Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Feel Like I'm A Failure



Recommended Posts

SO - had surgery 9/10 and I'm down 15 pds - I come on here and see everyone's success stories who have lost WAY more than me and have been sleeved in less time than I have. This absolutely sucks - I can't believe this is not working for me, all this feels like it's for nothing. perhaps is because my starting weight was 191 day of surgery....so I'll lose slower? I am beyond frustrated - I feel like everyone here at work is judging me for not losing more, this is just another failed diet.

I am so pissed off that I did this to myself - removing 80%+ of a perfectly healthy organ to have it fail.

I was told to get in about 45-50 gm Protein which i do easily each day - I get in most of my fluids a day - walk about a mile a day and have just started doing my weight training again this weekend (doc said to wait at least 6 weeks before doing that type of exercise) - will start my elliptical exercises later this week - once I get my son over to my house to bring it in from the garage.

I have put away the scale as it bring me to tears everytime I step on it and see that its still NOT moved. Yes my clothes are starting to fall off and yes I've lost 16 inches.....but damn - everyone else has lost so much more.

I'm happy for those who are totally rocking their sleeve - but i wish i was one of them.

think I need to make an appt. w/my doctor and discuss these issues......I have never been depressed in my entire life, but I think that's what's going on now.

again - I am so disappointed with myself I could just scream.

thanks for letting me rant.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh please hang in there! You are and have been successful. I was sleeved on September 10th. Out of surgery I gained 7 pounds and took a week for all the Fluid to leave me. I then lost 21 pounds BUT then stalled for 10 days which during this time I also gained 2 pounds. I was very hard to deal with even though I new my stall would break but like you I thought what did I do this all for?

Please don't beat your self up. You are doing the right things. I know for me I try to get 60-80 grams of Protein a day which includes a Protein Drink for Breakfast. My stall broke and I have lost 5 more pounds.

The weight will come off, you are a light-weight as they say so I think you are right you may lose slower. You can't compare your self to someone that started at 400 pounds.

You are a success, I wish you well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh please... are you them? Everyone is different so how could you compare yourself to them and then call yourself a failure...? You will lose more, you will stall, get frustrated, and then start losing again.. everyone is different, be yourself and take care of YOU.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Slow scale change does not a failure make. Losing inches and clothes falling off a success makes.

Yoda in The Sleever Strikes Back

Time ...give yourself. Diet and exercise program... in line are. Doomed... your fat is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mufasa'a mom....another aspect of your feeling bad....the surgery itself. I remember for the first 6 or 7 weeks after surgery, I was terribly depressed and angry. Some say its hormones being released from the fat. Whatever the reason, I remember it being terrible, It felt like the end of the world. Mine was not related to the amount of weight I lost, but rather with a family member, and my general outlook on life. I didn't really realize what was going on. This may be partially (or totally) what you're dealing with. Please hang in there,15 lbs in a little over a month is great, when was the last time you did that? You will do great.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

8% of your body weight in a month and a half doesn't sound like a failure to me. Hang in and stay the course. Vent when you need and try not to compare your loss to others.

Good luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes my clothes are starting to fall off and yes I've lost 16 inches.....but damn - everyone else has lost so much more.

Don't minimize the accomplishment you have made!!!!! How many inches did you lose before the sleeve??? So you're body isn't dropping pounds, it's dropping inches. Be proud of how your body is changing even if it's changing in a different way than someone else!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So here's a reality check......You "only lost 15lbs." Your clothes are falling off...... What is the truth here? I believe it's time for you to throw your scale away, or hide it. You are obsessing over a stupid scale and the numbers on it. You have lost so much weight that your clothes are falling off! That to me is success......An NSV as we call it...... I'd rather have my clothes fall off than worry about the numbers. You are doing great....... The #'s on the scale will go down and you are going to be so pleased with yourself.

Yes, you are depressed and it would be highly beneficial to see your doctor and perhaps he can prescribe something to help you with the depression. Not a big deal..... Hang in there and rant away when ever you need to. We are here to help you. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks everyone for allowing me to preach off my soap box today - I will HIDE the freaking scale when I get home and not look at it and weigh myself maybe twice a month.

I just can't recall the last time I didn't have a handle on things.....it's extremely frustrating. Yes I'm one of those Type A's who is a neat freak and organizational nutcase.

Got a new VP to babysit and she's great - but quite needy - and my other VP has gotten additional staff and roles dumped on him...so therefore I have so much more to do and I still dont' feel 100% yet. I feel like I'm letting them down.

I hope its just hormones from fat release and this feeling sucks.

again - thanks for talking me off the ledge so to speak - you guys are awesome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't compare yourself to others, especially taller/ heavier people. Let's look at your situation.

You are 4'11"

Your SW was 191lb

Your CW is 176lb

A normal BMI starts at 124 for you.

You had 67lbs of excess body weight the day of your surgery.

In 1 month you have lost 22.3% of your excess body weight. I personally think that is great!!

Don't think pounds. Think percentages.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks everyone for allowing me to preach off my soap box today - I will HIDE the freaking scale when I get home and not look at it and weigh myself maybe twice a month.

