Bad Dream...

[bee13 44]

The other night I had a nightmare that was all about the vertical sleeve surgery. I am still trying to make up my mind and generally soul searching to make sure this surgery is what I want to do, so I guess my brain is fixated. It was definitely a negative, bad feelings, waking up sweaty and scared kind of dream.

Anyway, in the dream I had just had the surgery, I couldn't have been more than a few days post-OP in my home and there was a pizza container on the counter...and I just walk by, pick up a slice and eat it without even thinking (!!) - the entire piece in seconds. I realize my horrible mistake moments after I finish the last bite ("Oh God, what have I done, so thoughtless and now I am going to die!") and my mind races to think of what I should do. Would it be better for me to try and throw up or just let the pizza rip open my fresh stitches, who knows, I am totally panicking to the point where I make my husband drive me to the ER to see a doctor. Unfortunately, I had my surgery in Mexico and they refused to treat me because of possible malpractice, etc. and I am trying to tell them that I am going to die in their waiting room if I can't see a doctor ASAP.

THANKFULLY - at this point I wake up. But I think it highlighted a lot of anxieties I have about the surgery.

1) Will I be mindful enough to follow the food guidelines?

2) Will I be knowledgeable enough to know what is good and what is bad for me, medical wise?

3) Will I have the support I need from my husband?

4) Will I be able to find the medical support I need in the states after returning home from self-pay in Mexico, if indeed something goes wrong afterward?

Can anyone relate? Also, if you had a bad dream will you please share?

[twoolley 141]

I can relate. I had a dream after my surgery that I did the exact same thing with a coke. I had drank it without thinking. I didn't go as far as dreaming I went to the emergency room but I woke up with feelings of panic. I had all the same reservations that you did and I even postponed my surgery for over a year and watched myself gain while I thought I could lose weight "the natural way". My parents even forbid me to have the surgery...

Now let me ask you this... Have you ever had a dream that you were dying of a heart attack but the paramedics couldn't get you onto the stretcher to save your life? Or that your caskett was carried by 10 people because you were so heavy? Have you ever had dreams about your 5 year old finding you dead in your bed because you had a heart attack or stroke in your sleep?

I know it sounds horrible and I'm honestly not trying to be mean... but I'm 29 years old and I have had all of those dreams I just mentioned above. I cried to many times because of them because I was depressed, had given up, and thought there was no hope for someone like me. I'm 91 pounds down today and I would rather dream about cokes.

[bee13 44]

I know it sounds horrible and I'm honestly not trying to be mean... but I'm 29 years old and I have had all of those dreams I just mentioned above. I cried to many times because of them because I was depressed, had given up, and thought there was no hope for someone like me. I'm 91 pounds down today and I would rather dream about cokes.

That wasn't mean, it was lovely - I'm going to be 29 this year and I want to enjoy my youth. Thank you for your response!

[lizv123 389]

I just have to tell you this made me laugh. I've had these dreams since my first surgery. I walk to my kitchen and just taste or eat whatever I feel like and I wake up terrified. It's silly, but you're totally not alone. Even in the hospital every time I'd pass the meal cart in the hallway I'd daydream I snagged a ranch packet and crackers or one of the Peanut Butter cups.

I'd be worried if you weren't nervous

[neekoal 37]

The morning after I was released from the hospital I dreamed hubby and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and I ate Honey Barbeque wings (it makes me salivate to type that) I swear it was like a dirty dream....but I woke up terrified I really thought I ate them. Hubby thinks I'm psycho, however, when I drive past BWW I still gaze longingly.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

1) Will I be mindful enough to follow the food guidelines?

I think it is really much harder to not pay attention than it seems - it is always on your mind for awhile...you can also issue reminders by not snacking, measuring out your food, placing your spoon or fork down after each bite, to be very mindful of picking it up again.

A better question may be "Are you prepeared to make permanent changes?" Here is the follow up!!! : "HOW?" plan it out now. Later you will just feel panicky. This is a life change, it requires planning.

2) Will I be knowledgeable enough to know what is good and what is bad for me, medical wise?

Are you? Do you keep a journal of your questions and the answers you get? Have you discussed your medications and contitions? Do you understand the procedure?

3) Will I have the support I need from my husband?

That is a very private question - this is something to prepare for too - he willl be going through changes also. Typically, unless addressed on a serious level, with work and effort on both peoples part, you are going to have roughly the same level of support you have ever recieved on any long term diet, or self-improving task that untimately is for the betterment of you first. That is a good indicator of what to expect.

4) Will I be able to find the medical support I need in the states after returning home from self-pay in Mexico, if indeed something goes wrong afterward?

Again, what do you mean by that? Are you covered by health insurance? Do you have the funds set aside? I have gone to my general practitioner several times with possible sleeve related issues, including a barium drink, that was ;isted as a check for a esophagus blockage first, and by the way make sure her tummy is ok...otherwise you will incur bills. I say this and emphasize it because you need and want a plan of action for this, you don't want to create alot of unpaid debt for yourself. You will have enough on you in the upcoming months without that!

Good luck!!!