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Veggestyle

By Veggestyle, in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums

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Betsyjane    2

Betsyjane
Posted

Do you all have meals together? Maybe they are afraid they'll lose you.

My dear Mother talks about food all the time...what's in the store, what's in her fridge, what's on food TV, recipes..... She feels useless if she can't feed everyone in her life...alot!

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Veggestyle    0

Veggestyle
Posted

Actually, I live on my own now with my boyfriend so I don't eat really any meals with my family, unless we go out together. Eating is a very big deal in my family (obviously) leading to my overweight issues. My dad really is the only one who understands b/c he doesnt assign such a meaning to food.< /p>

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Veggestyle    0

Veggestyle
Posted

I know...it would be wonderful. My dad truly is able to separate himself from emotion and meaning to food, he was able to lose about 60 lbs. just from stopping eating the "good stuff."

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AngelaT    2

AngelaT
Posted

Ever since I told my family about my decision to be banded they have been rather unsupportive. I sort of expected them to be not understanding and very unsure about the surgeon, but as my surgery date gets closer they become more unsupportive. I think that it is rather surprsing too since my mother and sister have struggled with their weight all their lives as well... :think

Well, to get to my thread title...Yesterday my boyfriend and I were explaining a few important details/facts to my sister and mom that were shared with us at my final surgeon consultation that I just had a few days ago. Truly, I was trying to help make them feel better about me having the surgery , sharing with them how the surgeon felt very positively about this surgery and the good experiences he has had and the minor complications...

And all my sister had to say was..."well, you know they are going to say good things because they are trying to selll the surgery to you since it is an elective surgery..." :cry

I felt really hurt by this, b/c not only did it insult my intelligence on making a major decision, but i feel like...would it kill you to say something encourageing? :mmph: She also asked me if I did any research on the surgery...well of coarse I have! She was very negatively questioning the long term rate of weight loss...i truly think she wants me to fail...

Any thoughts on this?

Thank you!

Dear Vegge,

You know you made the right decision.... sometimes our friends, family, etc. will try to sabotage positive changes due to the insecurity they have. If they are also overweight, then that means that they will in their eyes be not good enough because You have lost weight, they might also be afraid you will change, there might be a little envy also. Just because they are family, does not mean they are above it all... Family can also be anvious of other family.... Perhaps you can print out a study for them... make sure it is from a prestigious school or research company. Also show them some of the before and after pics on this board. Good luck! WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

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Go To Topic Listing LAP-BAND Surgery Forums

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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