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One Of Those "ah Ha" Moments Today...



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Today when I got home from work I was catching up on some things and my husband walks in the room flipping through the Soma catalog that had come in the mail today. For those not familiar, Soma is a lingerie/intimates store. Very classy, practical, yet sexy - and they have THE MOST comfy (yet cute) undies you'll ever find in your life! Of course I haven't been able to fit into their stuff for at least 6-9 months. Sigh...

Anyway, he hasn't talked much about my upcoming surgery other than the fact that he's very nervous about it. So today he comes and sits down next to me with the Soma catalog and tells me he can't wait for me to get back into wearing stuff like that again. Then I thought about it and realized he's right. I'm 34 years old and I've been wearing nothing but high waisted cotton granny panties and sports bras (because that's all that fit me now) for close to a year. Ugh. I lost about 40lbs last year (with at least another 60-75 left to go) , but gained it all back plus 30lbs this year, sizing me out of pretty much all of my undergarments and 85% of my clothes. Double ugh.

For me it was an interesting little peek into how my confidence issues due to my weight affect the people I love the most. We've been together 11.5 years, started dating when I was overweight, and I've yo-yo'd up and down ever since. He has never made a negative comment about my weight/appearance, but on the contrary has reaffirmed over and over again how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am - no matter how much I weigh. This past year brought me to a weight I've never seen before and it's squashed every bit of confidence (albeit small) that I could ever manage to muster. I don't even bother trying to look decent anymore. I wear whatever I can fit on my body (which isn't much anymore, and it's definitely not anything cute), throw my hair up so it's out of my face, and go about my day. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only person who looks at me every day.

His comment made me feel very hopeful and excited. Excited to get back into wearing things that make me feel sexy and confident again. Hopeful to know that even though my husband has loved me and found me completely and equally hot at 162lbs and 280lbs (not necessarily in that order!), that I can finally believe it when he says that I'm mind-blowingly gorgeous to him.

My surgery day can't come quick enough!

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Isn't it wonderful to have a man that way?!

My husband has told me I am still beautiful and sexy to him! I love hearing it... sometimes...

Other times he tells me to make me feel better when I am beating myself up. Then my mean streak comes out and I ask him "how can you love someone that looks like this?" (Over the last 12 years he has watched me go up and down)

It is in that moment I know he has not given up on me when I have given up on myself.

I wish you the best in your journey. God knows we need this to feel our sexy selves and see our self the way our husbands see us!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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