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Hard time adjusting to sleeve and break up



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I posted before about the status of my marriage and every since i was sleeved he has done everything to show me he doesnt love me. This couldnt have come at a worse time.

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stay strong! Keep doing this for you! Dont let him mess with your heard work or heath! Good luck :)

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Perhaps he is jealous that you are doing something for yourself. Keep your head up! You have to take care of you!

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Thanks ladies but i am a wreck. I have been making myself sick about it literally . I try to focus on myself but having five kids and stressed out just adds to it. I am going to try to sleep

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You know what I notice about weak men with low self-esteem? They constantly sabatoge your progress in anyway that they can. I remember the closer I got to obtaining my bachelors degree, (a major accomplishment because I was working full time), the harder my ex would cheat on me and compete with me. He wanted me to be so consumed with him and grief that I would just give up altogether. Girl puhleese, he did not and could not get that! I agree with the other ladies, he is probably jealous that you are handling your handle and do not need him for this new journey. Stay focused and pray for yourself and for him. Maybe GOD will bring him around but if he keeps rolling like this, you may have to remove him from your life so you can grow. Best wishes!!

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im praying for you i know this combination of feeling is the worse but i hope the lord comes in and fills that empty space in your heart i dont know if you believe in him ... i do & he can heal anything thats meant to be

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Jrzydiva i thought that he would be uncomfortable but i never thought it would be like this. I Dont have many friends to talk to and i am so confused. His mom and i get along great and she sees what i am dealing with and told me i have to focus on me too. This couldnt happen at a worst time.

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im praying for you i know this combination of feeling is the worse but i hope the lord comes in and fills that empty space in your heart i dont know if you believe in him ... i do & he can heal anything thats meant to be

I do believe but cant help but to wonder why. I wish i could just walk away unphased but i made a commitment by marrying him. I guess i meant mine and he didnt.

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Did he leave or is he being a jerk?

I'm so sorry this is an emotional time just adjusting to your new diet requirements and healing.

You have us here on VST and we will support you.

Perhaps just give him time to work out his feelings, whatever has got him so unsupportive, maybe lay low and just come here for help.

Maybe he is afraid you'll leave him? Is there anyway to rekindle something between you both perhaps just small acts of kindness could get him back on track.

I'm so sorry this is happening but maybe it will pass?

I am wishing you all the best!!!

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Agree with above post by lessofmeismore. U aren't alone....lots of people on this site are great support. Hard to give advice without knowing more about ur relationship, but definately know u need to take care of yourself. Praying for u and wishing u the best. Please keep us updated. Best wishes.

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I do believe but cant help but to wonder why. I wish i could just walk away unphased but i made a commitment by marrying him. I guess i meant mine and he didnt.

Him being an @ss lets you off the hook.

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Listen to your MIL! Her wisdom is best. Let your husband deal with his own discomfort. You do not need to "feed" his discomfort. You did not ask for this or deserve it, so when he tries to "dish it out",do not pick it up. Best of luck-stay strong-stay focused.

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I'm sorry to hear that your going through this it is very similar to my situation but I hav realized I have to be in better health for myself and my children bc they in the end are the ones that need me around the most. I am not here for my husband to badger me and make me feel like I am worthless or no good to him I am here for my children and to be stong for them but keep the faith and don't let no one bring you down do it for your babies.

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Thanks ladies but i am a wreck. I have been making myself sick about it literally . I try to focus on myself but having five kids and stressed out just adds to it. I am going to try to sleep

Sweetie, this one time you will have to encourage yourself!!! I know the pain and hurt you feel goes to you're very heart's core. But, he is a grown man and we can't change or control the actions of others. All you can do is focus on your health, life, and your babies! Will it be easy! Absolutely Not!!! But, you can do it, you Will make it! I would not want to be in his shoes for anything in the world!!! Karma is a trip! Wanted to say what Karma really is, we all know, but, I'll be polite! It's hard to do when you have children, but, do little things to pamper yourself. Whether, its buying a new shade of lipstick or nail polish, get a manicure/pedicure, put some candles in the bathroom and take a luxurious bubble bath, a new item of clothing, whatever puts a smile on your face!!! I've been through some difficult and heartwrenching days in my 59+ years, but, I pressed through. I stayed focused on myself and my children, with the belief that this too shall pass. Guess what, it will get better. Bit by bit, day by day! You keep your head up and don't you let that joker steal your joy! I'm speaking as a Mom now! There's a whole community here for you, remember that, 24/7! Sending prayers up for you and your family!

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Could you try couples counseling? There's two types....with a licensed therapist or with a minister/pastor of a church. I know you said in an earlier thread that your low self-esteem allowed you to take his BS in the past and that is something you struggle with now. But, if you are feeling like you want to salvage the relationship (if possible), I think counseling would be helpful. Ultimately, if he won't do it and/or if you do it and nothing changes, you can leave the relationship knowing you gave it your best shot. I am not a great fan of divorce, but I also do not believe that people should remain in abusive relationships. Obviously, he has his own issues. People who abuse usually were abused in some other time of their lives. (What kind of father-figures did he have?)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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