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A new friend from Texas



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Hola Amigos:

My name is Melissa (A.k.a. Meli) and I'm new here. I found out about this place from my dear friend Shontel, whom I was banded with and love dearly.

I have been overweight for approximately 80% of my life, the 20% percent of not overweightness coming from a childhood stint when I think I was actually underweight.

I am what you might call a "Super Chunk." My weight is higher than most of normally obese people, but being tall, I've been able to mask the number better than someone that's say, 5'2.

Sounds crazy, right? It is. There's not much fat people can do to hide anything concerning their weight, unless I try to hide a pen under one of my rolls, which in turn is a fairly adept hiding spot.

I'm here because I don't want to hide anymore, and I can't keep making like an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand to avoid the problem of self-destruction. I took off a good bit of weight post-op and have been putting it back on due to no restriction. Today I ate a big-ass burger with two slices of cheese, lettuce, Tomato, pickles, and mustard with a side of home fries with ketchup and salt.

As I was eating today I realized I had completely gone out of control. I read some old journal entries and how I agonized about getting the funding for my trip to Monterrey to be banded. I prayed until the rosary beads of my heart started giving off a gentle wisp of smoke. Now that I have been banded, six months has passed and I haven't lost any substantial amount of weight and have nothing to show it all.

I will be quick to say that I don't blame it on anyone but myself. Dr. Sanchez's team have been so kind and good to me, it makes tears spring to my eyes. They really want to see me succeed and it seems I've let all of us down. :cry

But no more. I have to put things in perspective and realize that unless I get my motor running again and take charge of the situation, no amount of banding or bypassing is going to save my life. :decision:

So hell or high Water, I'm not going to give up hope. It's going to be a long, long journey and I hope that just maybe I'll make lots of new friends here that I can help out too. :)

Love,

Meli

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Oh Meli, I am glad you found some inner resolve to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Have you had more than one fill, or reached any level of restriction? That will certainly help with the hunger and willpower aspect! I wish you the best and you have found a fabulous place to come for support and inspiration!

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Welcome.

We're glad you're here. We are all on different parts of our journey so we try not to judge or accuse. Hopefully you'll find support here.

I guess I agree with Lianna - you're probably UNDERFILLED.

Burger and fries, eh? :hungry: WHEW. Well that's the sound of a band that's not 'tweaked' properly.

The band is a wonderful tool, but it does not work without actively keeping up the restriction (or " Fill " ) level. And frankly it takes a few fills for most of us to get there.

So first things first, access your fill level - you really just need a jump-start to make better food decisions. None of us is perfect, we need help to succeed.

That's what band restriction is - a gentle (sometimes not so gentle :) ) nudge to help us stay on track.

You can do this, Meli.

Keep your head (and your Fill Level) up, OK?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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