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How do I tell him or should I bother?



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I'm 6 months post op, 15 pounds from my ultimate goal, met a guy last month and we've been seeing each other pretty regularly. He knows I had surgery, knows I only have part of a stomach, and has seen how little I eat- he seems to be ok with it. He doesn't know what kind or surgery I had, or that I had it to lose weight. He doesn't know that I used to 260 pounds. But now I want to be Facebook friends with him. Most of my pics are the old me so as soon as I FB him, he's going to find out. Should I tell him about the surgery, wait to FB him until later, or just go ahead and not say anything?

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I would tell him. The more he becomes a part of your life the more he is going to discover. It is unfair for him to be caught off guard and have a reaction he would regret.

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here's a guy's perspective..

if it ends up making a difference to him then you'll have to ask yourself if he's really the right kind of guy to be with..

if you're worried about it then tell him. get ahead of the issue, explain, and don't let him generate any ideas on his own before you talk about it.

good luck and congrats on the wl!

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Just another guys perspective... but in my opinion honesty is always the best policy. Something like this shouldn't matter to him at all, and if it does then I would seriously question that. The past is the past and even in the past you were the same person on the inside that you are today and THAT is what truly matters.

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I agree with the other guys. Any man I know wouldn't hold this against you whatsoever, unless he feels you went out of your way to hide it from him. Be proud of your progress and success and he will be proud with you. And if he's not, that should be a red flag to you.

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Thank you gentlemen and lady! My guy is going to meet my friends this weekend for a hockey game. Ill see what they say about him and ask them if they think he's ready to hear it. On the other hand, I might as well tell him sooner rather than later. I would hate to get attached to find out he can't deal.

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Never be anything less than proud..the lack of confidence is more unattractive than being heavy

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Thought I'd give an update. I told him last night about the weight loss and he'd already starting adding up the facts on his own-the half of a stomach, the tiny meals-so it wasn't a surprise. He was impressed when I told him how much-126-127. I did earn myself a little spanking because my deep, dark secret wasn't. ;-)

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