especially since I've known for a long time I want to do this.

Anyway it's 1 hour til I have to be at the hospital, it's only 5 mins away from my house so it's pretty good.

Wish me luck!

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Best regards to you and may you have a safe surgery and speedy recovery... Hugs

TD41

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Good luck.

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Deep cleansing breaths.... Put the other thing out of your head right now. She is probably worried and can't express it in a helpful way.

Take care of yourself :)

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You're going to do fine, stay positive :)

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That is very difficult for you to be dealing with when you are probably already nervous about surgery. This will be something you have to deal with for a long time after surgery as well. I think if you can work on setting limits with her now it will help you after surgery. She lacks appropriate boundaries and you can set your own so she doesn't derail you. You could say something like, "I appreciate your concern, but this is my personal decision and I would rather not discuss it with you. " Then refuse to discuss it further with her. Good luck to you!

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She is probably worried and can't express it in a helpful way.

I like this!

Good luck today!!

Deano

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I can relate. The last time my mom and I talked about this she said flat out that i would really regret this, somehow she insists that she's being supportive....right. It's just adding more stress to an already stressed out situation. Her opinion doesn't change what's going to happen but I hate going into it knowing I'm in for the 'i told you so'.

Good luck, you're going to do great in spite of what your boyfriends mother says.

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Good Luck

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Speedy recovery! I wish you the best of luck!

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good luck were all here for you xxx

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That is exactly what I'm going through with my Dad & Father in law. Even my closest friends are saying things like that. It makes me feel alone. I feel like when I am sick, I won't be able to let them know cause I sure don't want to hear a told ya so. My surgery is Tue, 22nd & I'm so scared I'm making a bad choice.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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