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Is this a normal feeling?



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I am 29 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I have been on every diet imaginable and did good with loosing the weight just to gain back everything I lost plus more. I am scheduled for lap band surgery on August 23rd. Right now I am going through the dieting, exercising, chewing the food, sipping the Water and quit smoking phase. At first I was very excited about everything, but when I have time by myself I sit and wonder if I can do this the rest of my life. I am so scared that I am not chewing the food enough, sipping the water slow enough, what if the band deteriorates and I don’t have the money to get it removed, what if my stomach stretches and I spent all of this money for nothing, what if the band slips? As I sit here following the diet plan they gave me and I see my weight go down before I even have the surgery I wonder to myself why this is so hard? Why do I need to spend the money on surgery if I am doing good now? I know because this is new I am doing good and after a while I will become bored and probley go back to my usual ways, but with the band I don’t have that option and I will need to do this forever and it scares me to death.

I guess my question is am I the only one out there feeling this? Is this normal? How should I deal with these problems? Any words of wisdom would really be helpful.

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tigk -

Yes, those feelings are completely normal. It is scary knowing that you are going to have to change, and that for all intents and purposes, it's a permanent change - not something you can waffle on on a whim.

The good news:

The changes that you will be required to make are not that usually that drastic once you're out of the healing phase and back on real foods. There is a very good chance that you will feel little if any difference with a wide open band, but in spite of that, chances are you will be eating less anyway.

As you start getting fills, the amount you eat at each meal will decrease naturally, if you listen to your full signals.

As far as "why can't you do this yourself?" You can. It's just extremely difficult to change one's habits permanently, particularly when it comes to food. With the band, eating less is easier, because you get full faster. Making healthy choices is easier, because your hunger level is under control, and lots of times the less nutritious items are unpleasant to eat, so there is negative reinforcement going on.

As long as we keep on doing whatever we did to lose weight, the weight will stay off. That's why diets don't work - people don't stay on them forever. And they don't stay on them forever, because the changes are too drastic and don't fit in with a normal lifestyle. The changes that aren't too drastic we don't continue to do, because the results are not readily apparent.

With the band, it doesn't matter if the results aren't readily apparent - we are forced to continue on regardless. If I were just eating less on my own, and it wasn't very pleasant because I was hungry, and my wieght did not go down after 8 weeks, I would have little motivation to continue eating less. With the band, I'm not feeling hungry even though I'm eating less, and regardless of whether the scale moves or not, I have to continue eating less, because of the band. So eventually the scale starts moving down again. Like it would have if I had NOT been banded, but continued to eat less. However, the chances that I would have continued to eat less all by myself are very, very small.

I hope this helps clarify some things in your mind. :D

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Your feelings of anxiety are completely normal and may get worse as your surgery date approaches. That's normal, too.

I second everything Donali said. Of course you can lose weight on your own. You've done it before, you can do it again. But it probably won't stay off because eventually you'll go back to your old ways.

I'll be honest. I have a years-long bad habit of eating too much of the wrong foods for the wrong reasons. That's how I got to be morbidly obese. Since being banded, I've lost 50 pounds almost effortlessly. But for the past several months I've been struggling. I've reverted back to some of my bad habits. I've eaten high calorie foods a lot. BUT I have not regained a pound. Why? Because I can't eat very much - even of the wrong foods. So I'm in a holding pattern and while I struggle to regain control, at least I'm not re-gaining weight. That's what I love about the band.

After you're banded, you probably will miss overeating. I have. You will have to learn to re-direct those desires to overeat into healthier activities. It won't always be comfortable. But you almost certainly will be more successful than you've been in the past at losing weight and keeping it off. And that's the whole point, isn't it?

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Thank you for the support!

Donali ~ did they tell you how or what caused your band erosion? Do you know what % of people this happens to?

It seems like both of you have had great success in losing weight with the band and I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope I am as lucky!

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Hello,

I have had my band 7 weeks and have done just fine. I had all of the same anxieties before I got my band. I even cried all the way to surgery just because I was so nervous. I had been scheduled for an 8 am surgery time and they finally got me in at about 3 pm, so I had several hours to starve and get more nervous. None of the nurses spoke much english so we didn't know what was going on. All in all, everything went great and yours will too. Donali has mentioned in the past that erosion statistically happens 1-3%. It's supposed to be very low. Best wishes to you, Teresa

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tigk -

The cause of erosion is not known for sure. There is speculation that certain behaviours can increase the risk, like overeating and using NSAIDs or other gastric irritants.

I believe if overeating was a big factor in erosions then the 1-3% chance that's quoted would be more like 50%, since I believe most bandsters overeat at least occasionally.

According to a superficial search on implanted devices of all types, erosion was listed as a possible complication in all the devices I checked out. So I believe spontaneous erosion is possible.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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