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Mixed Feeling, It Hurts!



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This thread is for me to vent while am shedding tears... Last night some friends invited themselves to sleep over, my husband and i welcomed them and spent the night laughing and joking together.

But my laughs turned out into tears of sadness when we woke up this morning and realized that i have to make Breakfast for my husband and them. the whole breakfast was dairy (three types of cheese, yogurt) and some Beans along with vegetables .. With bread and tea.

And since my surgery was a secret between me my husband and our parents no one knows i did it and no one would understand why am full after the first bite... I didn't sit on the table with them, one reason is that i wont be able to eat more than one bite and they will start questioning me and second is the gas pains i feel after and sometimes i burp by mistake and i would be embarrassed if i did something like that in front of people ( they wont understand) ... instead i went and washed the dishes to keep my mind busy but that didn't work i was tearing up while washing the dishes... Its not the amount of food i miss, i just miss being able to eat and not feel gas pains after, i miss eating what everyone is eating...

Now they finished eating while am typing this and i have to go clean the table and wash the dishes again... Oh well couple more tears wont hurt!!

My husband came in a min ago and tried making it better for me... He feels like its his fault ITS NOT and i know but it still hurts!! :) gotta go wash the dishes now!

Good day every one!

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Really.........I would be jumping for joy knowing that you dont need food anymore as a crutch......and you will be at a normal weight soon....dont be sad about used to be's; be happy about the NEW and improved you! THERE'S NO CRYING IN WEIGHT LOSS.........LOL.

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Don't worry- in a few months you will be able to sit w your friends and enjoy them. You will eat less, but by then you will have learned how to eat for you and how to make it look like you are eating more than you are. Nobody noticed that I had no turkey, and tiny bites of other items. Nobody.

And that b-fast/dinner table will soon become more about love & family than food to you. It's ok to feel like you do, but don't dwell on it for too long. This is the start of lots of good things in your life!!!

Next time, suggest a b-fast party at ihop so you don't have to cook!!! :-)

Hugs!!

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hi,

I totally understand how you feel. My friends always call me out for food, and now i only can reject them. they dont know i had my surgery. I just dont know how to face my friends about eating.

I am also worried that i wouldnt be able to finish even half a normal meal when dinning out in future. that meakes me feels i am not a normal person.

When i am unhappy about these. i will look at how fat i am. and i will tell myself that i need to do something about it. And i did it, just waiting for the results to come. (i am 3 weeks out)

If there is a Genie that can grant me wishes. I would want my health, weight lost, dissappear of my fats and to live longer and healthier to see my children grow up. In exchange my ability to eat. I will still agreed.

stay strong. (reminder to myself too)

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While the situation was hard....give yourself credit! You had an unexpected situation come up and you handled it. It wasn't easy but you did it!

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People diet all the time. It's very normal to decline food and eat less. People of all weight levels do that. Just say you are on a diet and no one is going to question it. If anything they are going to congratulate you seeing the weight you're losing.

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I completely understand how you feel. Been feeling much of the same. Sad, frustrated. But I am also glad I did the surgery despite the down moments.

For many or most of us, food has been a source of comfort, socialization and a crutch. I almost feel like I am going through the stages of mourning that it's not there. Yes, it is a great thing we are doing but we have to remember there's an emotional piece to it as well. On a smaller scale, it's like missing a best friend that isn't there anymore. So, while I believe we have to do our best to focus on the positive, we also have to cut ourselves some slack and remember we went through a life changing event.

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I agree! I felt kind of lonely on Thanksgiving - I kept myself away from the hors douvers, and my family, washing dishes, busy, busy! Then at dinner, I ate too fast, had the uncomfortable burb (my "pop up" timer!) and sat as long as could stand - about 10 minutes, before going back to work in the kitchen-washing, drying etc. Then setting up coffee and dessert. Before I knew it, everyone was gone and I was exhausted! I didn't sit with family in my living room the entire holiday! I think I was kind of missing my "friend"-my best friend at that, food. Even though I tried to enjoy myself and my meal, the worrying about having too much sugar, carbs, butter, or something that would make me sick overshadowed the day. I know it's temporary-next Thanksgiving will be awesome!

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I hear ya. I was sleeved on Monday 11/19.. My parents, who are wonderful, stayed with me and brought some dishes to eat while here. I was doling out sausage n peppers and Pasta n meatballs to everyone else. I was drooling inside but tried to be strong. I also cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner for my immediate family on Thurs. It was torture not being able to have any. I kept on course with my program, and just kept thinking of the many scale and non-scale victories that are to come. Also that there will be many thanksgivings to come.

I understand that our hormones are doing flips after surgery and this may account for some of the emotions that we're feeling. It's hard to be strong at times but we will do it - there's so much proof on this site!

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Thank you all for your wonderful posts, it is good to know that am not the only one feeling like this... Now i understand that what we are going through is normal and if will fade away with time!! I am very thankful for this opportunity and i will try to make the best of it!

Good luck to everyone, you guys are wonderful and ur posts makes it all easier <3 thank you for being here and listening. ^_^

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People diet all the time. It's very normal to decline food and eat less. People of all weight levels do that. Just say you are on a diet and no one is going to question it. If anything they are going to congratulate you seeing the weight you're losing.

ISB, thank you for your post, but the thing is, i can explain eating so little, but the gas pains that i have after and all the burping i wont be able to explain :(

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Good luck with everything. I went back to work a week after the procedure and no one knows that I had it done. I was worried about the same things but with planning, and some gas-x strips, it all went smoothly.

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    • LeighaTR

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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