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To Those That Are Post-Op...2 Questions From An "undecided"



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I'm a newbie in here...Just starting to seriously consider the sleeve as an option for me...and I have a couple questions for those of you that have already had the surgery.

1.) If you could talk to yourself pre-op what would you say? What would you tell the you that was still undecided about having the surgery?

2.) Do you ever regret having the procedure? Even in tiny moments...like dinner out with friends or around the holidays? Do the regrets ever out weight the results?

Hi newbie!

Pre op was a tough one for me...I was adamant about having it but everyone around me was adamant that I shouldn't. What I did know was, that since the age of 10, I've been struggling with my weight. I'll be 47 on the 13th. As most people have on this site, I've tried every diet in the world...lost weight then gained it back and then some. I had reached the point where I couldn't even get full anymore. My days were spent seeking out the next bit of fried food. My feet were starting to hurt, swelling up, it was painful to just walk 20 feet, and I didn't know what else to do. And that's when my doctor told me I was prediabetic. And that was it, pre-diabetic. The next day I asked for referral to a surgeon. At this point I told myself YOU'RE WORTH IT. NOW ADD 10 YEARS TO YOUR LIFE!!

I'm only just about 3 weeks post op and I admit the food has been a struggle but oddly enough, a lot just turns my stomach. I'm on mashed foods now and had my first "restaurant experience" this morning. I met a friend for brunch. A friend who we both had no embarrassment ordering and eating anything in front of each other in the past. Here I was with my scrambled eggs and potatoes (which I had to mash) and there he was, with biscuits and gravy and hash towns and eggs and sausages and toast. I had two feelings..envy and disgust. Disgust won me over. The thought of putting that in my mouth was astonishing. It just didn't look appetizing! And I couldn't finish my eggs. I barely got thru one. And the potatoes? 2 tiny bites. I have never felt more in control.

I'm excited about the possibilities of my future. I spent so many years embarrassed by my size that I have isolated myself to such degree where I don't have many friends left. I've always been ashamed of how I look. I want to feel confident about myself so people can get to know me. And not just look at me as the funny girl or the fat girl with such a pretty face. HAH!!!

I don't have kids so that wasn't a roadblock for me. But I do have dreams, and all I went through to have the surgery is the beginning of my journey. I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore.

I'm anxious to see the weight come off to the degree that it has for others on this site. It's not coming off as quickly as I'd like but I remind myself that this is a marathon...not a race.

Whatever you decide, it will be what's best for you. As far as self pay, most insurance companies allow therapy visits. Usually 12 per year. Go to some OA meetings. You'll find people who have had the surgery. Search online like you did for this site. Ask the surgeon's office in Mexico for recommendations. It's out there.

Good luck to you.

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I would tell myself to calm down. The physical side of the process is easier than I thought it would be. The mental side that thought it was prepared has been much harder. Turns out I have a LOT of unresolved anger that I actually need to work on now because I can't eat it away.

Regrets come and go, like not knowing what to do with myself at a party around the food platters. They have all been situational and pass as quickly as they come on.

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Thanks for all the feedback. It is really helping me to decide what I am going to do. Like many of you have mentioned...I have major fear and anxiety over this but I also have the same fears about staying the size I am or getting bigger. I was recently diagnosed with insulin resistance and we all know it's just a short jump from that to full blown diabetes. I have a 5 year old little boy that needs me around for a long time. That is a big part of my decision...both for and against. Another thing is that I got married young and never finished college. Its something that I want to do but the idea of being the "old" and fat lady in class with a bunch of 20 year olds has prevented me from taking the steps to get back into school.

I have a friend that has had this procedure and I look at how her life has changed....it's amazing. She is so much more happy now and you can see the confidence in her face. Plus of course she looks amazing.

I guess what scares me the most is the actual surgery (dying on the table or having a serious complication) and what my life will be like in the long haul. The idea of a 2-5 oz stomach for the rest of my life is a daunting idea. I've never been able to stick to a diet for longer than 6 months and I worry that I wont be able to handle the change when it is forced on me by the size of the stomach. I have issues with food like many of you...I eat to heal and I hate that. I want to end this abusive relationship I have with food and I dont think I can do it on my own.

I'm about 220 lbs right now...I'm 30 years old....I wonder if I'm just giving up...if I can lose the weight on my own by busting my ass. But then I remember that I've done that before and gained nearly every bit of what I lost back.

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I don't regret mine at all. Yes the weight ain't going fast enough for me. Yes you only eat a few bites. I do hate the Constipation I have to use colace and Miralax on regular basis. My blood sugar went from 301 to 77- 100. I have lost about 26 pounds. I am 4 weeks tomorrow post-op. I have more energy than I ever dreamed. I actually walked 2 1/4 miles yesterday. I have dropped several inches also.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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