My Ongoing Story :)

[ausmith 374]

Hi Beccy just wondering how things are now ?

[Beckyyb93 225]

Hey guys, sorry I haven't given you an update in a while. I'm struggling pretty badly, I use the word struggling a lot lately because I think it sounds better than dying which is honestly what I feel like is happening. As you guys know from my previous post, the spasms are back and I've been hospitalized SO many times since the bypass 8/1. I was taking an extremely difficult science class that I need to start clinicals and I had to drop it because I missed so many of the labs that I wouldn't be able to keep up, luckily the rest of my classes were online because that was only the start to the difficult times. It's now almost Christmas which means I'm almost at my 2 year sleeve surgiversary and I'm in pretty bad shape. I just had another manometry which is where they put the tube down your nose and measure your swallowing pressure, I saw the surgeon and he said we have improved since the bypass but still have a long way to go. Before the bypass I had 10% normal swallows and 90% abnormal, now I had 45% normal swallows and 55% abnormal but my swallow is getting weaker which means my achalasia is getting worse. The next step is a Botox injection to my esophagus where the spasms are taking place but he wants to do one last endoscopy before scheduling that to check for ulcers/strictures. That's scheduled for Monday the 22nd but at this point I'm not sure if I'm going to make it that long before being hospitalized. I'm really really struggling with the pain right now and I'm not getting enough fluids much less Protein down to be safe or hydrated. I'm on Norco pills 4x daily to help with the pain and it helps but isn't nearly enough to feel normal. So, I'll probably end up heading to the ER tomorrow sometime if I don't feel any better soon because I'm 99% sure I have an ulcer on top of the spasms which is causing pain with the medicine I take for spasms so the two issues are working against each other. I'm usually hospitalized 2x a month for fluids, potassium, and pain medicine then they send me home and I struggle until I give in and go back to the hospital. I'm on so much medicine that it's just sad, I take more than 6 different medications for just my stomach alone and that doesn't account for my kidney problems that I've always had but are becoming more severe since surgery because of my Fluid intake. I'm also struggling with depression because the pain just wears me down, I sometimes wonder how I'm ever going to get through this and if it will ever stop. I try to tell myself that the Botox injection will help but some days my optimism waivers By the grace of God I managed to pull off B's across the board in school this semester which is pretty impressive considering how much I have been in the hospital and how sick I have been. I've finally resigned to taking the next semester off to hopefully heal because I can't keep putting myself through this, it kills me to do it but I feel like I need to focus on my health and feeling better before I can really take on school again.

I don't know what else to tell you guys except please pray for me, I'm trying my best to stay strong but it's extremely difficult. I'm still fighting but it's getting harder to do as the bad days keep coming, I try to focus on the good parts of life like my family, my fiance, and my friends which helps but like I said at the beginning I'm really struggling and I feel like I'm getting worse which frightens me for my future.

[peki31 37]

Hi Becky. Just read this entire thread. I am so so sorry for everything that you've been going through the last couple of years. You seem like such a strong young lady. You are in my thoughts and I hope that everything starts to turn around for you.

[anewbeginning12414 7]

You are in my prayers and I hope better days are coming soon for you. Taking time off from school is a hard thing to do, but your health and mind need rest and healing, and you are wise to know you needed to listen to your body. I've had to drop a nursing program once already due to health issues outside if being sleeved, and am still battling depression myself with a load of my own personal chaos, but hang on to your hope. You have a great support team in your family there and your family here! I'm new to this myself, being sleeved on Dec 4, 2014, so I don't have much advice or experience, but I can relate in other ways...and am here for you...rooting for answers and good news!

[ausmith 374]

Hey guys, sorry I haven't given you an update in a while. I'm struggling pretty badly, I use the word struggling a lot lately because I think it sounds better than dying which is honestly what I feel like is happening. As you guys know from my previous post, the spasms are back and I've been hospitalized SO many times since the bypass 8/1. I was taking an extremely difficult science class that I need to start clinicals and I had to drop it because I missed so many of the labs that I wouldn't be able to keep up, luckily the rest of my classes were online because that was only the start to the difficult times. It's now almost Christmas which means I'm almost at my 2 year sleeve surgiversary and I'm in pretty bad shape. I just had another manometry which is where they put the tube down your nose and measure your swallowing pressure, I saw the surgeon and he said we have improved since the bypass but still have a long way to go. Before the bypass I had 10% normal swallows and 90% abnormal, now I had 45% normal swallows and 55% abnormal but my swallow is getting weaker which means my achalasia is getting worse. The next step is a Botox injection to my esophagus where the spasms are taking place but he wants to do one last endoscopy before scheduling that to check for ulcers/strictures. That's scheduled for Monday the 22nd but at this point I'm not sure if I'm going to make it that long before being hospitalized. I'm really really struggling with the pain right now and I'm not getting enough fluids much less Protein down to be safe or hydrated. I'm on Norco pills 4x daily to help with the pain and it helps but isn't nearly enough to feel normal. So, I'll probably end up heading to the ER tomorrow sometime if I don't feel any better soon because I'm 99% sure I have an ulcer on top of the spasms which is causing pain with the medicine I take for spasms so the two issues are working against each other. I'm usually hospitalized 2x a month for fluids, potassium, and pain medicine then they send me home and I struggle until I give in and go back to the hospital. I'm on so much medicine that it's just sad, I take more than 6 different medications for just my stomach alone and that doesn't account for my kidney problems that I've always had but are becoming more severe since surgery because of my Fluid intake. I'm also struggling with depression because the pain just wears me down, I sometimes wonder how I'm ever going to get through this and if it will ever stop. I try to tell myself that the Botox injection will help but some days my optimism waivers By the grace of God I managed to pull off B's across the board in school this semester which is pretty impressive considering how much I have been in the hospital and how sick I have been. I've finally resigned to taking the next semester off to hopefully heal because I can't keep putting myself through this, it kills me to do it but I feel like I need to focus on my health and feeling better before I can really take on school again.

I don't know what else to tell you guys except please pray for me, I'm trying my best to stay strong but it's extremely difficult. I'm still fighting but it's getting harder to do as the bad days keep coming, I try to focus on the good parts of life like my family, my fiance, and my friends which helps but like I said at the beginning I'm really struggling and I feel like I'm getting worse which frightens me for my future.

As you know I have been following your story from the start and I'm really worried about your depression at the moment. Please keep talking and expressing how your feeling, hopefully talking about your experience will help you deal with this trying difficult time. Praying for your recovery and return to good health take care