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Scared Straight! New Dad/husband, Thinking About Vgs- Please Help!



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No I am having mine done at Saint Frances in Memphis tn... Dr. Weaver

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wow. thank you all so very much! from the bottom of my heavy heart, i can't thank you all enough for taking the time out to help me. i agree, being at my current weight is really dangerous for my health. And i know it's really risky to be this big. probably more of a risk than the surgery, you're correct. what about eating and drinking? does everyone wait 30 minutes before or after a meal to drink something? how small are the portions? can you eat 1/2 a burger etc? how about coffee, soda, beer, or regular alcohol ? can you have any. i know i shouldn't want any of these things, i'm just curious. I am trying to eliminate them all from my diet as we speak, including, chinese food, pizza, all soda (including diet) and chips and ice cream! any additional tips is appreciated. thanks again and God Bless you all !!!

I do whatever my surgeon/nutritionist told me to do. Yes...I stop drinking 30 minutes before I eat, and I wait 30 minutes after I eat to drink again. My surgeon said no alcohol (of any kind), after surgery, so I don't drink anything alcoholic. I was told to significantly limit (or eliminate if possible) simple starches from my diet...so I don't eat pastas, breads, rice, or potatoes (and I don't plan to start eating them again...ever). I was told no carbonated beverages...of any kind..after surgery, and no drinking from a straw....so I don't drink anything carbonated (and won't ever again), and I'll never use a straw again. I was told to eliminate added sugars from my diet, as much as humanly possible....so I don't eat anything sweetened with sugars (including ice creams, syrups, puddings, Desserts, etc). Granted, my surgeon's approach is very conservative (compared to many on this site), but I figure...he has way more experience with this than me....and I'm paying him a LOT of money for his experience....he probably has reasons for all the behavior changes he recommends...right??

So....do whatever your program tells you do to. Take every suggestion seriously. Read as much as you can on the topic of food addiction (I highly recommend "The End of Overeating"), and learn as much as you can about the psychological implications associated with dramatically changing your relationship with food. You are wise to begin making those changes now....it will make your post-op process much easier, if you eliminate "bad" foods from your diet now. Also, get in the habit of using small utensils (bowls, plates, spoons, forks) when you eat, and to taking at least 30 minutes to eat a meal...taking very small bites, and chewing til the bite is liquid in your mouth before you swallow it. Another tip...start tracking everything you consume...now...so that tracking is second-nature to you, by the time you're ready to start tracking after your surgery. (And if you hadn't considered food tracking, it really is a critical tool for managing your weight loss process!) :)

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RxKid- I think everyone is giving you some great advice. So, here's my 2 cents worth: I don't have a nutritionist but, my Dr told me that I can basically have what I want but to chose wisely & eat everything in moderation. As with anyone who is going to make the decision to have surgery, you're going to go thru a lot of different emotions. It's completely natural & you should write down all your questions & concerns & present them to your Dr.. I wish you the best of luck & you should be proud of yourself for being such a great dad to want to take the necessary steps toward living a happier, healthier life...

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I have to say I was a lot like you I had no issues like sugar loos pressure or even sleep apnea no cholesterol problems. But once they got in there they found I had a huge fatty liver that was going to kill me!! This surgery saved my life. Had no idea. So maybe you feel like the weight is not affecting you but you never really know. Good luck!

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I am 29, my son is 5 years old and although my wife works, they couldn't afford everything if something happened to me during surgery.

Going into the surgery I had $500K in life insurance in addition to my work's coverage. I also told my wife that I wanted to be cremated if anything happened and that no matter what happens I love her and this was 100% my decision to do this so whatever happened was my own doing. It's reality and there are serious risks involved. You should be prepared for the worse.

All that being said, I was sleeved on October 10th without any complications. It's the greatest thing I've ever done for myself.

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simply amazing and incredible!!! I don't just 'like' your comments, I "LOVE" all of them. thanks again to all of you. Yes - I am getting my surgery done at Mass.General Hospital in Boston. The Hospital is Ranked #1 in the Nation. Not sure where they rank for weight loss surgeries but I'm sure they're great at it. Yeah I mean, I'm not afraid of missing out on soda or coffee or fast food or anything. I can and will go without, seriously. I just wish I could know I'll be ok and make it out alive without complications. that is why I am trying my absolute best to work on my weight and health now. I pray I will be ok and I will have faith.

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You will be great bud! And everyone on here is amazing! I have found no matter how off the wall your questions/comments/concerns are you have a huge family here that will support you!!! Dig through progress pics on here and keep asking questions, that's what I did and I'm safely and happily on the other side of this surgery!

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Start working on Protein Shakes and learning what food to eat after it will help you feel like you have some control. I stareted at 423 and had surgery 8-14 and now weigh under 330 it will be worth it. I was the healthy fat guy until the last 4 years then $200,000 in dr bills and I decided to fix it. It does work

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You can do this! It is worth it to be healthy for your family...they need you! We are all here to support you, we were all in your shoes not long ago....and it was the best decision I have ever made!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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