I just can't recall the last time I didn't have a handle on things.....it's extremely frustrating. Yes I'm one of those Type A's who is a neat freak and organizational nutcase.

Got a new VP to babysit and she's great - but quite needy - and my other VP has gotten additional staff and roles dumped on him...so therefore I have so much more to do and I still dont' feel 100% yet. I feel like I'm letting them down.

I hope its just hormones from fat release and this feeling sucks.

again - thanks for talking me off the ledge so to speak - you guys are awesome!

You are doing fantastic, however I know what you mean.... I was 240 and 233 day of surgery today I went up a lb to 218 so far 27 since pre op and surgery was sept 25 th. I've lost 16 after .... I have the same thoughts too but trying not to focus on it. My good friend in NJ lost 45 in two months I'm nowhere near her! Lol anyways, I like you did tell people around me, lets face it they will figure it out anyways and I feel people are just waiting to know how much I've lost! I might tell people I don't know, not weighing .... Maybe you can too :). Hang I'm there you will be laughing at this day in a few months! It is a huge adjustment physically emotionally and mentally! Xo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am also frustrated with my stall!! Started at 272 when sleeved 9-5-12. Stalled for almost 3 weeks at 240!!!

What should I do? My clothes are all way too big-am I losing inches but not weight? Help!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am also frustrated with my stall!! Started at 272 when sleeved 9-5-12. Stalled for almost 3 weeks at 240!!!

What should I do? My clothes are all way too big-am I losing inches but not weight? Help!!

Just continue eating according to your prescribed diet & exercising. The stall will break.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do not get discouraged. You CANNOT compare your weight loss to others, since everyone is different. There is no way you will not lose with your food instake the way it must be and the size of your srtomach. The people who have more weight to lose, will lose faster. That is a doctors fact. The fact that you are losing inches is a success in itself. Ask yourself when is the last time you lost 15 lbs. on your own and lost inches like you have on your own? Be happy for those accomplishments and don't be so hard on yourself. In a few months you will realize what a great decision you have made and will feel and look better than ever. I have aceraged a loss of 7-8 lbs. a month before I reached my goal, but that was steady and has stayed off. Everyone's metabolism rate is different, so please try to be happy with the success you have had. Stop weighing yourself so much then, and concentrate on your inches you have lost. It doesn't happen overnight for anyone, but you must think positive and stay on track. Don't give up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this post is completely right on!

I feel that I have been incredibly successful with the sleeve, right on target per the nutritionalist and certainly meeting my expectations!

I lost 24% of my excess within 30 days of surgery - pretty much the same as you!

In fact, if I calculated the "excess" the same way you are, my stats would be worse. My goal is not to get down to a 22 BMI, but something more like 26-27 so in reality my EXCESS to lose was more then 150. I lost 37# by one month out which is 24% of my 150# excess weight but if I was targeting a 22 BMI my excess weight is something more like 170-175# and my month one loss would have been 22% of that.

My point about all this math is that you cannot go on "raw" pounds you really do need to look at percentages. Either percentage of excess weight like I just showed OR percentage of body weight lost like they do on Biggest Loser. Raw pounds are very misleading comparing yourself to others.

I think you are doing well!

You can't compare yourself to others, especially taller/ heavier people. Let's look at your situation.

You are 4'11"

Your SW was 191lb

Your CW is 176lb

A normal BMI starts at 124 for you.

You had 67lbs of excess body weight the day of your surgery.

In 1 month you have lost 22.3% of your excess body weight. I personally think that is great!!

Don't think pounds. Think percentages.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Jrule

      Any od 63 years old  or older having weight loss surgery or have had weight loss surgery.
       
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • HeBrokeTheChains

      I had surgery on September 27th and I am one of the very blessed ones that have had no pain to speak of besides a couple days of gas pain. I have lost 9 lb since surgery, and I am feeling a little like I should have lost more by now. Is that realistic? Or am I being too fussy?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • QUEEN2021

      Hello everyone.. I had my surgery on Sept 30th 2021.. and it has been an horrible experience to me. I can't hold down fluids or soft food. so much mucus is coming up!! and I'm spitting all day. I'm so sad over this journey. is anyone having this same issue? if so, what are you doing about it. 
      · 1 reply
      1. SleeverSk

        Are you on meds for reflux? If not you should be at this point. If you are already on reflux meds get in touch with your surgeon asap as this is not normal. If fact i would be getting in touch with the surgeon either way. I hope your issue is resolved and you feel better soon

    • Meganator

      Tomorrow is the big day! Getting sleeved in the morning and possibly spending a dark and stormy night in the hospital after. I'm actually excited about that because rain on wedding days and birthdays is considered a sign of good luck- so wouldn't a commitment of re-birth qualify as well?
      Can't wait to see y'all on the other side!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • summerset

      Hope everyone's doing ok so far.
      Incidence numbers are on the raise again and hospitals need to treat more COVID patients again. Looking with some kind of dread towards autumn/winter season. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×