Am I Losing My Mind?

[aprilcarrie 6]

This is probably going to sound really stupid but now that my surgerys getting closer i find myself obsessing about alot of things and its really starting to make me depressed , not like depressed about the surgery im actually super excited about that but more like depressed that i did so many things in my life and wasted so much time while i was overweight, like i was looking at my wedding pictures and burst into tears the other day and no matter how many people have told me that i was beautiful in them i still pick out every flaw i see in every picture and it makes me so depressed because thats a moment in my life that ill never ever get back ill never have another wedding and i wasted it being overweight, obviously if i would have known i was getting the surgery i would have waited but at the time i didnt even know what vertical sleeve surgery was let alone that i would be getting it a year and a half later,..and thats just one example, pictures of my sons birthday parties and other events have been doing it, looking at my old clothes, it seems like any little thing can set me off soo i guess what im asking is has anyone else gone through anything like this or am i just losing it lol

This is one of my wedding pictures so you can see what im dealing with...

[Paigers 67]

I completely get it! I am sad on all of the cute mom and kids pics I have missed out on because I felt too uncomfotable in front of a camera. The funny thing is instead of feeling depressed, I feel quite the opposite! I am looking forward to my kids bday parties and taking pictures. I can't wait to have my surgery and get this photo shoot going!!

[aprilcarrie 6]

Yeah I'm definitely excited about all the fun stuff that's coming up idk why I've just felt really down on myself lately, its judt very hard to realize hiw big i really let myself get :/ I guess I just need to stop living in the past and focus more on the new healthy me

[Pepper Paul 143]

I know exactly how you feel. When my wife and I started dating I was 223 pounds thanks to phen-fen. Almost two years later when we got married (and phen-fen had been off the market for as long), I was 350 pounds. I still hate how I look in my wedding photos and that was 12 years ago. I'm pretty sure my wife can still fit in her dress and she looked stunning. Once I reach goal, I plan to renew our vows and get those wedding photos I never had. It's never too late!

[aprilcarrie 6]

Awe that's a really good idea!!!